Yes Man quotes

View Quote "Yes always leads to something good." "Never avoid opportunities. They may come in any form."

View Quote Hey, I'm just saying "yes" to life — 'cause — you gotta say "yes" to life. I'm in a secret conevant! ... that sounded naughty!

View Quote How do I know if anything you did was because you wanted to or because you were following some goddamn program?

View Quote I can't put my finger on you. You're unpredictable. Kind of mysterious.

View Quote Life! We are all living it — or are we?

View Quote No. No means no!

View Quote Not possible!

View Quote The old Carl didn't think he was enough for anybody. I thought if I said yes to things, and got involved with people, then sooner or later they'd find out I'm not enough. I didn't think I had anything to share. But now I know that what I have to share is pretty huge, and I want to share it with you.

View Quote You're dead, Carl. You say "no" to life and therefore, you're not living. You make up excuses to the people around you and to yourself. You're stuck in the same dead-end job you've had for years. You don't have a girlfriend. You don't have anything close to a girlfriend. And you lost the love of your life because she couldn't be with someone who didn't live theirs. And on most nights you're so bored and filled with ennui, you can't even summon the enthusiasm necessary to masturbate. Am I right, Carl?

View Quote Allison [seeing Carl at bar, after her performance]: Hey! Out of gas "make out" guy!
Carl: Did we make out? Oh right we did. Now I remember!
Allison: What are you doing here?
Carl: Is this crazy or what?
Allison: It's so crazy. Are you stalking me?
Carl: No, I would never do that. Oh by the way, your new furniture — looks great from the yard.

View Quote Allison: I dated this guy and I was astounded at how perfectly content he was just living his life in this closed-off little box.
Carl: I know, its so frustrating! just want to grab these people and shake them. Say "Wake up you — you're missing out — on a little thing called Life!"
Allison: That's so true.

View Quote Allison: I've known that I like you for a while, but just now I decided that I love you. Do you love me?
Carl: Definitely. I love you like — I can't believe it. It's kind of ridiculous.

View Quote Carl: Even if I had met you, I would have never asked you out. You were the complete opposite of me. You did things and had friends and sang in rock bands and made life happen. You weren't scared of anything.
Allison: You don't think I'm scared of anything? Who do you think I am? I'm scared of a lot of things.
Carl: And I'm scared too. So let's be scared together.
Allison: I don't know what you want me to say.
Carl: So just say yes — but only if you really want to. And can you do it fairly soon? I'm starting to get a chill.

View Quote Carl: I need you to remove the covenant.
Terrence: There is no covenant, there never was, I was just riffing.
Carl: Riffing?
Terrence: Well, I had to say something — you were being difficult, embarrassing me in front of my crowd.
Carl: So that little "Yes" thing is all bullshit?
Terrence: No — you just don't know how to use it, that's all.
Carl: Yeah I do — say "yes" to everything — real tough to grasp.
Terrence [exasperated]: No, that's not the point. Well, maybe at first it is, but that's just to open you up to it — to get you started. Then you're saying yes not because you have to, not because a covenant tells you to, but because you know in your heart that you want to.
Carl: Yah. You're right. That makes perfect sense.

View Quote Jumper: Who you, man? Don't try anything, I'm going to kill myself so don't try to stop me.
Carl: Uh, okay...
Jumper: What you mean "okay"?
Carl: No, I don't mean "okay" — I just — give me a second. Uh, I should say something to you here.... Um, don't really know what it is.
Jumper: Man, you terrible at this, are you even a cop?
Carl: Hold on a second — I'm thinking! Wait! I got it.
Jumper: Where you going man? My man — hello?
Carl: Don't do it! I'm coming — "patience is a virtue."
Jumper: What the hell you doing in there?
Carl: [playing guitar and singing "Jumper" by Third Eye Blind]: I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend. You could cut ties with all the lies that youve been living in, And if you would never want to see me again I would understand I would understand. ... [Forgets lyrics] um, what is it?
Jumper [singing] : The angry boy a bit too insane Icing over a secret pain. You know you dont belong!
Carl: Everyone I know has got a reason To say... [crowd joins in] put the past away!