The Roman Empire quotes

View Quote Roman Guard - Seize HIM!!
Josephus - Seize This Honkus!
Waiter at last supper - "Are you all together or are there separate checks?"
Stoned Roman Soldier 1 - "So, do you care if it falls?"

Stoned Roman Soldier 2 - "What?"

Stoned Roman Soldier 1 - "The Roman Empire"

Stoned Roman Soldier 2 - "**** it!"

Roman Soldier - "Alchemist can you help me?"

Alchemist - "What are you looking for?"

Roman Soldier - "A pack of Trojans"

Alchemist - "Gee I just ran out!"
Marcus Vindictus - Don't you know your left flank from your right flank?

Captain Mucus - I'm sorry sir, I flunked flank.

Marcus Vindictus - You flunked flank? Get the flunk out of here!
Emporer Caesar - Nice. Nice. Not thrilling... but nice.
Dole Office Clerk - Occupation?

Comicus - Stand-up philosopher.

Dole Office Clerk - What?

Comicus - Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human existence into a viable and meaningful comprehension.

Dole Office Clerk - Oh, a *bullshit* artist!

Comicus - Hmmmmmm...

Dole Office Clerk - Did you bullshit last week?

Comicus - No.

Dole Office Clerk - Did you try to bullshit last week?

Comicus - Yes!

Empress Nympho - [to her litter bearers] Could you *please* step on the same foot at the same time! My tits are falling off!
Judas - No. No. Leave us alone!

Comicus - All right, all right! Jesus!

Jesus - Yes.

Comicus - What?

Jesus - What?

Comicus - What?

Jesus - Yes.

Comicus - Jesus!

Jesus - Yes.

Comicus - What?

Jesus - What?

Comicus - You said what.

Jesus - Yes.

Comicus - Nothing.
Empress Nympho - Oh Bob, do I have any openings that this man might fit?

Crowd - Whooooaaaaaaa!

Bob - Well, we could use another wine steward.

Josephus - I got a great corkscrew!

Crowd - Whoooaaaaaaa!

Josephus - Damn, this a hip crowd!
Oedipus - [walking around collecting donations] Give to Oedipus! Give to Oedipus! Hey Josephus!

Josephus - Hey, mother****er!