Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory quotes

View Quote 'Round the world and home again, that's the sailor's way! [From "Homeward Bound" by William Allington.]

View Quote '[From William Shakespeare's Merchant Of Venice, Act 5, Scene I - Portia - That light we see is burning in my hall. How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.

View Quote Charlie Bucket: [to Grandpa Joe] You know... I'll bet those golden tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.

View Quote Computer Inventor: I am now telling the computer exactly what he can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate!

View Quote Mrs. Teavee: I'm sending you the cleaning bill, Mr. Wonka!

View Quote T.V. Anchorman: Four down and one to go. And somewhere in this world, another person is moving closer and closer to winning the last of the most sought after prizes in history. Though we cannot help but envy him, whoever he is, and we may be tempted to be bitter in our own losing, we must remember that there are plenty more important things in life. Offhand, I can't remember what they are, but I'm sure there must be something.

View Quote The Tinker: "Up the airy mountain, down the rushy glen; We dare not go a-hunting, for fear of little men." [A quote from William Allingham's poem The Fairies]

View Quote Violet Beauregarde: What is this, a freak out?

View Quote Charlie Bucket: Grandpa, look at Augustus! [pointing to Augustus Gloop leaning over face down, heavily slurping from the chocolate river]
Grandpa Joe: Don't worry, Charlie. He can't drink it all.
Augustus: [slurps, but a few seconds later, he plummets into the chocolate] Aarghh!
Mrs. Gloop: Save him!
Augustus: Help! Help! Fish me out!

View Quote Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, what's gonna happen to the other kids? Augustus, Veruca?
Willy Wonka: My dear boy, I promise you they'll be quite all right. When they leave here, they'll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they'll be a little bit wiser for the wear. Anyway, don't worry about them.
Grandpa Joe: Er...what do we do now, Mr. Wonka?
Willy Wonka: Yes, well...I hope you've enjoyed yourselves, excuse me for not showing you out, you'll find the way, I'm terribly busy. Whole day wasted. Good-bye to you both, Goodbye. [quickly disappears into his office]
Charlie: What happened? Did we do something wrong?
Grandpa Joe: I don't know, Charlie... but I'm gonna find out.

View Quote Charlie Bucket: What was that we just went through?
Willy Wonka: Hsawaknow.
Mrs. Teevee: Is that Japanese?
Willy Wonka: No, that's Wonkawash spelled backwards.

View Quote Grandpa Joe: Come on, Charlie, let's get out of here. I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do. If Slugworth wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one.

View Quote Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka?
Willy Wonka: I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
Grandpa Joe: I just wanted to ask about the chocolate, the lifetime supply of chocolate, for Charlie. When does he get it?
Willy Wonka: He doesn't.
Grandpa Joe: Why not?
Willy Wonka: Because he broke the rules.
Grandpa Joe: What rules? We didn't see any rules! Did we, Charlie?
Willy Wonka: Wrong, sir! WRONG! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void IF - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy! - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera..."Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum,"[the torch of the mind lights the path to glory] et cetera, et cetera..."MEMO BIS PUNITOR DELICATUM"!! [I remember the spoiled punisher twice] It's ALL there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You STOLE Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get... NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!!
Grandpa Joe: You're a crook. You're a cheat and a swindler! That's what you are! How can you do a thing like this?! Build up a little boy's hopes, and then smash all his dreams to pieces?! (furiously) YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER!!
Willy Wonka: I SAID "GOOD DAY!!!"
(he goes on about his work)

View Quote Interviewer: So you like the killing [on television]
Mike Teevee: That's what life's all about! But my dad won't let me have a real gun yet, will you, pop?
Mr. Teevee: Not 'till you're twelve, son.

View Quote Mr. Salt: Come along! Come along, you girls! Put a jack in it! Or you'll be out in your ears! Every one of ya! And listen to this! The 1st girl that finds a Golden Ticket gets a £1 bonus in her pay packet! What do you think of that?!
[every worker cheers and gets back to work faster]
Veruca Salt: They're not even trying. They don't want to find it. They're jealous of me.
Mr. Salt: Sweetheart, I can't push them no harder. 19,000 bars an hour they're shelling. 760,000 they've done so far!
Veruca Salt: You promised, Daddy! You promised I'd have it the very first day!
Mrs. Salt: You're going to be very unpopular around her, Henry, if you don't deliver soon.
Mr. Salt: It breaks my heart, Henrietta. I hate to see her unhappy.
Veruca Salt: I won't talk to you ever again. You're a rotten, mean father! You never give me anything I want! And I won't go to school until I have it.
Mr. Salt: Veruca, sweetheart, angel. Now, there are four tickets left in the world, and the whole ruddy world's hunting for them!! What can I do?!