Dogma quotes

162 total quotes

Loki
Metatron
Multiple Characters
Rufus
Serendipity

View Quote What traditionally defines a woman falls between two things: her legs. But as you can see, [raises skirt] I lack definition!

View Quote When a quiet little infection destroyed my uterus, where was God? When my husband decided he couldn't be with a wife who couldn't bear his children, where was God? To Hell with Him.

View Quote White folks only wanna hear the good shit — life eternal, a place in God's Heaven - but as soon as you hear that you're gettin' all this good shit from a black Jesus, you freak. And that, my friends, is called hypocrisy. A black man can steal your stereo, but he can't be your Savior.

View Quote You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the First Commandment. More than that, not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality.

View Quote You can't be anal-retentive if you don't have an anus.

View Quote You don't mind that I lost the wings, do you? I'm trying to keep our profile low.

View Quote You have nothing to worry about. You're innocent. But you forgot to say 'God bless you' when I sneezed!

View Quote You know, Christ told me the secret to the Resurrection once. We were at this wedding in Cana, right? And I-I got drunk and forgot it.

View Quote You know, you can have sex until the third trimester? (after Bethany reveals that she is pregnant)

View Quote You people! If it hasn't been made into a movie, it's not worth knowing about, is that it?

View Quote You tell someone you're a Metatron, they stare at you blankly. You mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everyone is a theology scholar, may I continue uninterrupted?

View Quote Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains gotta wake up!