Zorro, The Gay Blade quotes

48 total quotes

View Quote [During one of Bunny Zorro's appearances before the people…]
Bunny Zorro: And remember, my people — there is no shame in being poor, only dressing poorly!

View Quote [Esteban calls Zorro's bluff, forcing Zorro to surrender to prevent Charlotte's execution.]
Captain Esteban: I have always depended on people being nicer than me, and I have never in my life been disappointed.

View Quote [Esteban, dressed rather appropriately as Henry VIII, addresses his guards before the ball.]
Captain Esteban: He is cunning! He is crafty. He's not just going to walk in here and say, "Here I am!"
[Diego, dressed as Zorro, enters the palace.]
Don Diego: Here I am!

View Quote [Florinda chats with the mysterious black-clad stranger.]
Florinda: You know, as the Alcalde's wife, I must play many, many, many roles, but the people only see the part I play in public. Only a few select friends know my private parts.

View Quote [Florinda finally escapes Bunny and complains to her husband.]
Captain Esteban: Your neck!
Florinda: Did that woman bruise me? She's got hands like an gorilla!
[She drops her hands to her upper chest, where her necklace isn't.]
Esteban, Florinda: Neck! Neck! Neck! Neck!

View Quote [Florinda moans about her miserable life with Esteban.]
Florinda: Do you realize… that we only make love 12 times a year?
Don Diego: Once a month is not too bad!
Florinda: I mean, 12 times in one night! And then, for the rest of the year — nothing!
Don Diego: Tell me… on that one night… does he eat anything especial? Oysters? Raw eggs?
Florinda: Garlic. A lot of garlic.
Don Diego: Ah!
Florinda: Diego, darling! Why didn't I marry you instead of him?
Don Diego: Perhaps because he asked you and I did not.

View Quote [Florinda, crawling up a ladder into Diego's bedroom, tells him about Zorro's party intrusion.]
Florinda: He made a complete fool out of Esteban. Ha ha!
Don Diego: Well, with Esteban, there is so much material to work with!

View Quote [In the women's restroom, Bunny, dressed as a woman, continues to help/hassle Florinda.]
Florinda: If you don't stop touching me, I shall have you… destroyed!

View Quote [On the road, Don Diego has defeated an apparent brigand in swordplay.]
Tax Collector: I beg your mercy from- from your flashing blade, and—
[Paco shows up in bear regalia.]
Tax Collector: Ooooh! Oh my God! — also from your hideous dog!

View Quote [Outside Diego's home, Bunny is diguised as a priest wearing crisom velvet monk's robe.]
Captain Esteban: Tell me, Father — what order commands its priests to wear such strange clothes?
Bunny Wigglesworth: We are followers of Peter the Dressmaker. He who was Christ's tailor.

View Quote [The "brigand", who turns out to be the Alcalde's henchman Velasquez, reports to Esteban about his misadventure.]
Velasquez: He said his name was, uh… "Zero". He was dressed all in black, and was accompanied by a… hideous dog.

View Quote [The guards move Charlotte away from and Diego onto the execution platform.]
Charlotte Taylor Wilson: You're the bravest man I have ever met.
Don Diego: [nervously] I'm very impressed with myself, too.

View Quote [The landowners meet to elect a new Alcalde.]
Captain Esteban: Caballeros! I believe you all know each other?
Don Diego: Don Diego from San Fernando.
Don Francisco: Don Francisco from San Jose.
Don Fernando: Don Fernando from San Diego.
Don Jose: Don Jose from San Bernardino.
Luis Obispo: Luis Obispo from Bakersfield.

View Quote [The mute Paco gestures wildly at Diego.]
Don Diego: Are jou jelling at me?

View Quote [Velasquez points out Zorro, who is dancing with Florinda.]
Captain Esteban: That man in the black sombrero — this is Zero?
Old Man: I am certain of it!
Captain Esteban: Then the hideous dog you refer to must be my wife, yeah?