Knocked Up quotes
78 total quotesJason
Jay
Jonah
Martin
Pete
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Well, I'm gonna go make a protein shake.
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You are a funny mother****er man. Jesus, how can you fight with him? Look at his face, I just want to kiss it.
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You can't buy shit! You can barely buy spaghetti!
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You don't know who Doc Brown is? He invented the DeLorean.
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You haven't had to sacrifice anything! I've had to sacrifice my job, my body, my youth, my vagina.
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You know what? I know this isn't you talking, it's your hormones, but I would just like to say, "**** you, hormones! You are a crazy bitch, hormones!" Not Alison, hormones. **** 'em. It's a girl, buy some pink shit.
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You look like a cholo dressed up on Easter.
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You look like Babe Ruth's older gay brother. Gay-be Ruth.
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You old, she pregnant...can't have a buncha old, pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy. I'm only allowed to let in 5% black people. He said that, that means if there’s 25 people here I get to let in 1 1/4 black people. So I gotta hope there’s a black midget in the crowd.
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You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head.
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You went to Santa Monica Community College.
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Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.
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[looking at the fleshofthestars website] He misspelled "coming." Oh that's gross!
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[on subject of husbands] You criticize them so much, they get down on themselves, and then they're forced to change!
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[quoting ‘Back to the Future’] Where we're going we don't need roads.