The Mask quotes
45 total quotesCharlie Schumaker
Dorian Tyrell
Peggy Brandt
Stanley Ipkiss/The Mask
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[Kellaway and Doyle attempt a 2nd arrest on Stanley; bumps into Mayor Tilton]
Kellaway: Watch it, chunky! [Realizes] Mayor Tilton, I'm so....
Mayor Tilton: What the hell's going on, Kellaway?
Kellaway: That guy is the Mask.
Mayor Tilton: No, Dorian Tyrell was the Mask. I saw it with my own eyes. This young man just saved our lives.
Charlie: With a little help from his friends.
Kellaway: Watch it, chunky! [Realizes] Mayor Tilton, I'm so....
Mayor Tilton: What the hell's going on, Kellaway?
Kellaway: That guy is the Mask.
Mayor Tilton: No, Dorian Tyrell was the Mask. I saw it with my own eyes. This young man just saved our lives.
Charlie: With a little help from his friends.
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[The Mask is being searched by the police]
Doyle: Really big sunglasses...
Park Policeman: Bike horn...
Doyle: Small mouth bass...
Park Policeman: Bowling pin...
Doyle: [yelps in pain] Mouse trap...
Park Policeman: Rubber chicken...
The Mask: A little to the left... that's it.
Doyle: [squeezes a stress reliever toy a few times] Mmmm, I don't know... funny eyeball glasses?
The Mask: I've never seen those before in my life.
Park Policeman: Bazooka?
The Mask: I have a permit for that.
Doyle: Picture of Kellaway's wife...
Kellaway: What?!
The Mask: Uh oh...
Kellaway: [snatches the photo from Doyle] MARGARET! YOU SON OF A...!
The Mask: Jeez, I figured you had a sense of humor. After all... YOU MARRIED HER!!!
[Kellaway screams angrily; The Mask rapidly slaps the sides of his and his partner's faces.]
The Mask: That's gotta hurt! [makes weird sound then whizzes off.]
Kellaway: GET HIM! [discovers he's now handcuffed to Doyle.] Doyle?
Doyle: Really big sunglasses...
Park Policeman: Bike horn...
Doyle: Small mouth bass...
Park Policeman: Bowling pin...
Doyle: [yelps in pain] Mouse trap...
Park Policeman: Rubber chicken...
The Mask: A little to the left... that's it.
Doyle: [squeezes a stress reliever toy a few times] Mmmm, I don't know... funny eyeball glasses?
The Mask: I've never seen those before in my life.
Park Policeman: Bazooka?
The Mask: I have a permit for that.
Doyle: Picture of Kellaway's wife...
Kellaway: What?!
The Mask: Uh oh...
Kellaway: [snatches the photo from Doyle] MARGARET! YOU SON OF A...!
The Mask: Jeez, I figured you had a sense of humor. After all... YOU MARRIED HER!!!
[Kellaway screams angrily; The Mask rapidly slaps the sides of his and his partner's faces.]
The Mask: That's gotta hurt! [makes weird sound then whizzes off.]
Kellaway: GET HIM! [discovers he's now handcuffed to Doyle.] Doyle?
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It's party time! P-A-R-T-whY? Because I gotta!
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Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssmokin!
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Sssomebody stop me!
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THAT'S A SPICY MEATBALL!!!
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[acting as a balloon salesman to a group of thugs] Step right up here! Don't be shy! Nobody likes a bashful leather head! [Pause] MOVE IT! [the thugs approach him] For my first trick...I'll do something for you, son. [makes a giraffe-shaped balloon] We have a giraffe. [Offers it to a thug] There you go, son. Now get out of here. You bother me. Now...[pulls out what appears to be a used condom] Sorry, wrong pocket. For you, son. Little body English. [makes a poodle-shaped balloon] A French poodle. [Rips it apart before the thug can take it] Sorry, son. The dog was rabid. Had to put her down. And, last but not least, my favorite. [makes a gun-shaped balloon, which transforms into a rather rubbery submachine gun. He aims it at the thugs] A Tommy gun!! [as the thugs run away. the Mask shoots at them while laughing manically]
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[After robbing the bank, to Dorian's henchmen] Sorry, fellas. Waste not, want not.
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[sees Tina enter; to Stanley] Hold the phone. Killer at ten o'clock.
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After being flattened onto the road
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After defeating Dorian, with an Eddie G. Robinson voice
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Did you miss me? I GUESS NOT!
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Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town ? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood !
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Dodging bullets with an Elvis Presley voice
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Hold on, sugar! Daddy's got a sweet tooth tonight!