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[After destroying the Mutt Cutts van, Harry and Lloyd are now driving a Zamboni. They beep the horn several times. On a country road, they cut past a tractor. While driving down a road surrounded by trees and bushes, Harry notices that Lloyd is asleep and intentionally drifts to the side of the road so that Lloyd's face hits several bushes, waking him up]
Harry: Bush club! Bush club! Bush club! Bush club! [giggles goofily as Lloyd glares in anger at him]
[Harry and Lloyd bathe in nuclear waste water from a power-plant. That evening, Harry and Lloyd are back on the road, now glowing green from the water]
Lloyd: I feel really good, Har.
Harry: Me too!
Lloyd: Really good!
[The next day, Harry and Lloyd are trying to out-drive a massive tornado]
Lloyd: [panicking] You might wanna step on it, Har!
[Harry is frantically driving at full speed, while Lloyd is pretending to run, as well as flapping his arms like a flying eagle. The next day, the sky is clear as Harry and Lloyd are driving down a desert road. They pass a road sign that reads "El Paso: 20 miles" and "Juarez, Mexico: 25 miles." Finally, Harry and Lloyd reach El Paso and arrive at the KEN Conference]
Harry: Bush club! Bush club! Bush club! Bush club! [giggles goofily as Lloyd glares in anger at him]
[Harry and Lloyd bathe in nuclear waste water from a power-plant. That evening, Harry and Lloyd are back on the road, now glowing green from the water]
Lloyd: I feel really good, Har.
Harry: Me too!
Lloyd: Really good!
[The next day, Harry and Lloyd are trying to out-drive a massive tornado]
Lloyd: [panicking] You might wanna step on it, Har!
[Harry is frantically driving at full speed, while Lloyd is pretending to run, as well as flapping his arms like a flying eagle. The next day, the sky is clear as Harry and Lloyd are driving down a desert road. They pass a road sign that reads "El Paso: 20 miles" and "Juarez, Mexico: 25 miles." Finally, Harry and Lloyd reach El Paso and arrive at the KEN Conference]
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[first lines]
Asylum Nurse #1: [talking about Harry] There he is again. Almost two decades and he still comes.
Asylum Nurse #1: [talking about Harry] There he is again. Almost two decades and he still comes.
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[Harry and Lloyd are in a hotel]
Harry: Oh, crap! We've gotta get back to Providence!
Lloyd: What? Why?
Harry: Remember how I told you Ice Pick had to make that rock candy run down to Maine?
Lloyd: Yeah?
Harry: I forgot to get someone to feed Butthole.
Lloyd: [sighs] Relax. I took care of it.
Harry: You did?
Lloyd: Yeah! Billy in 4-C's gonna feed him.
Harry: [chuckles] Oh, great. Well, didja give him the key to our apartment?
Lloyd: No! You think I want wheel marks all over the rug? I just wrote him a note, left some food and threw Butthole inside his place when we were leavin'. [goes to bed]
Harry: But Lloyd, Billy has over 100 rare birds in there!
Lloyd: So? They're not gonna mess with a 30-pound alley cat! Sheesh.
Billy: [rolls in the door and puts his keys aside] Hey, gang! I'm home! Guys? [his apartment is completely trashed and the corpses of his birds are scattered] You sure are quiet. [Butthole farts out several bird feathers and hops off the couch] Speak to me, Siskel.
Siskel: [squawks] The horror. The horror.
Harry: Oh, crap! We've gotta get back to Providence!
Lloyd: What? Why?
Harry: Remember how I told you Ice Pick had to make that rock candy run down to Maine?
Lloyd: Yeah?
Harry: I forgot to get someone to feed Butthole.
Lloyd: [sighs] Relax. I took care of it.
Harry: You did?
Lloyd: Yeah! Billy in 4-C's gonna feed him.
Harry: [chuckles] Oh, great. Well, didja give him the key to our apartment?
Lloyd: No! You think I want wheel marks all over the rug? I just wrote him a note, left some food and threw Butthole inside his place when we were leavin'. [goes to bed]
Harry: But Lloyd, Billy has over 100 rare birds in there!
Lloyd: So? They're not gonna mess with a 30-pound alley cat! Sheesh.
Billy: [rolls in the door and puts his keys aside] Hey, gang! I'm home! Guys? [his apartment is completely trashed and the corpses of his birds are scattered] You sure are quiet. [Butthole farts out several bird feathers and hops off the couch] Speak to me, Siskel.
Siskel: [squawks] The horror. The horror.
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[Harry and Lloyd are sitting on the back of a hauler with seats on the back, drinking milkshakes]
Lloyd: Oh crap! I ordered a vanilla shake and they give me a chocolate one!
Harry: Tell me about it! I ordered a chocolate shake, those jokes gave me a vanilla one!
Lloyd: They do that a lot! [They throw both their shakes out without realizing they have each other's shakes; the milkshakes hit the front of a truck behind them and splatter all over the window]
Familiar voice: What the HELL!??! [The driver turns out to be a much older Sea Bass]
Sea Bass' Friend: Kick his ass Sea Bass!
Sea Bass: Those dirty sons of bitches!!! [He pushes the accelerator and pursues them for long-awaited revenge]
Lloyd: Oh crap! I ordered a vanilla shake and they give me a chocolate one!
Harry: Tell me about it! I ordered a chocolate shake, those jokes gave me a vanilla one!
Lloyd: They do that a lot! [They throw both their shakes out without realizing they have each other's shakes; the milkshakes hit the front of a truck behind them and splatter all over the window]
Familiar voice: What the HELL!??! [The driver turns out to be a much older Sea Bass]
Sea Bass' Friend: Kick his ass Sea Bass!
Sea Bass: Those dirty sons of bitches!!! [He pushes the accelerator and pursues them for long-awaited revenge]
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[Harry and Lloyd are walking to El Paso after their hearse got hit by a train; Harry is deaf]
Lloyd: [thinking Travis drove off on them] I can't believe that douchebag stole our hearse. I hope something really bad happens to him.
Harry: No, but I tried ostrich once.
Lloyd: [stops Harry] Harry, holy cow! I'm worried about you. [waves his hand over Harry's face] You're as deaf as a bat.
Harry: That's not exactly how it happened, Lloyd. Your mother got into bed with me.
Lloyd: [thinking Travis drove off on them] I can't believe that douchebag stole our hearse. I hope something really bad happens to him.
Harry: No, but I tried ostrich once.
Lloyd: [stops Harry] Harry, holy cow! I'm worried about you. [waves his hand over Harry's face] You're as deaf as a bat.
Harry: That's not exactly how it happened, Lloyd. Your mother got into bed with me.
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[Harry and Lloyd arrive at Mr. and Mrs. Stainer's house at night]
Lloyd: Wanna hear the second most annoying sound in the world?
Harry: Sure. [Lloyd constantly rings the doorbell] Yeah. That's pretty annoying.
Lloyd: No, not that.
Mrs. Stainer: [answering the door] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING RINGING OUR DOORBELL LIKE THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?!
Lloyd: That!
Lloyd: Wanna hear the second most annoying sound in the world?
Harry: Sure. [Lloyd constantly rings the doorbell] Yeah. That's pretty annoying.
Lloyd: No, not that.
Mrs. Stainer: [answering the door] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING RINGING OUR DOORBELL LIKE THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?!
Lloyd: That!
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[Harry visits handicapped Lloyd at the asylum]
Harry: Anyway, you're in good hands here. So... take care, buddy.
[He walks off. Lloyd grunts]
Harry: [stops in his tracks] Lloyd, did you say something?
Lloyd: [barely audible] I got ya.
Harry: That's it, kid. You can do it. Come on! Come on, come on, come on! Spit it out!
Lloyd: [suddenly shouts in Harry's face] GOT YA!!!! [laughs]
Harry: [stammers] What?
Lloyd: [gets up from his wheelchair] You should see the look on your face! I got you so good!!!
Harry: Wait a second! Are you telling me that you were faking for 20 years?!
Lloyd: Uh-huh.
Harry: So you mean that you just wasted the best years of your life...
Lloyd: [scoffs] Out the window.
Harry: And you let me come here every Wednesday for like, 1,000 weeks, and it was all just for a gag!?
Lloyd: Uh-huh!
Harry: That's... awesome!
Harry: Anyway, you're in good hands here. So... take care, buddy.
[He walks off. Lloyd grunts]
Harry: [stops in his tracks] Lloyd, did you say something?
Lloyd: [barely audible] I got ya.
Harry: That's it, kid. You can do it. Come on! Come on, come on, come on! Spit it out!
Lloyd: [suddenly shouts in Harry's face] GOT YA!!!! [laughs]
Harry: [stammers] What?
Lloyd: [gets up from his wheelchair] You should see the look on your face! I got you so good!!!
Harry: Wait a second! Are you telling me that you were faking for 20 years?!
Lloyd: Uh-huh.
Harry: So you mean that you just wasted the best years of your life...
Lloyd: [scoffs] Out the window.
Harry: And you let me come here every Wednesday for like, 1,000 weeks, and it was all just for a gag!?
Lloyd: Uh-huh!
Harry: That's... awesome!
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[going through his extremely old mail left at his childhood home] Oh, look. An acceptance letter from Arizona State.
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Crap on toast!
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Hey, Billy! I hear you got a lot of flocking birds.
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That's weird. The smell of peanuts makes my weenie cold.