Charlie and the Chocolate Factory quotes

View Quote Willy Wonka: [about the three-course-dinner chewing gum] I've tried it on like twenty Oompa-Loompas and each one ended up as a blueberry. It's just weird!
Mrs. Beauregarde: [after Violet has turned into a blueberry] But, I can't have a blueberry for a daughter. How is she supposed to compete?
Veruca Salt: You could put her in a county fair.
[Mrs. Beauregarde looks at Veruca viciously]

View Quote Willy Wonka: [After the Augustus Gloop song] Bravo! Well done! Well done! Aren't they delightful? Aren't they charming?
Mr. Salt: I do say, that all seemed rather rehearsed.
Mike Teavee: Like they knew it was going to happen.
Willy Wonka: Oh, poppy****.

View Quote Willy Wonka: [Getting his shoes shined by Charlie, with a paper in his face] Pity about that chocolate maker-- Wedle... um... Walter...
Charlie Bucket: Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka: That's the one. Says here that his candies aren't selling very well. But I suppose he's just a rotten egg who deserves it.
Charlie Bucket: Yep.
Willy Wonka': Oh, really. Ever met him?
Charlie Bucket: I did once. I thought he was great at first. But then he didn't turn out so nice. He also has a funny haircut.
Willy Wonka: [Throws his paper down] I do not!
Charlie Bucket: Why are you here?
Willy Wonka: I don't feel so hot. What makes you feel better when you feel terrible?
Charlie Bucket: My family. What have you got against my family?
Willy Wonka: It's not just your family, it's the whole idea of... [balks] You know they're always telling you what to do, what not to do. It's not condusive to a creative atmosphere.
Charlie Bucket: Usually, they're just trying to protect you, because they love you. If you don't believe me, you should ask.
Willy Wonka: Ask who? My father? Ha! No way. At least, not by myself...
Charlie Bucket: Do you want me to go with you?
Willy Wonka: Hey! Hey what a great idea! Yeah! [jumps up] And you know what? I brought a transporta-- [bangs into the glass elevator] I have to watch where I park this thing.

View Quote Willy Wonka: An important room, this. After all, it is a chocolate factory.
Mike Teavee: Then why's the door so small?
Willy Wonka: That's to keep all the great big chocolatly flavor inside.

View Quote Willy Wonka: Here, try some of this. It'll do you good. You look starved to death.
Charlie Bucket: [Drinks some of the chocolate] It's great.
Willy Wonka: That's because it's mixed by waterfall. The waterfall is most important. It mixes the chocolate. Makes it light and frothy. By the way, no other factory in the world mixes-
Veruca Salt: [interrupts] You already said that.
Willy Wonka: You're all quite short, aren't you?
Violet Beauregarde: Well, yeah. We're children.
Willy Wonka: Well, that's no excuse. I was never as short as you.
Mike Teavee: You were once.
Willy Wonka: Was not! Know why? Because I distinctly remember putting a hat on top of my head. Look at your short little arms. You could never reach.

View Quote Willy Wonka: How do you feel about little raspberry kites?
Charlie Bucket: With liquorice instead of string?
Mrs. Bucket: Boys, no business at the dinner table.
Charlie Bucket: Sorry, Mum.
Willy Wonka: I think you're onto something though, Charlie.

View Quote Willy Wonka: Oh thank Heaven, he's completly unharmed.
Mr. Teavee: Unharmed!? What are you talking about!?
Mike Teavee: Just put me back in the other way!
Willy Wonka: There is no other way, it's teleVISION not telePHONE, there's quite a difference.
Mr. Teavee: Then what exactly do you propose to do about it?
Willy Wonka: I don't know, but young men are extremely springy, they stretch like mad... [gasps] Let's go put him in the taffy puller!
Mr. Teavee: [horrified] Taffy puller!?
Willy Wonka: Hey! That was my idea! Boy, is he gonna be skinny.

View Quote Willy Wonka: People! Those pipes suck up the chocolate and carry it away all over the factory. Thousands of gallons an hour. Yeah. And do you like my meadow? Try the grass. Please have a blade, please do. It's so delectible and so darn good looking.
Charlie Bucket: You can eat the grass?
Willy Wonka: Of course you can. Everything in this room is eatible. Even I'm eatible. But that is called 'cannibalism', my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

View Quote Willy Wonka: THAT pipe... it just so happens to lead directly to the room where I make the most delicious kind of strawberry flavored chocolate coated fudge.
Mrs. Gloop: Then he will be made into strawberry flavored chocolate coated fudge, they'll be selling him by the pound all over the world...
Willy Wonka: No. I wouldn't allow it. The taste would be terrible. Could you imagine Augustus flavored chocolate coated Gloop? Eww. No one would buy it.

View Quote [After the puppet show opening bursts into flames]
Willy Wonka: [clapping] Ha ha ha, wasn't that just magnificent? I thought it was getting a little dodgy in the middle part, but that finale...Wow!
Violet Baeuregarde: Who are you?
Grandpa Joe: He's Willy Wonka!
Charlie Bucket: Really!
Willy Wonka: Good morning starshine, the Earth says hello! [takes out flash cards] Greetings. Welcome to my factory. I shake you warmly by the hand. My name is Willy Wonka.
Veruca Salt: Then shouldn't you be up there? [points to stage]
Willy Wonka: Well, I couldn't very well watch the show from up there, now, could I, little girl?
Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka, I don't know if you remember me, but I used to work here in the factory.
Willy Wonka: Were you one of those despicable spies who everyday tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those parasitic copy-cat candy-making cads?
Grandpa Joe: No, sir.
Willy Wonka: Wonderful, welcome back. Lets get a move on, shall we?
Augustus Gloop: Don't you want to know our names?
Willy Wonka: Couldn't see how it wouldn't matter.

View Quote [about Violet] She's swelling up!

View Quote [after being asked how a candy bar tasted] I don't know. I hate chocolate.

View Quote [from trailer] Back off, you little freaks!

View Quote [in response to Mrs Bearegarde asking how Violet could compete as a blueberry] You could put her in a county fair!

View Quote All these years... and you haven't flossed.