Van Wilder quotes

31 total quotes

Other Characters
Taj Mahal Badalandabad
Van Wilder

View Quote Applicant: I see a rabbi. And he's performing a cir****cision...on himself though.

View Quote Jeannie: It was the greatest ten seconds. Ever.

View Quote Richard: You do not call her that, Gonad!

View Quote Vance Wilder, Sr: Sweet Joesph, my son's a fairy.

View Quote Jeannie: This party so rocks, Richard!
Richard: This party sucks rectum, Jeannie!

View Quote McDoogle: Ok, Wilder. Let's dance.
Van: It's a good day to die, McDoogle.

View Quote Taj: This is the culmination of my being.
Naomi: Baby, I'm about to culminate, now get over here.

View Quote Van: Blue. It brings out your eyes. Kid's got killer eyes; not unlike yourself. Anyone ever tell you that?
Gwen: Yes, my boyfriend.

View Quote Van: Now, repeat after me. No **** pump...
Taj: No **** pump.

View Quote Vance Wilder, Sr.: And, schedule in a massage.
Assistant: At the Happy Ending?
Vance Wilder, Sr.: Ah Yes.

View Quote Vance Wilder, Sr.: Van is still in school?
Assistant: For the better part of a decade.

View Quote [during sex]
Jeannie: P.S. This a great room.
Richard: P.S. Shut the **** up!

View Quote And thus, 'Topless Tutors' was born.

View Quote Are you stalking me? 'Cause that would be super.

View Quote Don't be a fool, stay in school.