Garth Algar quotes

View Quote It's sucking my will to live!

View Quote Come in, your landing gear is down! (holding headset upside down)

View Quote Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick.

View Quote In the edited for TV verison Garth states "Jamoca almond idiot" as the ice cream flavor.

View Quote Did you ever see that 'Twilight Zone' where the guy signed a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?

View Quote Ribbed for her pleasure. Ewww.

View Quote That bass player's a babe. She makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.

View Quote If she were a president, she'd be Baberaham Lincoln

View Quote (as policeman approaches) Yes; I definitely smell a pork product of some type.

View Quote Okay... First I'll access the secret military spy satelite that is in geosynchronous orbit over the midwest. Then I'll ID the limo by the vanity plate "MR. BIGGG" and get his approximate position. Then I'll reposition the transmission dish on the remote truck to 17.32 degrees east, hit WESTAR-4 over the Atlantic, bounce the signal down into the Azores, up to COMSAT-6, beam it back to SATCOM-3 transponder number 137 and down on the dish on the back of Mr. Big's limo. It's almost too easy.

View Quote Let me tell you something about women, Wayne. They want you to come get them, they LOVE it.

View Quote I'm having a good time... not.

View Quote (reading from Benjamin's planner) 'Thursday — purchase feeble cable access show, and exploit it.' Gee, I feel sorry for whoever THAT is.

View Quote [to camera] I don't really have anything to say- HEY What's that? [Camera looks, turns back to Garth, who is walking away quickly]

View Quote We fear change.

View Quote Excuse me, I'd like to get by now.

View Quote Wayne, it's never going to happen, live in the now!

View Quote Hey Phil, if you're gonna spew...spew into this. (Unfolding and holding out a tiny Dixie paper cup to a sick-looking friend.)