The Simpsons Movie quotes

View Quote [the dome has shattered into tiny glass shards that are falling to the city like snow]
Chief Wiggum: It's amazing no one was hurt!
Doctor Nick: [a giant piece of glass falls on him] Bye, everybody.

View Quote [the police have cuffed a naked Bart to a pole.]
Bart: You can't just leave me out here!
Lou: Don't worry. We found a friend for you to play with.
Nelson: [points at Bart] Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
[a few hours later]
Nelson: [hoarsely, still pointing at Bart] Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
[Mrs. Muntz walks in.]
Mrs. Muntz: Nelson, honey, where've you been? [points at Bart] Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!

View Quote [The Simpsons are watching an Itchy & Scratchy movie at the cinema]
Homer: Boring!
Lisa: Dad, we can't see the movie!
Homer: I can't believe we're paying to see something we get on TV for free! If you ask me, everybody in this theater is a giant sucker... [turns to face the camera and points straight forward, referring to the viewer] Especially you!

View Quote [The Simpsons are watching TV when a commercial comes on. It features a father, a teenage girl, and a little boy.]
TV Announcer [offscreen]: Are you tired of the same old Grand Canyon?
Father [bored]: Well, here we are, kids. The Grand Canyon.
Girl [annoyed]: It's so old and boring! I want a new one. NOW!!
Tom Hanks: Hello. I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility, so it's borrowing some of mine.
Boy: Tousle my hair, Mr. Hanks!
Tom Hanks: Sure thing, son. [ruffles the boys hair with a touch of magic and chuckles] Now I am pleased to tell you about the new Grand Canyon. Coming this weekend, it's east of Shelbyville and south of Capital City!
Marge: That's where Springfield is!!
Tom Hanks: It's nowhere near anything is or ever was. This is Tom Hanks saying if you're going to pick a government to trust, why not this one?

View Quote [The Simpsons arrive at the church. Everyone can hear their conversation outside.]
Marge: I hate being late.
Homer: Well I hate going! Why can't I worship the Lord in my own way: by praying like hell on my deathbed?!
Marge: Homer, they can hear you inside--
Homer: Relax! Those pious morons are too busy talking to their phoney-baloney God!
[They enter the church to total silence and angry looks. They nervously make their way to their pew.]
Homer: How you doing? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus!

View Quote [Watching the police on TV recovering the Pig Crap silo from where he dumped it in Lake Springfield]
Homer: That could be anybody's Pig Crap silo.
[On the TV, the crane rotates the silo to reveal 'Return To Homer Simpson (No Reward)']
Marge: Homer! It was you! You single-handedly killed this town!
Homer: I know! It's weird!
Kent Brockman: Just a reminder: this station does not endorse vigilante justice. Unless it gets results. Which it will!
[Homer's photo appears on the screen, with the words "GET HIM!" flashing.]
Marge: You didn't listen to me after I warned you!
Homer: Don't worry. Nobody watches this stupid show. [looks out the window] What's that ominous glow in the distance?
[Homer looks out of the window to see an angry mob consisting of just about everyone in Springfield. They are going in the opposite direction of the Simpson house.]
Homer: Marge, look! Those idiots don't even know where we live!
[The mob hears him and starts marching towards the Simpson house.]
Homer: D'oh!

View Quote [about Plopper the pig] You can't kill him if he's wearing people clothes!

View Quote [after his epiphany] That was the most incredible experience of my life! And now to find my family, save my town and drop ten pounds! Thank you, Boob Lady!

View Quote [after seeing the giant glass dome being placed over Springfield] D'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHME!!!!!

View Quote [attempting to reason with the mob while in a noose] The word 'apology' is tossed around a lot these days, but when it comes from in here-- [Homer motions towards his heart, and someone throws a circular saw at him] D'OH!

View Quote [flicking frantically through the Bible] This book doesn't have any answers!

View Quote [Ned Flanders offers Bart cocoa] No way. Cocoa's for wusses! [Ned leaves a mug of cocoa on the windowsill and leaves. He comes back to spray whipped cream, puts a wafer in and grate hard chocolate on it, puts more whipped cream on top of the wafer, puts a marshmallow on top, uses a blowtorch to toast the marshmallow, and leaves again. Won over, Bart creeps closer, snatches the mug, moves to a distance, and takes a sip.] Oh, my God.

View Quote [sees Marge in the distance] Marge! Marge! [runs into a tree branch] Oh no, the "epiha-tree"! [to the tree] Hey, I did my best! What am I supposed to do?! [wind blows a leaf to the hole in the dome up top] But how am I supposed to get up there? [sun shines down on a motorcycle] Ohhhh... [places a dollar in a hole on the tree] Here, buy yourself something nice.

View Quote [shuffling through the snow while talking to himself] Must keep going! Must keep going! Oh, I can't, I can't keep going. Yes, you can! No, I can't! Oh, shut up! You shut up! No, you! No, you! No, you! Oh, real mature. How could you say that?!... Oh what's the point?

View Quote [singing] Lisa's got a boyfriend that she'll never see again! [gets punched in the face by Lisa]