Charlie and the Chocolate Factory quotes

View Quote Mike Teavee: What's the special prize and who gets it?
Willy Wonka: The best kind of prize is a sur-prize! Haha.
Veruca Salt: Will Violet always be a blueberry?
Willy Wonka: No... maybe... I dont know. But that's what you get for chewing gum all day, it's just disgusting.
Mike Teavee: If you hate gum so much, why do you make it?
Willy Wonka: Once again, you really shouldn't mumble because it's kinda starting to bum me out.

View Quote Mike Teavee: Why is everything here completely pointless?
Charlie Bucket: Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy.
Mike Teavee: It's stupid! [Dr. Wilbur Wonka voice-over] "Candy is a waste of time!"
Dr. Wilbur Wonka: No son of mine is going to be a chocolatier!
Little Willy Wonka: Then I'll run away! To Switzerland, Bavaria! The candy capitals of the world!
Dr. Wilbur Wonka: Go ahead. But I won't be here when you come back!

View Quote Mike Teavee: You don't understand anything about science. First off, there's a difference between waves and particles. DUH!!! Second, the amount of energy it would take to convert energy into matter would be like nine atomic bombs.
Willy Wonka: MUMBLER!!! Seriously. I cannot understand a single word you're saying.

View Quote Mr. Salt: [asking about the squirrels taking Veruca] Where are they taking her?
Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad nuts go. Down the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt: Where does the chute go!?
Willy Wonka: To the incinerator. But don't worry, we only light it on Tuesdays.
Mike Teavee: Today IS Tuesday.
Willy Wonka: Well, there's always a chance they decided not to light it today...

View Quote Mr. Salt: [sees the Nut Sorting Room] Ah, here's a room I know all about. You see, I myself am in the nut business. [gives Wonka his business card. Wonka flings it away without looking at it] Do you use the Hammermax 4000 to do your sorting?
Willy Wonka: No. Haha. You're really weird.

View Quote Mr. Teavee: Is it just me, or does Mr. Wonka seem a few quarters short of a buck?
Mr. Salt: I'm sorry, I don't speak American.

View Quote Mrs. Beauregarde: What do you use Hair Cream for?
Willy Wonka: To lock in moisture, haha. [primps his hair]

View Quote Mrs. Gloop: Augustus, please don't eat your fingers!
Augustus Gloop: But I taste so good.

View Quote Prince Pondicherry: [about his chocolate palace] It is perfect in every way.
Willy Wonka: Yeah, but it won't last long. You better start eating right now.
Prince Pondicherry: Oh, nonsense! I will not eat my palace. I intend to live in it.

View Quote Veruca Salt: Daddy! I want a flying glass elevator!
Mr. Salt: [sternly] Veruca, the only thing you're going to get today is a bath, and that's final!
Veruca Salt: [looks at her father angrily] But I WANT it!
[Her father looks angrily back at Veruca]

View Quote Veruca Salt: Daddy, I want a squirrel. Get me one of those squirrels, I want one!
Mr. Salt: Veruca dear, you have many marvelous pets.
Veruca Salt: All I've got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle, and a silly old hamster! I WANT a SQUIRREL!
Mr. Salt: All right, pet. Daddy will get you a squirrel just as soon as he possibly can.
Veruca Salt: But I don't want any old squirrel! I want a trained squirrel!
Mr. Salt: [wearily] Very well. Mr. Wonka, how much do you want for one of those squirrels. Name your price.
[Veruca smiles]
Willy Wonka: Oh they're not for sale. She can't have one.
Veruca Salt: [her smile drops to an angry expression] Daddy!
Willy Wonka: [imitating Mr. Salt] I'm sorry, darling. Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.
Veruca Salt: If you won't get me a squirrel, I'll get one myself!

View Quote Veruca Salt: Let's be friends.
Violet Beauregarde: Best friends.
[both turn away, obviously hating each other]

View Quote Violet Beauregarde: [after stretching into a pretzel shape] Look mother, I'm much more flexible now.
Mrs. Beauregarde: [disapprovingly] Yes, but you're blue.

View Quote Violet Beauregarde: [hugs Wonka] Mr. Wonka. I'm Violet Beauregarde.
Willy Wonka: [freaks out] Oh... I don't care.
Violet Beauregarde: Well, you should care. Because I'm the girl that's going to win the special prize at the end.
Willy Wonka: Well, you do seem confident and confidence is key.
Veruca Salt: I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir. [does a curtsy]
Willy Wonka: I always thought a verruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot. Haha.
Augustus Gloop: [eating a candy bar] I'm Augustus Gloop. I love your chocolate.
Willy Wonka: I can see that. So do I. I never expected to have so much in common. [to Mike] You, you're Mike Teavee. You're the little devil who cracked the system. [to Charlie] And you, well you're just lucky to be here, aren't you? [to their parents] And you must be their...p- p...
Mr. Salt: Parents?
Willy Wonka: Yeah! Moms and dads.

View Quote Violet Beauregarde: What's so funny?
Willy Wonka: It must be from all those dog-gone cocoa beans. By the way, did you guys know that chocolate releases a property which triggers the release of endorphins? Gives one the feeling of being in love.
Mrs. Beauregarde: [flirtily] You don't say?