The Princess Bride quotes

View Quote Grandson: He'll pinch my cheek. I hate that.

View Quote Grandson: Hold it, hold it! What is this? Are you tryin' to trick me? Where's the sports? Is this a kissing book?

View Quote Impressive Clergyman: Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove…Have you the wing?

View Quote Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

View Quote Old Woman: Your true love lives and you marry another — True love saved her in the Fire Swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the Queen of Refuse! So, bow down to her if you want. Bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo!

View Quote Valerie: Chocolate coating makes it go down easier.

View Quote Buttercup: [eyeing the Fire Swamp nervously] We'll never survive!
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

View Quote Buttercup: I know who you are. Your cruelty reveals everything! You're the Dread Pirate Roberts; admit it!
Man in Black: [bows] With pride! What can I do for you?
Buttercup: You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces.
Man in Black: [shakes his head] Hardly complimentary, Your Highness. Why loose your venom on me?
Buttercup: You killed my love.
Man in Black: It's possible; I kill a lot of people. Who was this love of yours? Another Prince, like this one, ugly, rich, and scabby? [sits down nearby]
Buttercup: No. A farm boy. [gazing off into space in remembrance] Poor. Poor and perfect, with eyes like the sea after a storm. [pauses briefly, then focuses back on the Man in Black] On the high seas, your ship attacked, and the Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners.
Man in Black: [leaning back leisurely against a rock] I can't afford to make exceptions. Once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you, and then it's nothing but work, work, work, all the time.
Buttercup: You mock my pain!
Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something. [gets up and wanders around near Buttercup] I remember this farm boy of yours, I think. This would be, what, five years ago? Does it bother you to hear?
Buttercup: [not looking at the Man in Black] Nothing you can say will upset me.
Man in Black: He died well, that should please you. No bribe attempts or blubbering. He simply said, "Please. Please, I need to live." It was the "please" that caught my memory. I asked him what was so important for him. "True love," he replied. And then he spoke of a girl of surpassing beauty and faithfulness. I can only assume he meant you. You should bless me for destroying him before he found out what you really are.
Buttercup: And what am I?
Man in Black: Faithfulness he talked of, madam, your enduring faithfulness! Now, tell me truly. When you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your prince that same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?
Buttercup: [standing up, more indignant than before] You mocked me once, never do it again! I died that day!
[The Man in Black turns to see Humperdinck's hunting party riding past on the hill above them.]
Buttercup: And you can die too for all I care! [pushes him down the hill]
Man in Black: [tumbling down the hill] Aaaass yooooouuu wiiiiish!
Buttercup: [shocked] Oh, my sweet Westley, what have I done? [jumps down the hill after him]

View Quote Buttercup: If you'll release me ... whatever you ask for ransom, you'll get it, I promise you...
Man in Black: And what is that worth, the promise of a woman? You're very funny, Highness.
Buttercup: I was giving you a chance! It does not matter where you take me. There's no greater hunter than Prince Humperdinck. He could track a falcon on a cloudy day. He can find you.
Man in Black: You think your dearest love will save you?
Buttercup: I never said he was my dearest love! And yes, he will save me. That I know.
Man in Black: You admit to me you do not love your fiance?
Buttercup: He knows I do not love him.
Man in Black: "Are not capable of love" is what you mean.
Buttercup: [indignant] I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream!
[The Man In Black ****s his hand back, ready to slap Buttercup. She flinches.]
Man in Black: That was a warning, Highness. The next time, my hand flies on its own. Where I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies.

View Quote Buttercup: Oh, Westley, will you ever forgive me?
Westley: What hideous sin have you committed lately?
Buttercup: I got married. I didn't want to. It all happened so fast.
Westley: It never happened.
Buttercup: What?
Westley: It never happened.
Buttercup: But it did. I was there. This old man said, "Man and wife."
Westley: Did you say, "I do"?
Buttercup: [confused] No. We sort of skipped that part.
Westley: Then you're not married. If you didn't say it, you didn't do it.

View Quote Count Rugen: Are you coming down into the Pit? Westley's got his strength back. I am starting him on The Machine tonight.
Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But, I've got my country's five hundredth anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped.
Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.

View Quote Fezzik: Inigo! Inigo! Where are you? [Inigo appears at the window] Ah, there you are. Inigo, I saw the Prince's stables, and there they were, four white horses. And I thought, there are four of us, if we ever find the lady. [Buttercup appears at the window] Hello, lady! So I took them with me, in case we ever bumped into each other. I guess we just did.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, you did something right.
Fezzik: Don't worry. I won't let it go to my head.

View Quote Fezzik: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
Man in Black: Oh no. It's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

View Quote Grandfather: They rode to freedom. And as dawn arose, Westley and Buttercup knew they were safe. A wave of love swept over them. And as they reached for each other... [closes the book]
Grandson: What? What?
Grandfather: Nah, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear it.
Granson: I don't mind so much.
Grandfather: Okay. [opens the book again] Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. [closes the book] The End.

View Quote Grandson: Grandpa... maybe you could come back and read it to me again tomorrow?
Grandfather: As you wish.