The Mask quotes

View Quote 50 grand. 50 grand to the man who finds that green-faced son of a bitch before the cops do. I want you to get the word out to every street hustler, to every lowlife in this town. I want him in here tomorrow, alive. You still here? Come on, let's go!

View Quote Hold me closer, Ed, it's getting dark... [coughs] Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller out... [coughs]...tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home this Christmas... [coughs]...tell Scarlett I do give a damn! (coughs on thug, a fart is heard) Pardon me... [he dies, an audience appears and gives the Mask a standing ovation while The Mask is handed Oscar acting award] Thank you! You love me! You really love me!

View Quote Now you have to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" WELL, DO YA... PUNKS?!

View Quote Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny.

View Quote Alley Punk: Hey, mister! You got the time?
The Mask: As a matter of fact I do, Cubby. [pulls a watch out of his pocket] Look at that! It's exactly two seconds before I honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head! [A strong tick is heard, Mask honks punk's nose and pulls his underwear over his head]

View Quote Bobby: Uh, are you on the list?
The Mask: Nooooo. But I believe my friends are. Perhaps you know them. [He takes fistfuls of high denomination cash out of his pocket] Franklin, Grant, and... Jackson?

View Quote Dorian Tyrell: SON OF A BITCH!![throws the cigarette lighter over the glass window; to Eddie] Eddie, who did this, man?! WHO!!?
Eddie: [pointing to The Mask] Him! Him! Look ,that's — that's the guy!
Dorian Tyrell: That guy dancin' with Tina? He's dead meat. Come on!

View Quote Dorian Tyrell: Okay, Twinkle-Toes, I want to know where my money is and I want to know right now!
The Mask: Okay. [puts on a green eyeshade and pulls out an accounting machine] You've got 17.5% in T-bills amortized over the fiscal year. 8% in stocks and bonds. Carry the nine, divide by the gross national product. Fortunately, funeral bouquets are deductible!
Dorian Tyrell: [to Orlando] Ice this deadbeat!
Orlando: [begins shooting, which the mask easily dodges]
Dorian Tyrell: Shoot him!
The Mask: [turns into a matador] Toro! [turns into a cossack] Oy!Oy!Oy!Oy! [turns into Elvis] Thank you very much. Huh! Huh! [turns into a cowboy, who draws before his gun is shot out of his hand. A squish is heard] Ugh, ya got me partner.

View Quote Dorian Tyrell: I'm gonna take you apart! [he punches Stanley]
Stanley Ipkiss: Well, I hope you can enjoy the victory with one friggin' eye! [he pokes Dorian in the eye and punches him across the face]

View Quote Doyle: Aw, come on, Lieutenant. It's not all your fault. Something would turn up.
Kellaway: Sure, Stanley Ipkiss is gonna fall right into my lap. [falls when Stanley falls on him, then tears the tape off Stanley's mouth]
Stanley Ipkiss: OW!
Kellaway: Ipkiss!
Stanley Ipkiss: Wait, I can explain everything!
Kellaway: Oh, yeah? You can explain everything? [finds a green rubber mask] Explain this.
Stanley Ipkiss: Um...
Kellaway: Get him up!

View Quote Driver: Hey, get out of the road!
The Mask: I think he wants to communicate! [The Mask holds up a tiny horn that says "Squeeze me gently". He does so, blowing it at the driver. The horn unleashes a deafeningly-loud "AH-OOOOOOOOOOO-GAH!" and explodes the car's windows with its volume. The horn turns into it's normal size and the Mask blows on the end like a gun, dusts himself and leaves.]

View Quote Kellaway: Freeze! [The Mask literally freezes] Put your hands up!
The Mask: [with teeth clenched] But you told me to freeze!
Kellaway: All right, all right, un-freeze. [The Mask defrosts and falls to the ground] You're under arrest.
The Mask: [Desperate voice] No! It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man! [gets up, in normal voice] All right, I confess! I did it, ya hear? And I'm glad, glad I tell ya! [begs on the ground] What are they gonna do to me, Sarge? What are they gonna do?!
Kellaway: [slaps handcuffs on The Mask] Sorry, son, that's not my department. Search him! [The Mask is pulled up and his [endless] pockets are searched]
The Mask: Ow! Where's a camcorder when ya need one? [snorty laugh]

View Quote Mr. Dickey: Ipkiss, we have a crisis on our hands here and you stroll in over an hour late? If I have to put up with your slovenly behavior...
Stanley: BACK OFF, Monkey Boy, before I tell your daddy you're running this place like it's your own personal piggy bank. Or maybe we should call the IRS, and see if we can arrange a little vacation for you at Club FED!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Dickey:[shocked from being told off by his employee] That'll be all, Ipkiss.

View Quote Orlando: [delivering Stanley] Hey, boss. Look who decide to crash the party.
Stanley: Hey, Dorian. How's it going?
Dorian Tyrell: Bring him up here!
Tina: Dorian, wait. No!
Dorian: Ugh, there's no time for last request.
Tina: But all I wanted was a kiss.
Dorian: A kiss?
Tina: Just one last kiss?
Eddie: Dorian, I can't shut this thing off.
Dorian Tyrell: There is always time for one last kiss!
[Prepares to kiss Tina demonically]
Tina: No. I want it to be with the real Dorian. The one I used to love. No one's ever kissed me like Dorian Tyrell.
Eddie: [shouting] Romeo, this whole place is gonna blow any minute!
Dorian Tyrell: [yells; eyes glow red] JUST WAIT!...I've decided...[Dorian removes mask and reverts to his human self] to give her one last thrill.
[Dorian and Tina kiss passionately. Tina takes advantage of distraction to kick mask towards Stanley]

View Quote [Dorian has just donned the Mask]
Dorian Tyrell: What a rush!
Eddie: Whoa, boss! You OK?
Dorian Tyrell: Better than ever, you idiot.
Eddie: What do we do with Ipkiss?
Dorian Tyrell: The police are looking for The Mask. So we'll give them The Mask. (He laughs evilly)