Watchmen quotes

View Quote An ordinary burglar, kill the Comedian? Ridiculous. Laurie: I'm sorry Dan, I invite you out for a few laughs... but there don't seem to be many laughs around these days.
Dan: What do you expect? The Comedian's dead.

View Quote You know, mankind's been trying to kill each other off since the beginning of time; now, we finally have the power to finish the job. Ain't nothing gonna matter once those nukes start flying; we'll all be dust. [sets fire to a map of the United States.] And Ozymandias here will be the smartest man on the cinder.

View Quote Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I've longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man: Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it's you — only you — that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos; it's like turning air into gold. A miracle. Now dry your eyes, and let's go home.

View Quote I've walked across the surface of the sun, seen events so tiny and so fast that they hardly can be said to have occurred at all. But you, Adrian...are just a man. And the world's smartest man poses no more threat to me than does its smartest termite.

View Quote In my opinion, the existence of life is a highly overrated phenomenon.

View Quote It's a joke. It's all a ****in' joke.

View Quote My father was a watch maker. He abandoned it when Einstein discovered time is relative. I would only agree that a symbolic clock is as nourishing to the intellect as a photograph of oxygen to a drowning man.

View Quote Adrian: [Nixon finishes his speech on Veidt's TVs] Do you see? It's your super powers retreating from war. I've saved the Earth from hell. We both have. This is as much your victory as it is mine. Now we can return. Do what we were meant to.
Rorschach: We were meant to exact justice! Everyone's gonna know what you've done...
Adrian: Will they? By exposing me, you would sacrifice the peace so many died for today.
Dan: Peace based on a lie.
Adrian: But peace! Nonetheless.
Jon: ...He's right. Exposing Adrian would only doom the world to nuclear destruction again.
Laurie: No... we can't do this.
Jon: On Mars, you taught me the value of life. If we hope to preserve it here, we must remain silent.
Rorschach: Keep your own secrets...
[The others look as Rorschach leaves, then Jon and Adrian make eye contact]
Dan: Don't even think about it. [goes after Rorschach] Rorschach! Wait!
Rorschach: [turns] Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon. That's always been the difference between us, Daniel. [leaves the building]
Adrian: I've made myself feel every death... see every innocent face I've murdered to save humanity. [turns to Jon] You understand, don't you?
Jon: Without condoning... or condemning. I understand.

View Quote Adrian: Of course, my moral safeguards gave me pause at the necessary sacrifice. A few key regions around the globe... New York, Los Angeles, Moscow, Hong Kong. Disintegrated in an instant. Fifteen million people killed... by Dr. Manhattan himself. The world's punishment for flirting with World War III.
Dan: Jon wouldn't do that.
Adrian: A fact no one outside this room ever has to know. The energy breakthrough I was working on just came to fruition. All these years, Jon was helping me replicate his power, unaware of how I planned to use it. You see, the Comedian was right. Humanity's savage nature will inevitably lead to global annihilation. So in order to save this planet, I had to trick it with the greatest practical joke in human history. Killing millions, to save billions. A necessary crime.
Rorschach: You know we can't let you do that.
Adrian: "Do that", Rorschach? I'm not a comic-book villain. Do you seriously think I'd explain my masterstroke to you if there were even the slightest possibility you could affect the outcome? I triggered it thirty-five minutes ago.

View Quote Dan: So, I've been thinking... I feel that we have an obligation to our fraternity; I think we oughta spring Rorschach.
Laurie: ...What?
Dan: Someone set him up. And this whole cancer thing, with Jon... It just doesn't make sense; You didn't get it.
Laurie: Yeah, but breaking into a maximum security prison is a little different than putting out a fire.
Dan: Yeah, you're right - it'll be more fun.

View Quote Dan: Look, I don't like what you're implying. And I like being followed even less.
Rorschach: Maybe I was keeping an eye on you. In case someone's gunning for masks.
Dan: You were never that sentimental.
Rorschach: Attack on one is an attack on all of us.
Dan: What do you suggest we do about it?
Rorschach: Retribution.
Dan: Watchmen are over.
Rorschach: Says Tricky Dick.
Dan: Says me.

View Quote Doctor Manhattan: Why would I save a world I no longer have any stake in?
Laurie: Then do it for me. If you ever cared.
Doctor Manhattan: When you left me, I left Earth. Does that not show you that I care?

View Quote Laurie: Hey, you remember that guy? The one who pretended to be a supervillain so he could get beaten up? What was his name..? Captain Carnage.
Dan: Yeah he was one for the books.
Laurie: You're telling me! I remember, I caught him coming out of this jeweller's. I didn't know what his racket was. I start hitting him and I think "Jeez! He's breathing funny! Does he have asthma?
Dan: He tried that with me, only I'd heard about him, so I just walked away. He follows me down the street… broad daylight, right, screaming "Punish me! PUNISH ME!" I'm like "No! Get lost!"
Laurie: What ever happened to him?
Dan: Well, he pulled it on Rorschach, and Rorschach dropped him down an elevator shaft.
[Pause. They both start laughing]
Laurie: Oh, God, I'm sorry, that isn't funny.
Dan: Maybe a little

View Quote Rorschach: An ordinary burglar, kill the Comedian? Ridiculous.
Dan: I heard he'd been working for the government since '77, knocking over Marxist republics in South America. Maybe it was a political killing or something?
Rorschach: Maybe. Maybe someone's picking off costumed heroes.
Dan: You don't think that's a little paranoid?
Rorschach: That what they say about me now? Paranoid?

View Quote Rorschach: We need to squeeze people.
Dan: [sarcastic] Sure. Why don't we just pick names out of a phone book?
Rorschach: You've forgot how we do things, Daniel. You've gone too soft. Too trusting. Especially with women.
Dan: Okay, no, listen: I've had it with that! God, who do you think you are, Rorschach?! You live off people while insulting them, and nobody complains because they think you're a goddamn lunatic! [uncomfortable beat. Rorschach approaches Dan, who sighs] I'm sorry. I... I shouldn't have said that, man.
Rorschach: Daniel... You are a good friend. [extends his hand and Dan takes it.] I know...it can be...difficult with me sometimes...
[Dan notices Rorschach is still grasping his hand and pulls it off with the other]
Dan: Forget it. It's okay, man. Let's do it your way.