Airplane! quotes

View Quote Reporter: What kind of plane is it?
Johnny: Oh it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the window and wheels. It looks like a big Tylenol.

View Quote Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Capt. Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
Capt. Oveur: No, I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Capt. Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

View Quote Rumack: Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face a few unpleasant facts?
Elaine: No.
Rumack: Alright. If we don't get this plane down soon, I can't even be sure of saving their lives.

View Quote Rumack: What flying experience have you had?
Striker: I flew single engine fighters in the Air Force, but this plane has four engines. It's an entirely different kind of flying... altogether.
All (Together): "It's an entirely different kind of flying."

View Quote Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Elaine: Well, we had a choice, steak or fish.
Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.

View Quote Striker: (trying to keep the crashing plane under control) Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!
McCroskey: Mayday? What the hell is that for?
Johnny: Mayday? Why that's the Russian New Year. You know, we'll have a big parade, we'll serve hot hors d'oeuvre...

View Quote Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.
Rumack: I'm doing everything I can, and stop calling me Shirley.

View Quote Striker: Surely you can't be serious?
Rumack: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. Note: this exchange is ranked #79 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.

View Quote Talk Show Guest: They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting in to. I say, let 'em crash!
Elaine: Would you gentlemen care to order your dinners?
First Jive Passenger: Bet, babe. Slide a piece o' da' porter. Drink side, run da' java.
Second Jive Passenger: Lookie here. I can dig grease 'n chompin' on some buns and draggin' through the garden.
Randy: Can I get you something?
Second Jive Passenger: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me
Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
First Jive Passenger: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!
Jive Lady Passenger: Oh stewardess! I speak jive.
Randy: Oh, good.
Jive Lady Passenger: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?
Jive Lady Passenger: Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da' rebound on da' med side.
Second Jive Passenger: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!
Jive Lady Passenger: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!
First Jive Passenger: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up!
Jive Lady Passenger: Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!
Passenger: Oh...it's my stomach. I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film.
Young Girl Passenger: *when offered cream for her coffee* No thank you, I take it black...like my men.

View Quote Tower: Flight two-zero niner, you're cleared for take-off.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower: L.A. departure frequency one two three point niner.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Huh?
Tower: Flight two-zero niner, cleared for vector three-two-four.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
Tower: Tower Radio, clearance, over.
Oveur: That's 'Clarence Oveur', over.
Tower: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower: Roger, over.
Roger Murdock: What?
Capt. Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?

View Quote [Looks around, confused -- He hears the echo]
Hello! (...hello! ...hello!) Echo! (...echo! ...echo!)
[Stiffens]
Pinch hitting... for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...!
I guess the foot's on the other hand now, isn't it, Kramer?

View Quote Johnny  : And Leon's getting laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrger.
Towergy : [holding up a newspaper] Captain, look at this!

View Quote Johnny  : Me John! Big tree.

View Quote Johnny  : Oh, it's a big, pretty, white plane with red stripes, curtains in the window, and wheels, and it looks like a big Tylenol.
MCrosky : Bad news, the fog is getting thicker.

View Quote Johnny  : This? Why I could make a hat, or a brooch, a pterodactyl. . .
Reporter : What kind of plane is it?