The Cable Guy quotes

22 total quotes

Chip Douglas
Other
Steve Kovac

View Quote Rick: You may know his boss, Larry Tate. From a little show called, Be-witched.

View Quote Robin: Oh...hey, what's up?

View Quote Chip: (after Steven just punched him) You're gonna have to do better than that Steven! Steven? Steven! Hey my lisp is gone!
Steven: (Punches Chip again.)
Chip: (with lisp) Oh you stupid son of a bitch!

View Quote Chip: We met about a week ago and hit it off!
Rick: Oh, really? That's sweet! Alright, you're on my team!
Chip: Sorry, only on Steven's team.
Rick: Alright let's play.
Chip: Alright, let's see what you got white shadow!

View Quote Cop: Play us a song
Chip: Oh no I couldn't...alright already. You might recongnize this song as preformed by Jefferson Airplane in a little Ro****entary about the Rolling Stones in their nightmare at Altamont, that night the Oakland chapter of the Hell's Angels had their way. Tonight...it's my turn!

View Quote Bastard!

View Quote Could you scoot over just a tad, thanks.

View Quote Hail to thee fair wench does thoe have a mug of ale for me and me mate for he hast been pitched in battle for a fortnight and hast a kings thirst for the frosty brew

View Quote Hard to believe they got the floors cleaned in here after what happened:Steven:"what happened?"?...they had alot of cats.

View Quote I just wanted to be your friend...but I screwed it up.

View Quote I just wanted to hang out, NO BIG DEAL!

View Quote I learned the facts of life, by watching the facts of life.

View Quote I was gonna go to that bed and bath place, and now it's closed

View Quote I'm the bastard son of Claire Huxtable!

View Quote Oh, Billy!