Ferris Bueller's Day Off quotes

View Quote Ferris: What's he doing?
Sloane: He's licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands.

View Quote Ferris: Where's your brain?
Cameron: Why'd you kick me?
Ferris: Where's your brain?
Cameron: Why'd you kick me?
Ferris: Where's your brain?
Cameron: I asked you first.
Ferris: How can we pick up Sloane if Rooney is there with her?
Cameron: I said for her to be there alone and you freaked.
Ferris: Now, I didn't hit you. I lightly slapped you.
Cameron: You hit me. Look don't make me participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it. You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion. And-and-and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings.

View Quote Garage Attendant: You guys got nothing to worry about, I'm a professional.
Cameron: A professional what?

View Quote Katie Bueller: I just picked up Jeannie at the police station! She got a speeding ticket, another speeding ticket, and I lost the Vermont deal because of her!
Tom Bueller: I think we should shoot her.

View Quote Maitre D': All right, I've had enough of this-
Ferris: You touch me, I yell rat!

View Quote Maitre D': You're Abe Froman?
Ferris: That's right, I'm Abe Froman.
Maitre D': The Sausage King of Chicago?
Ferris: Uh yeah, that's me.
Maitre D': Look, I'm very busy. Why don't you take the kids and go back to the clubhouse?
Ferris: Are you suggesting that I'm not who I say I am?
Maitre D': I'm suggesting that you leave before I have to get snooty.
Ferris: Snooty?
Maitre D': Snotty.
Ferris: Snotty?

View Quote Shermerite: [collecting money] Save Ferris? Save Ferris?
[Solicits Jeannie]
Shermerite: Save Ferris?
Jeannie: Excuse me?
Shermerite: Well, a group of us are collecting money to buy Ferris Bueller a new kidney. Save Ferris?
Jeannie: Go piss up a flagpole.
Shermerite: I'm sorry?
Jeannie: You should be. [Knocks the can out of his hand]

View Quote Sloan:: The city looks so peaceful from up here.
Ferris: Anything looks peaceful from one thousand three hundred and fifty-three feet.
Cameron: I think I see my dad.

View Quote Sloan: What could happen to it? It's in a garage.
Cameron: It could get wrecked, stolen, scratched, breathed on wrong, a pigeon could shit on it! Who knows?

View Quote Sloane: What are we going to do?
Ferris: The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"
Cameron: Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home.
Ferris: [to the camera] If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away? Neither would I.

View Quote Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Your ass is mine. [said to a girl who looks like Ferris from behind at the pizza place]

View Quote [After playing the Clarinet off-key] Never had one lesson!

View Quote [his recorded message for the doorbell] Who is it? [pause] Oh, I'm sorry. I can't come to the door right now. I'm afraid that in my weakened condition, I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further school absences. You can reach my parents at their places of business. Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your concern for my well-being. Have a nice day!

View Quote [referring to the Ferrari] It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

View Quote [singing] When Cameron was in Egypt's land... let my Cameron go.