Mulan quotes

View Quote Matchmaker: "Fa Mulan."
Mulan: Present!
Matchmaker: [to herself, writing on clipboard] Speaking without permission...
Mulan: Oops.
Grandmother: Who spit in her bean curd?

View Quote Mulan: [to Shang] Would you like to stay for dinner?
Grandmother: Would you like to stay forever?

View Quote Mulan: Father, you can't go!
Fa Zhou: Mulan...
Mulan: Please, sir, my father has already fought bravely, and...
Chi Fu: Silence! You would do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue in a man's presence.
Fa Zhou: Mulan, you dishonor me.

View Quote Mulan: I never want to see a naked man again.
[several naked men suddenly run past]
Mushu: Hey, don't look at me, I ain't bitin' no more butts.

View Quote Mulan: Okay, any questions?
Yao: Does this dress make me look fat? [gets slapped] Ow!

View Quote Mulan: Um...Pardon me....
Matchmaker: And silent! [inhales the teacup]
Mulan: [begins to climb on table, reaching for the teacup] Could I just.....take that back? One moment......[they both begin tugging on the teacup, causing it to spill, and Crikee to jump inside the Matchmaker's dress]
Matchmaker: Why, you clumsy...![she begins to leap around the room, due to Crikee in her dress. She knocks over the furnace, accidently sits on the coals, and begins jumping around even more. Mulan attempts to help by fanning her behind, causing it to burst into flame. The Matchmaker screams and falls on the table, breaking it.]
Grandmother Fa: ( to Fa Li)I think it's going well. Don't you?
Matchmaker: [bursts out of front door, her butt still on fire] Put it out! Put it out! Put it out!!

View Quote Mulan: Who am I fooling? It's going to take a miracle to get me into the army.
Mushu: Did I hear someone ask for a miracle! Lemme hear you say "ahhh"!
Mulan: [screams] Aaaggh!
Mushu: That's close enough.
Mulan: A ghost!
Mushu: Get ready, Mulan, your serpentine salvation is at hand, for I have been sent by your ancestors...[Crikee does an imitation of Mushuu, and Mushuu kicks him down] to guide you through your masquerade! [hands Crikee a leaf to fan the flames] C'mon, you gonna stay, you gonna work with me. So heed my word, 'cause if the army finds out you're a girl, the penalty is death!
Mulan: Who are you?
Mushu: Who am I? Who am I?! I am the guardian of lost souls! I am the powerful, the pleasurable, [ he appears to her in his true form] the indestructible Mushu! I'm pretty hot, huh?! [Khan steps on Mushu]
Mulan: Uh, my ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?
Mushu: Hey, dragon. Dragon, not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing. [hisses]
Mulan: You're...
Mushu: Intimidating? Awe-inspiring?
Mulan: Tiny.
Mushu: Of course, I'm travel size for your convenience. If I was my real size, your cow here would die of fright. [Khan tries to bite him] Down, Bessie!

View Quote Mushu: I live!! Now, tell me, Great Ancestor - what mortal needs my protection? You just say the word, and I'm there! Anybody who's foolish enough to threaten our family? Vengeance will be mine!!! Grrr...
Great Ancestor: Mushu! These are the family guardians. They...
Mushu: ... Protect the family.
Great Ancestor: And you, o demoted one?
Mushu: I... ring the gong.
Great Ancestor: That's right. Now, wake up the ancestors.
Mushu: One family reunion coming right up. Okay, people, people look alive! Let's go, get up, rise and shine. Y'all way past the beauty sleep thing, trust me.

View Quote Mushu: Alright, rise and shine sleeping beauty. Time to get up. C'mon up, up, up. Get your clothes on; get ready. I've got breakfast for ya. Look you get porridge, and it's happy to see you.
(Crikee appears in the middle of the bowl)
Mushu: [picks Crikee out of the bowl] Hey, get outta there! You gon' make people sick!!
Mulan: Am I late?
Mushu: No time to talk. Now, remember: it's your first day of training. Listen to your teacher, and no fighting. Play nice with the other kids - unless the other kids want to fight, then you have to kick the other kid's butt.
Mulan: [chewing] But I don't want to kick the other kid's butt.
Mushu: Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face... [Mulan has a blank face] Ooh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C'mon, scare me, girl! [Mulan growls at him] Yeah, that's my tough-looking warrior! That's what I'm talkin' about. Now get out there and make me proud!

View Quote Mushu: Call out for egg rolls!
Great Ancestor: Guardians...

View Quote Mushu: Citizens, I need firepower.
Fireworks people: Aargh! Who are you?
Mushu: Your worst nightmare.

View Quote Mushu: Hi.
Mulan: I should never have left home.
Mushu: Hey, c'mon you did it to save your father. Who knew you'd end up shaming him and disgracing your ancestors and losing all your friends...

View Quote Shan Yu: [to Shang] You, you took away my victory!
Mulan: No, I did.

View Quote Shan Yu: I tire of your arrogance, old man. Bow to me!
Emperor: No matter how the wind howls, the mountain can not bow to it.

View Quote Shang: I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp.
Mulan: Sorry. [ in manly voice] Uh, I mean, uh, sorry you had to see that, but you know how it is, when you get those manly urges! And you just got to kill something! Hm... Fix things, cook outdoors--
Shang: What's your name?
Mulan: Uh... I, uh... I...
Chi Fu: Your commanding officer just asked you a question!
Mulan: Uh, I've got a name. Ha! And it's a boy's name, too.
Mushu: [whispers] Ling. How about Ling?
Mulan: [to Mushu, quietly and nodding in Ling's direction] His name is Ling.
Shang: I didn't ask for his name, I asked for yours.
Mushu: Try, uh, uh, ah, Chu.
Mulan: Ah Chu.
Shang: Ah Chu?
Mushu: Gesundheit. Ha, ha. I kill myself.
Mulan: Mushu!
Shang: Mushu?
Mulan: No!
Shang: Then what is it!
Mushu: Ping! Ping was my best friend growin' up.
Mulan: It's Ping.
Shang: Ping?
Mushu: Of course, Ping did steal my gir--
Mulan: [silencing Mushu] Yes. My name is Ping.
Shang: Let me see your conscription notice. Fa Zhou... the Fa Zhou?
Chi Fu: I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.
Mulan: Uh, he doesn't talk about me much. [Attempts to spit, but it ends up dangling from her mouth.]
Chi Fu: I can see why. The boy's an absolute lunatic!