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Look, you're about to cram like...10 years of pimpage into one day. Partner, after that....you're on my level.
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Looks aren't important. Look at me. Really look at me. I am ugly as ****, by traditional standards, but I still get with women. Aren't you curious as to how that's possible?
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Oh, man. I had a weekend. We went down to, uh, Tijuana, Mexico, ya know. And there was this guy there and he was all, "Hey, you gotta come and check out one of these shows." And, you know, it's a woman ****in' a horse. And you get there and you're thinking "Oh, a woman ****in' a horse." And you get there, and it is not as a great as you thought it would be. It's kinda gross. I mean, it was really givin' it to her. To be honest, we all just felt bad for her. Kinda felt bad for the horse.
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Rich man gets off work, then buys stereo. Not after ****ing brunch!
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Screw these analogies, okay? What he's saying is that you are gonna be so bad at sex the first time that you don't wanna have sex with someone you like, 'cause they'll think you're a weirdo for being so lame at it. So you wanna have sex with "hood rats" so that by the time you get to a girl that you do like, you won't be terrible at sex, you'll be mediocre at it. [pause] Probably still pretty bad, though.
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So, tell me Montel. Why weren't we invited to the party? What are we, al Qaeda?
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This is hogshit. You're a ****ing asshole to tell me to come here and tell me he was a nice guy didn't you? Well **** you people, **** you, you, you, and you, **** and kiss my big brown ****ing ass okay!
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You know what's a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM's and see if you can whack off before you fall asleep. You always win, that's the best part about the game.
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You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much I completely stay away from them!
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You know, when you, like, you grab a woman's breast and it's... and you feel it and... it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it.
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You're making the pussy into this great big Greek goddess named 'Pussalia' and what you're doing is that you're psyching yourself into to thinking that it's some impossible feat.
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You're puttin' the pussy on a pedestal.
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You've gotta wait till the seed grows into a plant. Then you **** the plant!
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Yup. She was a ho. [Pause] For sho.
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[About his ex] She was adorable... ****in' bitch.