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500,000 single women in London and I still can't get me fakin end away cause I'm a fakin stumblebum.
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Bill: Don't you ever get the itch?
Tommy: Yeah. I can see myself on a sun lounger in my back garden, couple of kids running about. Sipping my Pimm's quietly.
Bill: Kids, eh?
Tommy: Yeah, why not?
Bill: Well, what's their names?
Tommy: Dorian, after me mate.
Bill: Dorian? Both of them?
Tommy: Yeah, probably.
Bill: Well, what if they're girls?
Tommy: Dorian.
Tommy: Yeah. I can see myself on a sun lounger in my back garden, couple of kids running about. Sipping my Pimm's quietly.
Bill: Kids, eh?
Tommy: Yeah, why not?
Bill: Well, what's their names?
Tommy: Dorian, after me mate.
Bill: Dorian? Both of them?
Tommy: Yeah, probably.
Bill: Well, what if they're girls?
Tommy: Dorian.
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Fred: Don't get lemon Bill, it don't suit ya.
Billy: Spell it, you ****.
Fred: C-u-n-t, ****.
Billy: I meant lemon, soppy bollocks.
Billy: Spell it, you ****.
Fred: C-u-n-t, ****.
Billy: I meant lemon, soppy bollocks.
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Rod: Let’s get out of here Bill, there’s about ten Stoke fans staring right at us.
Billy: How many did you say it was?
Rod: About ten. Please don't start Bill.
Billy: Right, which one's staring at me.
Rod: The big geezer, one with the Hackett cap on.
Billy: [pointing at fan] Right see you you ****, I'll cut you first.
Billy: How many did you say it was?
Rod: About ten. Please don't start Bill.
Billy: Right, which one's staring at me.
Rod: The big geezer, one with the Hackett cap on.
Billy: [pointing at fan] Right see you you ****, I'll cut you first.
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Tamara's Father': [Rod meets his girlfriend's parents] "Tell me more about the air conditioning, Rodney. I'm fascinated.
Rod: Air conditioning?
Tamara's Father: You told me you run an air conditioning firm.
Rod: Oh, we have a few vans out on jobs most of the time. Yeah, sure it's always busier in the summer, of course. Nothing like a soaring temperature to help the work, you know what I mean? Anyway, most of the time I just sit around the office waiting for the weekend. Don't get me wrong, I love the money the job pays. But my real passion lies in kicking people's ****ing heads in at football. See, I got to channel it somewhere. As you can probably tell by my bulging stomach, I don't participate in too many sporting activities. And I don't do drugs. Well, that's not entirely true, but not a lot. So I got to have my release in something, and a good ****ing fight seems like the best way. Wouldn't you agree? Maybe not. At least I wouldn't be walking around like you lot, ****ing horrible ****s with sticks shoved up your asses trying to pretend your little suburban nightmare's all right. Then again, I suppose it just depends which way you look at it.
Rod: Air conditioning?
Tamara's Father: You told me you run an air conditioning firm.
Rod: Oh, we have a few vans out on jobs most of the time. Yeah, sure it's always busier in the summer, of course. Nothing like a soaring temperature to help the work, you know what I mean? Anyway, most of the time I just sit around the office waiting for the weekend. Don't get me wrong, I love the money the job pays. But my real passion lies in kicking people's ****ing heads in at football. See, I got to channel it somewhere. As you can probably tell by my bulging stomach, I don't participate in too many sporting activities. And I don't do drugs. Well, that's not entirely true, but not a lot. So I got to have my release in something, and a good ****ing fight seems like the best way. Wouldn't you agree? Maybe not. At least I wouldn't be walking around like you lot, ****ing horrible ****s with sticks shoved up your asses trying to pretend your little suburban nightmare's all right. Then again, I suppose it just depends which way you look at it.
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Tamara: So... What do you do, then, Thomas?
Tommy: [Thomas? I kick people's ****in' heads in for a laugh. And you should know, div. You read the charges out] "Me? I work long and hard.
Tommy: [Thomas? I kick people's ****in' heads in for a laugh. And you should know, div. You read the charges out] "Me? I work long and hard.
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Are you tryin' to mug me off in front of my pals?
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C'mon, jog on!
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Don't **** about, ping him!
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Getting beaten up by football hooligans is like having V.D. The ****ing pain goes on forever. But that's what makes it so exciting.
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I'm gonna smash the ****in' granny out of that.
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I've never ****ing liked you, you little ****. Do you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking I should take you outside and open you up.
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Jesus! I was expecting a bowl of cornflakes and a quick wank...
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Kicked half to death, florists, cabbies, nightmares and visions; one of the old soldiers gone forever; Bright gone for a seven; and bollocks so ruptured that the only thing I'll be pulling for months is a chain. After all that you really do have to ask yourself if it was all worth it... course it ****ing was!