Oseary Drakoulias quotes
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Bloody hell. God save that poor little stooge.
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Oh, we were like glory's gate, my darling. We were like that bloody shark of yours. We swam with the, um, uh — Oh, goddamn it. I had it on the plane. What was I gonna say? Ah, well.
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Tell me. Who knocked up the reporter?
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Steve: Encounter with highly abnormal sharklike fish! Ten meters in length, unfamiliar dorsal features, spots all over it! I shot it dorsally with a homing dart! Esteban was eaten! Check the scanning monitor! Start tracking before it dives too deep!
Klaus: Esteban was bitten?
Steve: Eaten!
Klaus: Is he dead?
Steve: Esteban was eaten!
Klaus: He was swallowed whole?
Steve: No! Chewed!
Klaus: Esteban was bitten?
Steve: Eaten!
Klaus: Is he dead?
Steve: Esteban was eaten!
Klaus: He was swallowed whole?
Steve: No! Chewed!
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Festival Director: That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?
Steve: Revenge.
Steve: Revenge.
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Antonia Cook: You must be so excited.
Steve: I hope so. You think it went OK?
Antonia Cook: No. Congratulations... Seriously.
Steve: Thanks. I wish it didn't require the "seriously," but thank you.
Steve: I hope so. You think it went OK?
Antonia Cook: No. Congratulations... Seriously.
Steve: Thanks. I wish it didn't require the "seriously," but thank you.
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Alistair: How are things going with your - what are you calling it? Leopard fish?
Steve: Jaguar shark.
Alistair: Jaguar shark! So tell me - does it really exist?
Steve: You know, Allie, I don't want to give away the ending.
Steve: Jaguar shark.
Alistair: Jaguar shark! So tell me - does it really exist?
Steve: You know, Allie, I don't want to give away the ending.
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Alistair: You're the most ravishing creature that I've ever seen in my life.
Eleanor: Hello Skinny.
Alistair: Hello Eleanor.
Eleanor: Is that a new merit badge?
Alistair: Oh, yeah, as a matter of fact it is. I just became a Knight in Portugal, the Presidente gave a special ball...
Steve: Don't be nice to Ali, he's my nemesis.
Eleanor: Hello Skinny.
Alistair: Hello Eleanor.
Eleanor: Is that a new merit badge?
Alistair: Oh, yeah, as a matter of fact it is. I just became a Knight in Portugal, the Presidente gave a special ball...
Steve: Don't be nice to Ali, he's my nemesis.
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Steve: [referring to Hennessy] How could you lay that slick ****?
Eleanor: Well, I was in love with him at the time...
Eleanor: Well, I was in love with him at the time...
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Steve: We were pretty good while we lasted, weren't we?
Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, we were like glory's gate, my darling. We were like that bloody shark of yours, we swam with the... oh, damn it, I had it on the plane.
Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, we were like glory's gate, my darling. We were like that bloody shark of yours, we swam with the... oh, damn it, I had it on the plane.
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Oseary Drakoulias: You must swear, legally swear that you will not kill that shark, or whatever it is, if it actually exists.
Steve: I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live. What about my dynamite?
Oseary Drakoulias: [to assistant] Phillip, dynamite.
Steve: I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live. What about my dynamite?
Oseary Drakoulias: [to assistant] Phillip, dynamite.
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Steve: You're supposed to be my son, right?
Ned: I don't know. But I did want to meet you, just in case.
Ned: I don't know. But I did want to meet you, just in case.
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Ned: Why didn't you ever try to contact me?
Steve: Because I hate fathers, and I never wanted to be one.
Steve: Because I hate fathers, and I never wanted to be one.
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Steve: People say that when someone says something like that, it's because they're jealous. But it still hurts. It hurts bad.
Ned: That man was damn rude. He can go straight to hell.
Ned: That man was damn rude. He can go straight to hell.
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Eleanor: Your cat's dead.
Steve: What? Which one?
Eleanor: Marmalade. I'm sorry.
Steve: What happened?
Eleanor: A rattlesnake bit it in the throat.
Steve: Goddamn it, Eleanor, why do you have to say it like that? You couldn't try to break it a little bit nicer?
Steve: She's a rich bitch, you know. She was raised by maids. Her parents paid for this island and two of my worst movies. People say she's the brains behind Team Zissou.
Ned: People say a lot of things. What kind of cat was it?
Steve: Who gives a shit?
Steve: I think it was a tabby.
Steve: What? Which one?
Eleanor: Marmalade. I'm sorry.
Steve: What happened?
Eleanor: A rattlesnake bit it in the throat.
Steve: Goddamn it, Eleanor, why do you have to say it like that? You couldn't try to break it a little bit nicer?
Steve: She's a rich bitch, you know. She was raised by maids. Her parents paid for this island and two of my worst movies. People say she's the brains behind Team Zissou.
Ned: People say a lot of things. What kind of cat was it?
Steve: Who gives a shit?
Steve: I think it was a tabby.
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Klaus: So, you really think you're a Zissou.
Ned: I don't know.
Klaus: Well, you traveled a long way for "I don't know," sonny.
Ned: That's true. But it's important to me.
Klaus: Yeah? Well, there are a lot of things that are important to some people around here, sonny.
Ned: Klaus, don't call me "sonny."
Klaus: And one more thing: It's the Steve Zissou show, not the Ned show. [slaps Ned in the face] You hear me?
Ned: Yes, I do. Klaus?
Klaus: Ja?
Ned: If you ever touch me again, I will kick your goddamn teeth out. Is that understood?
Klaus: Not if I don't see you first, sonny.
Ned: I don't know.
Klaus: Well, you traveled a long way for "I don't know," sonny.
Ned: That's true. But it's important to me.
Klaus: Yeah? Well, there are a lot of things that are important to some people around here, sonny.
Ned: Klaus, don't call me "sonny."
Klaus: And one more thing: It's the Steve Zissou show, not the Ned show. [slaps Ned in the face] You hear me?
Ned: Yes, I do. Klaus?
Klaus: Ja?
Ned: If you ever touch me again, I will kick your goddamn teeth out. Is that understood?
Klaus: Not if I don't see you first, sonny.
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Ned: When'd you first hear about me?
Steve: About five years ago. I read it in an article about myself.
Ned: Did you believe it?
Steve: It was in the paper. I assumed they checked their facts.
Steve: About five years ago. I read it in an article about myself.
Ned: Did you believe it?
Steve: It was in the paper. I assumed they checked their facts.
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Steve: I dunno, I think that bull-**** reporter is gonna burn us.
Ned: I don't think she's a lesbian, Dad. She's pregnant.
Steve: Bull ****s can get pregnant. Anyway, I'd back out now, but we need the press.
Ned: I don't think she's a lesbian, Dad. She's pregnant.
Steve: Bull ****s can get pregnant. Anyway, I'd back out now, but we need the press.
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Steve: Where'd you come from? You look pregnant.
Jane: I am pregnant. I'm not even going to ask what you men are doing out here in your matching pajamas, by the way.
Jane: I am pregnant. I'm not even going to ask what you men are doing out here in your matching pajamas, by the way.
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Steve: Can you hear the Jack Whales singing?
Ned: [Tanker goes off] Beautiful. I wonder what they're saying.
Steve: Well actually that's a Sludge Tanker over there... [Several whales sing] There you go!
Ned: [Tanker goes off] Beautiful. I wonder what they're saying.
Steve: Well actually that's a Sludge Tanker over there... [Several whales sing] There you go!
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Jane: I'm going to have to start locking my effing door.
Steve: It was locked, I kicked it in. Why don't you just curse like other people?
Jane: Because I'm trying to get out of the habit before I have my ****ing baby!
Steve: It was locked, I kicked it in. Why don't you just curse like other people?
Jane: Because I'm trying to get out of the habit before I have my ****ing baby!
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Vladimir Wolodarsky: [talking about Jane] I like her hairdo.
Pel? dos Santos: Me too, but Steve called her first.
Pel? dos Santos: Me too, but Steve called her first.
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Ned: Who locked us out?
Anne-Marie: No-one, we're trespassing.
Ned: Steve, are we allowed in here?
Steve: It's a scientific community, man.
Anne-Marie: No-one, we're trespassing.
Ned: Steve, are we allowed in here?
Steve: It's a scientific community, man.
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Vladimir Wolodarsky: Steve, one of the interns just fell down the stairs with the main tracking processor.
Steve: All right, just make sure we steal the backup.
Steve: All right, just make sure we steal the backup.
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Alistair: Apparently some crooked ****ers broke into my sea lab yesterday.
Crew member: How awful. Did they nick anything?
Alistair: It doesn't say. They probably just trashed the place. I'm so pissed I wanna spit. Hugo - tell Carl to load my elephant gun with buckshot. We're gonna hunt down these sickos.
Crew member: How awful. Did they nick anything?
Alistair: It doesn't say. They probably just trashed the place. I'm so pissed I wanna spit. Hugo - tell Carl to load my elephant gun with buckshot. We're gonna hunt down these sickos.
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Jane: How do you feel about part one of your new film?
Steve: Why? How do you feel about part one of my new film?
Jane: Well, I'm honest, so -
Steve: Just say it.
Jane: I thought aspects of it seemed slightly fake.
Steve: Did it seem fake when my best friend was bitten in half right in front of me then eaten alive, screaming? I think you're a fake. And I think you're a phony, and a bad reporter. How does that feel? Now tell me something. [Steve points his gun at her] Does this seem fake?
Steve: Why? How do you feel about part one of my new film?
Jane: Well, I'm honest, so -
Steve: Just say it.
Jane: I thought aspects of it seemed slightly fake.
Steve: Did it seem fake when my best friend was bitten in half right in front of me then eaten alive, screaming? I think you're a fake. And I think you're a phony, and a bad reporter. How does that feel? Now tell me something. [Steve points his gun at her] Does this seem fake?
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Steve: [handing Ned a gun] Here.
Ned: Oh, no, no, no.
Steve: No exceptions. Everyone gets one. Anne-Marie! Do the interns get glocks?
Anne-Marie: No. They all share one.
Ned: Oh, no, no, no.
Steve: No exceptions. Everyone gets one. Anne-Marie! Do the interns get glocks?
Anne-Marie: No. They all share one.
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Anne-Marie: Do you know that you just charted us on a course through unprotected waters?
Steve: Yeah, we're taking the shortcut.
Anne-Marie: But it's outside I.M.U. jurisdiction. There isn't any protection.
Steve: I know, honey. Look at the map. We go your way, that's about four inches. We go my way, it's an inch and a half. You wanna pay for the extra gas?
Steve: Yeah, we're taking the shortcut.
Anne-Marie: But it's outside I.M.U. jurisdiction. There isn't any protection.
Steve: I know, honey. Look at the map. We go your way, that's about four inches. We go my way, it's an inch and a half. You wanna pay for the extra gas?
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Steve: I hope you're not gonna bust our chops on this on, Bill.
Bill Ubell: Why would I do that?
Steve: Because you're a bond company stooge.
Bill Ubell: [scoffs] I'm also a human being.
Steve: All right, I take that back. How about a little teamsmanship?
Bill Ubell: Why would I do that?
Steve: Because you're a bond company stooge.
Bill Ubell: [scoffs] I'm also a human being.
Steve: All right, I take that back. How about a little teamsmanship?
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Steve: Are you sure?
Klaus: Yes, I am.
Steve: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus: What do you mean?... Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if.
Steve: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus: Oh... Do it again. I misunderstood.
Klaus: Yes, I am.
Steve: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus: What do you mean?... Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if.
Steve: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus: Oh... Do it again. I misunderstood.
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Oseary Drakoulias: [on a speaker phone] I spoke with Larry Amin, and it's a pass.
Steve: In other words, you ****ed us!
Oseary Drakoulias: Let's not cast stones at one another, my dear. Do you hear me, damn it? Do you?
Steve: No, I don't! I told you how to play it!
Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, bloody hell! You listen here, mate!
Ned: Can I interrupt for a second?
Oseary Drakoulias: Who the blazes is that?
Ned: It's me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe it's something. I don't know what your problems are, I don't know... but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?
[silence]
Oseary Drakoulias: What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?
Steve: In other words, you ****ed us!
Oseary Drakoulias: Let's not cast stones at one another, my dear. Do you hear me, damn it? Do you?
Steve: No, I don't! I told you how to play it!
Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, bloody hell! You listen here, mate!
Ned: Can I interrupt for a second?
Oseary Drakoulias: Who the blazes is that?
Ned: It's me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe it's something. I don't know what your problems are, I don't know... but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?
[silence]
Oseary Drakoulias: What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?
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Ned: Stevesy, what's happenin'? Are those hijackers?
Steve: Well, we call them pirates out here, Ned. You were supposed to be on watch, by the way.
Steve: Well, we call them pirates out here, Ned. You were supposed to be on watch, by the way.
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Jane: Steve, it's way safer for us to just do what they say. They probably just want our money and jewels and shit.
Steve: Yeah. Then how am I gonna finish my movie then?
Steve: Yeah. Then how am I gonna finish my movie then?
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Bill: Do you have a vault? They want to know if there's a vault.
Steve: There's no vault.
Steve: [narrating a scene of a do****entary being watched by the pirates] Our vault contains at least ten different currencies from all over the world at any given moment, and we are prepared for every kind of financial necessity.
Steve: [seeing pirates with the vault] There goes Ned's inheritance.
Steve: There's no vault.
Steve: [narrating a scene of a do****entary being watched by the pirates] Our vault contains at least ten different currencies from all over the world at any given moment, and we are prepared for every kind of financial necessity.
Steve: [seeing pirates with the vault] There goes Ned's inheritance.
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Steve: Ned, how many fingers am I holdin' up?
Ned: I don't know. That's not my job. Too many to tell. How many fingers—
Steve: He's gonna be just fine.
Ned: I don't know. That's not my job. Too many to tell. How many fingers—
Steve: He's gonna be just fine.
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Steve: Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all.
Steve: [Klaus steps forward] Are you sure?
Klaus: Yes, I am.
Steve: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus: What do you mean? Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if—
Steve: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus: Oh. Do it again. I misunderstood.
Steve: [Klaus steps forward] Are you sure?
Klaus: Yes, I am.
Steve: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus: What do you mean? Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if—
Steve: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus: Oh. Do it again. I misunderstood.
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Steve: That was all off the record, cubbie. That whole deal. Actually, I'm surprised you didn't cross the line yourself.
Jane: What line?
Steve: The line I drew on the deck just now. You weren't up there?
Jane: No.
Steve: You're kidding. That was one of the most dramatic things that's ever happened on this boat. I just lost all my best interns. I thought you were supposed to be covering this story.
Jane: You just said it was all off the record.
Steve: Yeah, but you didn't know that.
Jane: What line?
Steve: The line I drew on the deck just now. You weren't up there?
Jane: No.
Steve: You're kidding. That was one of the most dramatic things that's ever happened on this boat. I just lost all my best interns. I thought you were supposed to be covering this story.
Jane: You just said it was all off the record.
Steve: Yeah, but you didn't know that.
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Steve: Wait a second. They stole my budget, my boat's broken, you're ditchin' me up the creek. What am I supposed to do here?
Oseary Drakoulias: Well, I must say, nothing's jumping to mind. Phillip, any suggestions? No, he's shaking his head.
Oseary Drakoulias: Well, I must say, nothing's jumping to mind. Phillip, any suggestions? No, he's shaking his head.
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Steve: [to interns] No. I can't give you full credit, but I'm not gonna flunk you either. You're all getting incompletes.
Intern: This is bullshit.
Intern: This is bullshit.
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Eleanor: Oh, shit. What do you want?
Steve: Do you mind if I butter you up a little before I answer that question?
Eleanor: Yes, I do. Tell me now.
Steve: I need some money to get the boat out of hock and rescue my bond company stooge who got kidnapped. Could we ask your parents to loan it to me?
Eleanor: No.
Steve: Okay. Could I go ahead and butter you up anyway? It took me two and a half hours to get out here.
Steve: Do you mind if I butter you up a little before I answer that question?
Eleanor: Yes, I do. Tell me now.
Steve: I need some money to get the boat out of hock and rescue my bond company stooge who got kidnapped. Could we ask your parents to loan it to me?
Eleanor: No.
Steve: Okay. Could I go ahead and butter you up anyway? It took me two and a half hours to get out here.
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Steve: You know I'm not big on apologizing. So I'll just skip it if it's all the same to you.
Eleanor: Okay.
Steve: Anyway, I'm sorry.
Eleanor: Okay.
Steve: Anyway, I'm sorry.
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Steve: You were probably right all along. We should've had a kid together. Of course... you were kind of already... on the edge of bein' too old. Unless maybe that's a cop-out.
Eleanor: It's worse than a cop-out. I was thirty-four.
Eleanor: It's worse than a cop-out. I was thirty-four.
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Steve: What are you doin' here? I thought all you interns ran out on me.
Intern: I want to help you find that shark.
Steve: Goddamn it. Thank ya, intern. You're gettin' an "A."
Intern: I want to help you find that shark.
Steve: Goddamn it. Thank ya, intern. You're gettin' an "A."
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Ned: You don't know me. You never wanted to know me. I'm just a character in your film.
Steve: It's a do****entary. It's all really happening.
Ned: Well, damn you for that.
Steve: It's a do****entary. It's all really happening.
Ned: Well, damn you for that.
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Ned: I'm gonna fight you, Steve.
[Steve hits Ned in the face]
Steve: You never say, "I'm gonna fight you, Steve." You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.
Ned : You fight your way, and I'll fight mine.
Steve: Oh, listen, Ned. Don't you try to...
[Ned hits Steve in the face]
Steve: I think your Team Zissou ring might've caught me on the lip.
[Steve hits Ned in the face]
Steve: You never say, "I'm gonna fight you, Steve." You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.
Ned : You fight your way, and I'll fight mine.
Steve: Oh, listen, Ned. Don't you try to...
[Ned hits Steve in the face]
Steve: I think your Team Zissou ring might've caught me on the lip.
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Steve: We'll split into two groups. I'll take Ned, Ogata, and Wolodarsky.
Klaus: Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.
Steve: We're in the middle of a lighning strike rescue op, Klaus. What's the deal?
Klaus: I'm sick of being on "B" squad.
Steve: You might be on "B" Squad, But you're the "B" Squad leader. Don't you know me and Esteban always thought of you as our baby brother?
Klaus: I've always thought of you two as my dads. Please don't let any one make fun of me for saying so.
Steve: I can't guarantee that, Klausie, but I'll try. Can we get on with the maneuvers now?
Klaus: Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.
Steve: We're in the middle of a lighning strike rescue op, Klaus. What's the deal?
Klaus: I'm sick of being on "B" squad.
Steve: You might be on "B" Squad, But you're the "B" Squad leader. Don't you know me and Esteban always thought of you as our baby brother?
Klaus: I've always thought of you two as my dads. Please don't let any one make fun of me for saying so.
Steve: I can't guarantee that, Klausie, but I'll try. Can we get on with the maneuvers now?
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Bill Ubell: [as Steve raises his spear gun] No. Captain. That's Cedric. He's a friend.
Steve: Merci, Cedric. Remind me, we'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.
Steve: Merci, Cedric. Remind me, we'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.
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Klaus: Thank you for putting me on the flag, Ned.
Ned: Of course, Klaus. It was my pleasure.
Klaus: Yeah, but you stitched me onto the dolphin, and I want you to know how much that means to me.
Ned: Well, I'm very pleased you liked it.
Klaus: Y-You're not listening. I didn't just like it. [Klaus salutes Ned] You understand?
Ned: Yes, I do. [Ned salutes in return] Thank you, Klaus.
Ned: Of course, Klaus. It was my pleasure.
Klaus: Yeah, but you stitched me onto the dolphin, and I want you to know how much that means to me.
Ned: Well, I'm very pleased you liked it.
Klaus: Y-You're not listening. I didn't just like it. [Klaus salutes Ned] You understand?
Ned: Yes, I do. [Ned salutes in return] Thank you, Klaus.
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Alistair: Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is — h-how did you get my espresso machine?
Bill Ubell: Well... uh... we ****in' stole it, man.
Bill Ubell: Well... uh... we ****in' stole it, man.