Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle quotes

View Quote Extreme Sports Punk #1: Dude, that was so not extreme!
Cole: I know, Extreme Sports Punk Number One.

View Quote Freakshow: What the hell are you doing with my wife?
Harold: Y-you said outside that we could have sex with her!
Kumar: Shit! Shit!
Freakshow: I most certainly did not!
Harold: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Did not!
Kumar: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Oh, no, I didn't.
Kumar: You did, you did.
Freakshow: You sure?
Harold: You said it!
Freakshow: [laughing] My mistake! Well, since we're all here, how 'bout a four-some?

View Quote Goldstein: Sorry, kids. We ain't goin' nowhere. We're watching "The Gift". Supposedly Katie Holmes shows her titties in this movie.
Harold: Is that all you Jews ever think about? Tits?
Rosenberg: Katie Holmes is a nice, respectable, wholesome girl, and I'm gonna see her boobs.
Goldstein: The things I would eat out of her ass--you have no idea!
Rosenberg: Argh! That is a completely vulgar statement.
Goldstein: So is, "I wanna bang Britney Spears on the bathroom floor," but it's true.
Rosenberg: Touch?.

View Quote Harold: ...The universe tends to unfold as it should.
Kumar: What is that? Some fortune cookie?

View Quote Harold: [riding a cheetah] Dude, am I really high, or is this actually working?
Kumar: Both.

View Quote Harold: Are those my scissors?! Dude, I trim my noise hair with those.
Kumar: Dude, I have been cutting my ass hair with them for the past six months.

View Quote Harold: Back off **** boy, what I said him goes double for you.
J.D.: **** boy? You just call me **** boy?
Harold: Yeah, you know I did. You're just stalling 'cause you're not quick enough to think of a comeback.
J.D.: You think I'm not quick enough. Guy thinks I'm not quick enough. Well I got news for you. I am quick enough! **** boy! (raises index finger in sad attempt to flip Harold off)

View Quote Harold: Did Doogie Howser just steal my ****ing car?
Kumar: Yes. I think he did.
Harold: [starts screaming] You! You had to pick up a hitchhiker! Why?!
Kumar: Dude, I thought Neil Patrick Harris was a stand up guy! How was I supposed to know he'd **** us over?

View Quote Harold: Do you know the show Doogie Howser, M.D.?
Officer Palumbo: Great show. God I love that show. Doogie.
Harold: Neil Patrick Harris stole my car tonight.
Officer Palumbo: Hey! NPH wouldn't do that!

View Quote Harold: Dude, we're so high right now!
Kumar: We're not low!

View Quote Harold: Dude, where's my car?
Kumar: Where's his car, dude?

View Quote Harold: I am so hungry. I'm gonna eat, like, 20 of those burgers, man.
Kumar: Dude, ****in' I will see your 20 burgers and raise you 5 orders of fries.

View Quote Harold: I want 30 sliders, 5 french fries, and 4 large cherry cokes.
Kumar: I want the same except make mine diet cokes, Chuck.

View Quote Harold: I want that.
Kumar: What? A Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog?
Harold: No. I want that feeling. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling!
Kumar: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Harold: We gotta go to White Castle.
Kumar: Yes! Yes! I knew you had it in you dude!

View Quote Harold: Neil, you wouldn't happen to know how to get on the highway from here, would you?
Neil Patrick Harris: Dude, I don't even know where the **** I am right now. I was at this party earlier tonight and some guy hooked me up with this incredible "X"--next thing I know I'm being thrown out of a moving car. I've been trippin' balls ever since.
Kumar: That's crazy, dude. We've been having a pretty crazy, night, too. We've just been driving around looking for White Castle but we keep getting sidetracked.
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, dude, you fascinate me. Forget White Castle, let's go get some pussy!
Harold: Huh?
Neil Patrick Harris: It's a ****ing sausage fest in here, bros. Let's get some poon-tang. Then we'll go to White Castle.
Kumar: No, Neil, you don't understand. We've been craving these burgers all night.
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too--fur burgers. Come on, dudes, let's pick up some trim at a strip club. The Doogie line always works on strippers. [sings] Lap-dance.
Kumar: [pause] There's a gas station. I'm gonna see if I can get some directions.
Neil Patrick Harris: You don't need dir--gah. Hurry up, dudes, hurry up! I'm losing wood.
[they park, pause]
Neil Patrick Harris: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.
Kumar: Look, chill.
Harold: We'll be right back, Neil.
[they exit the car]
Harold: Dude, what is the deal with Neil Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny?