Step Brothers quotes

38 total quotes

Brennan Huff

View Quote (In regards to Robert and Nancy, who are retiring, selling their residence and having him and Dale live on their own as adults) Hold on; We're not going on the boat... Derek's selling the house... We have to go therapy? (Robert nods in response) WHAT THE **** HAPPENED!?

View Quote (In the "Extended Version"; after Dale and Brennan had defeated the schoolchildren and Gardocki, who tries to run away, but is held back by Dale and Brennan) Dale: Where do you think you're going?
Brennan: (with Dale) Huh?
Gardocki: Home.
Dale: We got something to show you.
Brennan: Come on. (Later, they torture Gardocki with white dog excrement, as Brennan is holding him by the neck) You see that white dog crap?!
Dale: Do you see it?!
Gardocki: Yeah!
Dale: Not too fun down there, is it?!
Gardocki: No!
Brennan: You see, your actions have consequences!
Dale: When you oppress people, they rise up in a fiery anger!!
Brennan: (releases Gardocki, who runs away in defeat) Go home!
Dale: We're not like you! We're grownups, mother****er!
Brennan: Say "hi" to your dad! We went to high school together!

View Quote (On Christmas Day, regarding his Chewbacca mask) It's okay that mine's not movie quality.

View Quote (Playing with Dale's drumset, as he yells in one of the drums) **** YOU, DALE! **** YOU!!

View Quote (Robert is furious at Dale and Brennan for destroying his boat as they all come back home from Derek's birthday party.) Dale: Dad, I can't believe you're being so stingy!
Nancy: Robert, come back down!
Brennan: It's a simple business decision!
Robert: You jagaloons! You're failures! FAILURES!
Brennan: Hey, you listen to me, you geriatric ****! Two things! You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother! She's a saint! And then you sit down and you write Dale and Brennan a check for $10,000!
Nancy: Oh, stop it.

View Quote (Sleep-talking) I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.

View Quote (Wearing a Nazi outfit, to some home buyers) Hey, ****ers! Welcome to the neighborhood! My name is Craig. If you guys need any fertilizer, I've got a lot of it; Close to 80 tons. (to Derek, after the home buyers leave) Hey, Derek! Sprechen Sie Dick?

View Quote (While playing Brennan & Dale's music video "Boats 'N Hoes") Brennan: The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria. I'll do you in the bottom while you're drinking sangria!
Dale: Nachos and Lemonheads...
Both: ...on my dad's boat!
Dale: You won't go down, 'cause my dick can float!
Brennan: We sail around the world, and go port to port. Every time I "****" I produce a quart.
Nancy: That is offensive, Brennan, Dale.
Brennan: Deadliest Catch without the crabs, we're almost out of gas...
Both: Call the Arabs!
Background voice: Boats and hoes, boats and hoes, I gotta have me my boats and hoes...