Clueless quotes

View Quote (to step-brother Josh) So, the flannel shirt deal -- is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?

View Quote Amber Mariens: Miss Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne Davenport: Well, there goes your social life.

View Quote Cher Horowitz: (about Tai) Dee, my mission is clear. Would you look at that girl. She is so adorably clueless. We have got to adopt her.
Dionne Davenport: She is to' up! Our stock would plummet.
Cher Horowitz: Dee! Don't you wanna use your popularity for a good cause?
Dionne Davenport: No.

View Quote Cher Horowitz: Tai, how old are you?
Tai Fraiser: I'll be sixteen in May.
Cher Horowitz: My birthday is in April and, as someone older, can I please give you some advice? It is one thing to spark up a doobie and laced at a party, but it is quite another to be fried all day.
Dionne Davenport: Do you see the distinction?
Tai Fraiser: (clearly confused) Yeah.

View Quote Cher Horowitz: Would you call me selfish?
Dionne Davenport: No, not to your face.

View Quote Cher Horowitz: [looks at Dionne's hat] Shopping with Dr. Seuss?
Dionne Davenport: [picks up Cher's backpack] Well, at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my backpack.
Cher Horowitz: It's faux!

View Quote Cher Horowitz: But, Tai, do you really think you'd be good with Josh? I mean, he's like a school nerd.
Tai Fraiser: What, am I some sort of a mentally challenged airhead?
Cher Horowitz: No! Not even! I didn't say that.
Tai Fraiser: What, I'm not good enough for Josh or something?
Cher Horowitz: I.... I just don't think you mesh well together.
Tai Fraiser: YOU don't think that WE mesh well?! Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You're a virgin who can't drive.
Cher Horowitz: .... That was way harsh, Tai.

View Quote Cher Horowitz: Daddy, did you ever have a problem that you couldn't argue your way out of?
Mel Horowitz: Tell me the problem, and we'll figure out how to argue it.
Cher Horowitz: I like this boy....
Mel Horowitz: Yes
Cher Horowitz: And he likes someone else.
Mel Horowitz:How could that be?
Cher Horowitz: I don't know, but I feel wretched!
Mel Horowitz: Well, obviously this boy is a complete moron. You are the most beautiful girl in Beverly Hills. And to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I want you with a stupid fellow like that.

View Quote Cher Horowitz: Hey granola breath, you've got something on your chin.
Josh Lucas: I'm growing a goatee.
Cher Horowitz: Oh, that's good. You don't want to be the last person at the coffee house without chin pubes.

View Quote Cher Horowitz: Hey! You know about this stuff. I wanna do something good for humanity.
Josh Lucas: How about sterilization?

View Quote Cher Horowitz: Lucy, you know I don't speak Mexican.
Lucy: I not a Mexican! [storms out]
Cher Horowitz: What was that about?
Josh Lucas: Lucy's from El Salvador.
Cher Horowitz: So?
Josh Lucas: That's an entirely different country.
Cher Horowitz: What does that matter?
Josh Lucas: You get angry if somebody thinks you live below Sunset.

View Quote Cher Horowitz: Oh, she's a full on Monet.
Tai Fraiser: What's that?
Cher Horowitz: You see, it's like the painting see, from far away it's okay, but up close it's a big ol' mess.

View Quote Dionne Davenport: (screams) No! What have you done?! Oh my God! Cher, look! Look what's he done to his head! Can you believe this? Why did you do that to your head!
Murray Duvall: 'Cuz I'm keepin' it real!
Dionne Davenport: What?!
Murray Duvall: I'm keepin' it real! Ai'ight? Look at Lawrence's head?
Lawrence: It's the bomb.
Murray Duvall: You know what I'm sayin'? You look good.
Lawrence: As will you.
Dionne Davenport: What do you care what he thinks, Murray? I'm the one that has to look at you! That was a big mistake! What am I gonna do with you now?! And right before the yearbook pictures! What am I gonna tell my grandchildren?! You know what? Okay. That's it!
Murray Duvall: (mocking) That's it!
Dionne Davenport: You wanna play games?
Murray Duvall: (still mocking) You wanna play games?
Dionne Davenport: I'm calling your mother!
Murray Duvall: I'm calling your mo- what?! No, no, no! Don't call my moms!

View Quote Dionne Davenport: Hello! There was a stop sign.
Cher Horowitz: I totally paused.

View Quote Dionne Davenport: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, but thy eternal summer shall not fade. Phat! Did you write that?
Cher Horowitz: Duh, it's like a famous quote.
Dionne Davenport: From where?
Cher Horowitz: Cliff's Notes.