Caddyshack quotes

107 total quotes

Multiple Characters
Spaulding Smails
Ty Webb

View Quote In one physical model of the universe, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, in the opposite direction.

View Quote Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet-Cong...Varmint-Cong. So you have to fall back on superior firepower and superior intelligence. And that's all she wrote.

View Quote Look at that one. The last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

View Quote Man in a boat overboard. You beast! You savage. Come on, bark like a dog for me. Bark like a dog! I will teach you the meaning of the word "respect"!

View Quote Moose...Rocco..Help the judge find his checkbook!

View Quote Oh Mrs. Crane, you wore green so you could hide from me. You're a little monkey woman. You're lean and you're mean and you're not too far between, either, I bet, are ya, huh? How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my head?

View Quote Oh, Porterhouse! Look at the wax build-up on those shoes! This is fine leather! I want that wax stripped off! I want them creamed and buffed with a fine chamois. And I want them now! Chop chop!

View Quote Oh, this your wife, huh? Ooh a lovely lady. Hey baby, you're all right. You must've been something before electricity, huh?

View Quote Ooh, my arm! It's broken!

View Quote Spaulding, this one calls for the old Billy Barule. Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy. This is a biggie! Don't let me down, Billy! Forty thousand dollars...Billy

View Quote Thank you very little.

View Quote This is my friend Mr. Wang . . . no offense!

View Quote Wait up, girls. I've got a salami I've got to hide.

View Quote Well, the world needs ditch diggers too.

View Quote Well..[looks at his bare wrist as if checking a watch]..I've got a "thing"..