Mean Girls quotes

View Quote Cady: [describing Regina] She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.
Janis: I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.

View Quote Cady: [voiceover] Finally, Girl World was at peace.
Damian: Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.
Cady: [voiceover] And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace, well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it.
[Imagines Junior Plastics being hit by a bus]
Cady: [voiceover] Just kidding.

View Quote Cady: [voiceover] Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit... no, wait a minute...
Regina: [bursting in] What is this?!
Cady: [voiceover] Actual vomit.

View Quote Chip Heron: Hey, how was school?
Cady: Fine.
Betsy Heron: Were people nice?
Cady: No.
Chip Heron: Did you make any friends?
Cady: Yes.

View Quote Chip Heron: This is your lunch, OK? I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk; you can ask one of the big kids where to do that.
Betsy Heron: Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you just in case. Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. OK? You ready?
Cady: I think so.

View Quote Crying Girl: [reading from paper] I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...
[about to cry]
Damian: [shouting from back] She doesn't even go here!
Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school?
Crying Girl: No... I just have a lot of feelings...

View Quote Damian: Oh, my God! I love this song!
Janis: I hate this song.
Cady: I know this song!

View Quote Damian: [delivering candy canes] Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And, uh... "Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?
Cady: It's Cady.
Damian: Oh, Cady, here you go, one for you... and none for Gretchen Wieners, bye.

View Quote Damian: [reading Cady's class schedule] Health, Spanish... you're taking 12th Grade Calculus?
Cady: Yeah, I like math.
Damian: Ew.. why?
Cady: Because it's the same in every country.
Damian: That's beautiful. This girl is deep.

View Quote Damian: [reading the entry on himself from the Burn Book] "Too gay to function?"
Janis: That's only okay when I say it!

View Quote Damian: [to Cady] You can't join Mathletes, it's social suicide!
Ms. Norbury: Thanks, Damian.

View Quote Dawn Schweitzer: [reading pages from burn book] "Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass." Who would write that?
Other Jock Girl: Who wouldn't write that?

View Quote Gretchen: Oh my God, there's Jason! *gasp* And he's with Taylor Wedell!
Karen: I heard they're going out.
Regina: Wait, Jason's not going out with Taylor...no, he cannot blow you off like that. He is such a little skeaze. Give me your phone.
Gretchen: You're not going to call him, right?
Regina: Do you think I'm an idiot?
Regina: [dials phone] Wedell on South Boulevard.
Gretchen: Caller ID!
Regina: Not when you connect from information.
Taylor's Mom: Hello?
Regina: Hi, may I please speak to Taylor Wedell?
Taylor's Mom: She's not in right now, whose calling?
Regina: Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results, if you could have her give me a call as soon as she can, it's urgent, thank you. [Taylor's mom faints] She's not going out with anyone.
Gretchen: Okay, that was so fetch.

View Quote Gretchen: Regina, we have to talk to you.
Regina: Is butter a carb?
Cady: Yes.
Gretchen: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.
Regina: So...?
Karen: So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.
Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!
Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!
Gretchen: You can't sit with us!
Regina: [pause] These sweatpants are all that fit me right now.
Regina: [after being ignored] Fine. You can walk home, bitches!

View Quote Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!