The Last Boy Scout quotes

33 total quotes

Jimmy Dix
Joe Hallenbeck
Milo
Others

View Quote [Joe has just found out that Mike was sleeping with his wife]
Mike Mathews: It just happened, Joe. It...
Joe Hallenbeck: Sure, sure, I know... it just happened. Coulda happened to anybody. It was an accident, right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife. "Whoops! I'm so sorry, Mrs. H. I guess this just isn't my week."

View Quote [Before shooting a cop, "Good morning gentlemen, is there a problem?"] Yes, officer, as a matter of fact there is a problem, apparently there are too many bullets in this gun.

View Quote [giving Jimmy a briefcase full of $6 million] Go buy yourself a new pair of pants.

View Quote [Jimmy has just survived being thrown off an overpass and is now trying to calm startled motorists] It's okay. It's okay, folks. It's okay. It's okay. Thank you. Thank you. Danger is my middle name. Don't try this at home, folks. I'm a trained professional. There's me, and there's Super Dave.[Passes out]

View Quote [Threatening Joe with his knife] You think you are so ****ing cool, don't you? You think you are so ****ing cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain...

View Quote [to himself] Okay, what would Joe do at a time like this? He'd shoot everybody and smoke some cigarettes.

View Quote Excuse me, but did any of you stupid shits bother to frisk this ****?!

View Quote Hey Milo, where you callin' from? The bottom of the pool?

View Quote I am the bad guy.

View Quote I figure you gotta be the dumbest guy in the world, Joe. You're trying the save the life of the man who ruined your career, and avenge the death of the guy that ****ed your wife.

View Quote I swear to Christ that if I survive this ****ing case I'm gonna dance a jig.

View Quote If you go any faster we're gonna travel back through time.

View Quote Naughty boy, Joseph... You just killed a police officer.

View Quote Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You’re gonna lose. Smile, you ****!

View Quote Push this vile, **** off the road man!