Mystery Men quotes
131 total quotesThe Bowler
The Shoveler
The Sphinx
The Spleen
The Blue Raja
View Quote
[The Heroes Talk about Hero Recruits]
Blue Raja: Well, there's The Sphinx.
Mr. Furious: Who?
Blue Raja: The Sphinx.
The Shoveler: Yeah, I've heard of this guy. He's a big crime-fighter down east.
Mr. Furious: What's his power?
Blue Raja: Well, he's terribly mysterious.
Mr. Furious: That's it? That's his power, he's mysterious?
Blue Raja: He's TERRIBLY mysterious, actually.
The Shoveler: Yeah, plus he can cut guns in half with his mind.
Blue Raja: Really? I hadn't heard that.
Blue Raja: Well, there's The Sphinx.
Mr. Furious: Who?
Blue Raja: The Sphinx.
The Shoveler: Yeah, I've heard of this guy. He's a big crime-fighter down east.
Mr. Furious: What's his power?
Blue Raja: Well, he's terribly mysterious.
Mr. Furious: That's it? That's his power, he's mysterious?
Blue Raja: He's TERRIBLY mysterious, actually.
The Shoveler: Yeah, plus he can cut guns in half with his mind.
Blue Raja: Really? I hadn't heard that.
View Quote
[The other heroes try to help Mr. Furious regain his anger-feuled super powers.]
Shoveler: Come on, somebody do something! We need him!
Bowler: Okay, let's do this. You're a very furious man. Do you understand that?
Mr. Furious: No.
Bowler: No? Well, you've got a lot to be furious about, and I'll tell you why. You're - not well-liked. You're, uh, abrasive and off-putting. You try to say pithy things, but your wit is a hindrance... so therefore nothing is provacative, it's just mixed metaphors. Now doesn't that make you angry? Does it infuriate you?
Mr. Furious: No.
Bowler: Well, it should! Are you angry? Come ON, man!
Shoveler: Your penmanship is atrocious!
Sphinx: You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.
Shoveler: Come on, somebody do something! We need him!
Bowler: Okay, let's do this. You're a very furious man. Do you understand that?
Mr. Furious: No.
Bowler: No? Well, you've got a lot to be furious about, and I'll tell you why. You're - not well-liked. You're, uh, abrasive and off-putting. You try to say pithy things, but your wit is a hindrance... so therefore nothing is provacative, it's just mixed metaphors. Now doesn't that make you angry? Does it infuriate you?
Mr. Furious: No.
Bowler: Well, it should! Are you angry? Come ON, man!
Shoveler: Your penmanship is atrocious!
Sphinx: You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.
View Quote
[The Shoveler's wife finds superhero tryouts being conducted in her back yard]
Lucille: Oh, I don't deserve this!
Shoveler: I know.
Lucille: A lot of other men I could have married, Eddie. Still are.
Shoveler: I understand.
Lucille: If one person vomits in my pool, I'm divorcing you.
Shoveler: That's fair.
Lucille: Mm-hmm. Come on, kids!
Lucille: Oh, I don't deserve this!
Shoveler: I know.
Lucille: A lot of other men I could have married, Eddie. Still are.
Shoveler: I understand.
Lucille: If one person vomits in my pool, I'm divorcing you.
Shoveler: That's fair.
Lucille: Mm-hmm. Come on, kids!
View Quote
[When Mr. Furious suggests they employ a publicist]
The Shoveler: What are we gonna publicise, Roy? The fact that we get our butts kicked? A lot?
Mr. Furious: [Annoyed] Well, maybe if you didn't smack me in the face with a shovel every time we went out, we'd have a few more victories to brag about.
Shoveler: All right now, I'm sorry about that. I just have a tendency to lose my concentration when I've got a salad fork stuck in my rear end.
Blue Raja: Oh, oh — I get it! So your shovel in his face is my fault?
Shoveler: You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff.
Mr. Furious: Yeah, what was up with that?
Blue Raja: I-I, I'm embarrassed about that. I thought it was a fork.
Shoveler: You're the master of cutlery. You couldn't throw a knife sometimes when someone's trying to kill me?
Blue Raja: No, I can't! You couldn't, ah, use a rake sometimes?
Shoveler: No. I'm the Shoveler.
Blue Raja: Well, I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man, I'm not Knifey Boy — I'm the Blue Raja.
Mr. Furious: Yeah, that's another thing.
Blue Raja: [Defensive] What?
Mr. Furious: Well, you could work a little blue into the uniform somewhere. I mean you've got green, you've got this little flowery thing going on, but it's like everything but blue.
Blue Raja: Well, if we could just step out of our literal minds, just for a moment.
The Shoveler: What are we gonna publicise, Roy? The fact that we get our butts kicked? A lot?
Mr. Furious: [Annoyed] Well, maybe if you didn't smack me in the face with a shovel every time we went out, we'd have a few more victories to brag about.
Shoveler: All right now, I'm sorry about that. I just have a tendency to lose my concentration when I've got a salad fork stuck in my rear end.
Blue Raja: Oh, oh — I get it! So your shovel in his face is my fault?
Shoveler: You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff.
Mr. Furious: Yeah, what was up with that?
Blue Raja: I-I, I'm embarrassed about that. I thought it was a fork.
Shoveler: You're the master of cutlery. You couldn't throw a knife sometimes when someone's trying to kill me?
Blue Raja: No, I can't! You couldn't, ah, use a rake sometimes?
Shoveler: No. I'm the Shoveler.
Blue Raja: Well, I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man, I'm not Knifey Boy — I'm the Blue Raja.
Mr. Furious: Yeah, that's another thing.
Blue Raja: [Defensive] What?
Mr. Furious: Well, you could work a little blue into the uniform somewhere. I mean you've got green, you've got this little flowery thing going on, but it's like everything but blue.
Blue Raja: Well, if we could just step out of our literal minds, just for a moment.
View Quote
[When the Spleen is playing around in Heller's laboratory]
The Shoveler: You're gonna kill someone with that.
Dr. Heller: No, no, no - you see, everything here is non-lethal.
The Shoveler: Non-lethal? What?
Dr. Heller: I don't make weapons that kill.
The Bowler: Oh, I see. How delightfully eccentric of you. Whilst simultaneously being a complete waste of our time.
The Shoveler: You're gonna kill someone with that.
Dr. Heller: No, no, no - you see, everything here is non-lethal.
The Shoveler: Non-lethal? What?
Dr. Heller: I don't make weapons that kill.
The Bowler: Oh, I see. How delightfully eccentric of you. Whilst simultaneously being a complete waste of our time.
View Quote
[After avenging her father's murder]
"Now I'm going back to Graduate School. That was the agreement."
"Now I'm going back to Graduate School. That was the agreement."
View Quote
[Bestowing precious cutlery to her son, having discovered his true identity]
"These belonged to your great-great grandmother. I was saving them for your wedding day, but from the looks of it, that day... it's probably a long way off." ~ Blue Raja's mother
"These belonged to your great-great grandmother. I was saving them for your wedding day, but from the looks of it, that day... it's probably a long way off." ~ Blue Raja's mother
View Quote
[When asked by a reporter what his name and power is] "Hi, my name's Roy, and I'm in a super amount of pain right now."
View Quote
Guys, are you coming? Are you--great. Okay, fine.I guess tonight the lone wolf hunts alone.[hurts his crotch while trying to start up his motorcycle] Ow..testicles rising..can't breathe...can't breathe.
View Quote
Let's go see what's shaking at the chez casa Casanova.
View Quote
Sweet dreams, lilac.