Jordan Belfort quotes

View Quote My name is Jordan Belfort. I'm a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens. The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.

View Quote You want to know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on Wall Street. "****" this, "shit" that, "****", "****", "asshole"; I couldn't believe how these guys talked to each other. I was hooked in seconds. It was like main-lining adrenaline.

View Quote On a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my "back pain", Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine... Well, because it's awesome.

View Quote The Quaalude, or Lude, as it is commonly referred to, was first synthesized in 1951 by an Indian doctor -that's dots, not feathers- as a sedative, and was prescribed to stressed-out housewives with sleep disorders. But, pretty soon, somebody figured out that if you resisted the urge to sleep for just 15 minutes, you got a pretty kick-ass high from it. Didn't take long for people to start abusing Ludes, of course, and in 1982, the U.S. Government "Schedule 1'd" them, along with the rest of the world. Which meant there was only a finite amount of these things left. No shit. You can't even buy them, anymore. You people are all shit out of luck.

View Quote Let me tell you something. There's no nobility in poverty. I've been a poor man, and I've been a rich man. And I choose rich every ****ing time.

View Quote So you listen to me and you listen well. Are you behind on your credit card bills? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Does your girlfriend think you're a ****ing worthless loser? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! All you have to do today is pick up that phone and speak the words that I have taught you. And I will make you richer than the most powerful CEO in the United States of ****ing America!

View Quote An IPO is an initial public offering. It's a first time a stock is offered for sale to the general population. Now as the firm taking the company public, we set the initial sales price, then sold those shares right back to our friends. The i- Look, I-I know you're not following what I'm saying anyway, right? That's-that's okay. That doesn't matter. The real question is this: was all this legal? Absolutely ****ing not. But we were making more money than we knew what do with.

View Quote I ****ed her brains out... for eleven seconds.

View Quote This right here is the land of opportunity. This is America. This is my home! The show goes on! [quoting from Norma Rae] They're gonna need to send in the National Guard to take me out, 'cause I ain't going nowhere!

View Quote I clean up my act, I did rehab, I'm a TV personality, I'm sober for two years, and THIS happens. Rugrat goes and gets busted down in Miami, and guess who the **** with? Saurel. I mean, what are the ****ing odds? There had to be 10,000 Swiss bankers in Geneva, and Rugrat gets the one dumb enough to get himself arrested on U.S. soil. Even more ****ed, was that he got busted for shit that had nothing to do with me. It had nothing to ****ing do with me! Something about laundering drug money through off-shore boat racing and a guy named Rocky Aoki. You know, the founder of Benihana. Benihana? Beni-****ing-hana? BENI-****ING-HANA?! WHY?! WHY, WHY, GOD?! Why would You be so cruel as to choose a chain of ****ing hibachi restaurants to take me down?!

View Quote The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.