The Princess Bride quotes

View Quote Grandson: Has it got any sports in it?
Grandfather: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles!
Grandson: Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try and stay awake.
Grandfather: [sarcastically] Oh, well, thank you. That's very kind of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.

View Quote Inigo Montoya: Hello there. [The Man In Black glances up and grunts] Slow going?
Man in Black: Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks. So I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.
Inigo Montoya: Sorry.
Man in Black: Thank you.
[A moment passes. Inigo returns to the edge.]
Inigo Montoya: I do not suppose you could speed things up?
Man in Black: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch, or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I've got some rope up here. But I do not think that you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Man in Black: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo Montoya: But I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
Man in Black: That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
Inigo Montoya: I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
Man in Black: No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
Inigo Montoya: Is there any way you'll trust me?
Man in Black: Nothing comes to mind.
Inigo Montoya: [seriously] I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
Man in Black: [pauses] Throw me the rope.

View Quote Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Man in Black: Do you always begin conversations this way?
Inigo Montoya: My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man.
[The Man in Black holds up his hand, revealing only five fingers.]
Inigo Montoya: He was a great swordmaker, my father. And when the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done. [unsheaths his sword and hands it to the Man in Black]
Man in Black: [examines the sword with admiration] I have never seen its equal. [hands it back to Inigo]
Inigo Montoya: The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father, so naturally, I challenged his murderer to a duel. I failed. Six-fingered man leave me alive, but he gave me this. [points to a scar on first one cheek, then the other]
Man in Black: How old were you?
Inigo Montoya: I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Man in Black: You've done nothing but study swordplay?
Inigo Montoya: More pursuit than study lately. You see, I cannot find him. It's been twenty years now. I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
Man in Black: [standing up after a pause in the conversation] Well, I certainly hope you find him someday.
Inigo Montoya: You are ready, then?
Man in Black: Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.
Inigo Montoya: [assumes fighting stance] You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Man in Black: [also assumes fighting stance] You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Inigo Montoya: [enthusiastically] Begin!

View Quote Inigo Montoya: You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, eh?
Man in Black: I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain.
Inigo Montoya: Naturally you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro.
Man in Black: Naturally. But I find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don't you?
Inigo Montoya: [pushes the Man in Black off a shelf onto lower ground] Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa, which I have! [jumps and flips over the Man in Black]

View Quote Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful!
Man in Black: Thank you. I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it. You are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I am not left-handed! [switches to fighting with his right hand]
[The two continue to fight, until the Man in Black is backed against the cliff edge]
Man in Black: You're amazing!
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after twenty years.
Man in Black: There's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Man in Black: I'm not left-handed either. [switches his sword to his right hand]

View Quote Inigo Montoya: You know, it's very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long. Now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.
Westley: Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.

View Quote Inigo: What is that you're ripping?
Vizzini: It's fabric from the uniform of an Army officer of Guilder.
Fezzik: Who's Guilder?
Vizzini: The country across the sea. The sworn enemy of Florin. [slaps the horse's rump] Go! Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the Prince suspect the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed.
Fezzik: You never said anything about killing anyone.
Vizzini: I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition.
Fezzik: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.
Vizzini: Am I going mad or did the word "think" escape your lips!? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass!
Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik.
Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken! What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her! And remember this. Never forget this! [to Inigo] When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk you couldn't buy brandy! [to Fezzik] And you! Friendless. Brainless. Helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed? In Greenland!?

View Quote Miracle Max: See, there's a big difference between mostly dead, and all dead. Now, mostly dead: he's slightly alive. All dead, well, with all dead, there's usually only one thing that you can do.
Inigo: What's that?
Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

View Quote Miracle Max: You got any money?
Inigo: Sixty-five.
Miracle Max: Seesh. I never worked for so little. Except once, and that was a very noble cause.
Inigo: This is noble, sir. His wife is... crippled. His children are on the brink of starvation.
Miracle Max: [flatly] Are you a rotten liar.
Inigo: I need him to help avenge my father. Murdered these 20 years.
Miracle Max: Your first story was better.

View Quote Prince Humperdinck: For the last time, surrender!
Westley: Death first!!
Buttercup: [to the Prince] Do you promise not to hurt him?
Prince Humperdinck and Westley: What was that?

View Quote Vizzini: Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the Princess, and must therefore die. [to Fezzik, pointing to Buttercup] You, carry her. [to Inigo] We'll head straight for the Guilder frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword.
Inigo Montoya: I want to duel him left-handed.
Vizzini: You know what a hurry we're in!
Inigo Montoya: Well, it's the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right — tch — over too quickly.
Vizzini: Oh, have it your way.
Fezzik: You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.

View Quote Westley: [entering the fire swamp] It's not that bad.
[Buttercup stares at him incredulously.]
Westley: I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.

View Quote Westley: Hear this now, I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love. You think this happens every day?

View Quote Westley: Where am I?
Albino: [whispering harshly] THE PIT OF DESPAIR! DON'T EVEN THINK— [clears his throat and proceeds in a normal voice.] Don't even think about trying to escape.

View Quote [A rock smashes into a boulder just in front of the Man in Black]
Fezzik: [steps out from a set of boulders holding another rock] I did that on purpose. I don't have to miss.
Man in Black: I believe you. So what happens now?
Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
Man in Black: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people?
Fezzik: [holds up his rock] I could kill you now.
Man in Black: Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
Fezzik: It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.