Real Genius quotes

View Quote Mitch: [As the voice of Jesus] Hi Kent. Have you been touching yourself?
Kent: Yes. I mean, NO!

View Quote Mrs. Taylor: Dr. Hathaway, I saw your program on radioactive isotopes last night, and I've got a question.
Jerry Hathaway: Yes?
Mrs. Taylor: Is that your real hair?
Jerry Hathaway: Tell me something. Is Mitch by any chance adopted?
Mrs. Taylor: Why, no!
Jerry Hathaway: Amazing.
Mrs. Taylor: Isn't it?

View Quote Old Lady: Tell me, what is Mr. Einstein really like?
Professor Hathaway: Dead.

View Quote Prof. Hathaway: I want to see more of you around the lab.
Chris Knight: Fine. I'll gain weight.
Jerry Hathaway: You're a very funny boy, Chris.
Chris Knight: Thanks, Jerry. We try.

View Quote Prof. Hathaway: You still run?
Chris Knight: Only when chased.

View Quote Professor Hathaway: Bodie, I noticed you stopped stuttering.
Bodie: I've been giving myself shock treatments.
Professor Hathaway: Up the voltage.

View Quote Professor Hathaway: Mitch, will you miss your friends?
Mitch: Well, no. I think I intimidate other kids.
Professor Hathaway: Good boy.

View Quote Professor Hathaway: You know, when I first brought you into this school I thought you'd become another Einstein. And you were well on your way. And then?
Chris Knight: I got a haircut.
Professor Hathaway: You're disappointing me, Chris.
Chris Knight: And you, me Jerry.

View Quote [Chris is holding a lab beaker with pink liquid in it]
Chris Knight: Here Mitch taste this for me. Come on, you won't hurt my feelings... What, too sweet?
Mitch: No... what is it?
Chris Knight: I don't know, I found it in one of the labs.
[Mitch starts to gag and wipe out his mouth]
Chris Knight: I'm just kidding. It's yogurt. See? Mmmmm...

View Quote [In the men's room]
Jordan: Hi, good morning, I thought I saw you come in here, you must be an earlier riser, we met last night, I'm Jordan, remember? I made you a sweater.
Mitch: Last night?
Jordan: Yeah, it's just something I do with my hands while I'm reading. I hope I got the size right, I'm pretty sure I did, I have a brother so I use him as a sizing comparison, and I have a pretty good eye for that sort of thing, so I just went ahead and made you one because I was, you know, up. Are you peeing?
Mitch: Yeah.
Jordan: I never sleep. I don't know why. It drove my roommate nuts. I mean really nuts, they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything, she's okay now though, but she had to transfer to an easier school but I don't know if that part has anything to do with being my fault, but still, anyway, if you ever want any help studying at night or just let me know, okay, 'cause I'm just a couple of doors down from you guys and I never sleep, okay?
Mitch: Thanks, I will.
Jordan: Are you finished?
Mitch: I can't start.
Jordan: Because I'm here?
Mitch: I think so.
Jordan: Weird. Well I have to go.
Mitch: Me too.

View Quote [Kent opens his dorm room door to find his car inside]
Chris Knight: Kent isn't that your car?
Mitch: Kent, you know you're not supposed to park that on campus.
Kent: You did this, Knight.
Chris Knight: I had help.
[Points to Mitch, who waves]
Kent: I'm gonna get you guys. Dr. Hathaway's gonna hear all about this. You know, you'll rue the day!
Chris Knight: "Rue the day?" Who talks like that?

View Quote Being snubbed by beauticians is not my idea of relaxing.

View Quote Boy, these military people are so untrusting.

View Quote Cut the crap Kent, you've built a weapon.

View Quote Did you wanna borrow my pajamas?