Roman Guard - Seize HIM!! Josephus - Seize This Honkus! Waiter at last supper - "Are you all together or are there separate checks?" Stoned Roman Soldier 1 - "So, do you care if it falls?" Stoned Roman Soldier 2 - "What?" Stoned Roman Soldier 1 - "The Roman Empire" Stoned Roman Soldier 2 - "**** it!" Roman Soldier - "Alchemist can you help me?" Alchemist - "What are you looking for?" Roman Soldier - "A pack of Trojans" Alchemist - "Gee I just ran out!" Marcus Vindictus - Don't you know your left flank from your right flank? Captain Mucus - I'm sorry sir, I flunked flank. Marcus Vindictus - You flunked flank? Get the flunk out of here! Emporer Caesar - Nice. Nice. Not thrilling... but nice. Dole Office Clerk - Occupation? Comicus - Stand-up philosopher. Dole Office Clerk - What? Comicus - Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human existence into a viable and meaningful comprehension. Dole Office Clerk - Oh, a *bullshit* artist! Comicus - Hmmmmmm... Dole Office Clerk - Did you bullshit last week? Comicus - No. Dole Office Clerk - Did you try to bullshit last week? Comicus - Yes! Empress Nympho - [to her litter bearers] Could you *please* step on the same foot at the same time! My tits are falling off! Judas - No. No. Leave us alone! Comicus - All right, all right! Jesus! Jesus - Yes. Comicus - What? Jesus - What? Comicus - What? Jesus - Yes. Comicus - Jesus! Jesus - Yes. Comicus - What? Jesus - What? Comicus - You said what. Jesus - Yes. Comicus - Nothing. Empress Nympho - Oh Bob, do I have any openings that this man might fit? Crowd - Whooooaaaaaaa! Bob - Well, we could use another wine steward. Josephus - I got a great corkscrew! Crowd - Whoooaaaaaaa! Josephus - Damn, this a hip crowd! Oedipus - [walking around collecting donations] Give to Oedipus! Give to Oedipus! Hey Josephus! Josephus - Hey, mother****er!

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