Addams Family, The (1991) quotes

View Quote "How do you take it off?" That's absurd! That finger trap was a party favor at his 10th birthday! He wore that finger trap for two years! Mother had to teach him to eat with his feet!

View Quote 2, 10, 11- eyes, fingers, toes!

View Quote Fester: Three parts dynamite, with a nitroglycerin cap. It's perfect for small homes, carports and toolsheds.

View Quote Grandma: Dinner's gonna be late. [goes outside chasing a cat] Here, boy! Here, boy!

View Quote Abigail Craven: Can it, Gordon! Stop dragging your feet! You disgust me! You're nothing but a useless sniveling baby! A stone around my neck! What was I thinking? I should have left you where I found you!
Uncle Fester: No tricks, Gomez! That's the wrong book! Allow me.
Gomez: Good show, old man.
Tully Alford: Put that book down, Gordon! You don't know what it can do! It's not just literture!
Uncle Fester: Oh, really?
Morticia: Quickly, my darling!
Tully Alford: Gordon, I'm your friend, think of the doubloons!
Uncle Fester: They're not yours, Tully! Back off!
Gomez: Leather straps, red-hot pokers...
Morticia: Later, my dearest.
Abigail Craven: Keep the book closed, Gordon. Listen to mother!
Uncle Fester: I'll never listen to you, never, ever again!
Abigail Craven: I had to be strict with you because I cared! Put it down!
Uncle Fester: You never really loved me!
Gomez: Fester, this way!
Abigail Craven: Stop whining, you little good-for-nothing! Be a man!
Uncle Fester: You were a terrible mother! There! I said it!
[Fester opens the book, and a hurricane is unleashed inside the house, causing Tully Alford and Abigail Craven to launch out the window] Pugsley: Are they dead?
Wednesday: Does it matter?

View Quote Dr. Pinder-Schloss: [faking an over-the-top Germanic accent] Mr. Addams, I beleef I am understandink. I can help. Jais? Ze theory of displacement, is zis familiar?
Gomez: No. Tish?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Oh, it is too exciting! I vill explain.
Gomez: [eagerly] Is it unpleasant?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Deeply. Your very own bruzzer, you drive him avay. "Go, off viz you!" But zen, you are feelink ze little black monster.
Gomez: Pugsley?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Guilt! Jais! Your bruzzer returns, you feel guilty- you displace.

View Quote Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Love/hate, hate/love. Like for mama, no?
Gomez: But I didn't hate my mother- it was an accident!

View Quote Dr. Pinder-Schloss: The human spirit, it is a very difficult thing to kill.
Grandma: Even with a chainsaw!

View Quote Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: I'll tell you what- I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

View Quote Gomez: [helping Morticia out of a torture device] Leather straps...red-hot pokers...
Morticia: Later, my dearest.

View Quote Gomez: How long has it been since we waltzed?
Morticia: Oh, Gomez...hours.

View Quote Judge: [after a golf ball crashes through his window] Damn you, Addams!
Gomez: Sorry about the window, Judge. Keep the ball, I have a whole bucket full!
Judge: You moron!

View Quote Margaret: [regarding Cousin Itt] Everyone keeps asking where he got his costume.
Gomez: It is a wonderful hat.

View Quote Margaret: This is always so embarrassing. Why did I marry you?
Tully: Because I said yes.

View Quote Morticia: Children, what are you doing?
Wednesday: I'm going to electrocute him.
Morticia: But we're late for the charity auction.
Wednesday: But, Mother!
Morticia: [firmly] I said no.
Pugsley: Pleeaaaase?
Morticia: [smiling indulgently] Oh, all right.