Ferris Bueller's Day Off quotes

84 total quotes

Jeanie Bueller
Multiple Characters
Sloane Peterson

View Quote [Speaking about his parents:] They bought it. Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second.

View Quote [speaking to her mom's secretary] Do you know where she is? [unheard reply] Do you know when she'll be back? [unheard reply] Do you know anything?! [hangs up furiously]

View Quote [speaking to the police] There is an intruder--male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird--in my kitchen. M-my-my-my name is Bueller. Look, it's real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better, but I'm in danger, okay? I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body. I don't want it violated or killed, all right?! I need help! Speak any English?! Dick head!

View Quote [to audience] Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

View Quote [to Ferris] How would you feel about another year of high school? Under my close personal supervision.

View Quote [to Sloane] Do you have a kiss for Daddy?

View Quote [To the audience after the credits] You're still here? It's over. Go home. Go!

View Quote [watching Sloane French kiss Ferris, who is posing as Sloane's father] So that's how it is in their family.

View Quote Bite the big one, junior.

View Quote Call me 'sir', goddamn it! (to Edward Rooney over the phone, impersonating Sloane Peterson's father)

View Quote Cameron has never been in love. At least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work.

View Quote Do you realize that if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym?

View Quote Dry that one out, you can fertilize the lawn.

View Quote Excuse me. If whoever's in the house is still in the house, I'd like you to know that I have just called the police. If you have any brains whatsoever, you'll get your ass out of my house real quick. I'd also like to add that I have my father's gun. And a scorching case of herpes.

View Quote Ferris Bueller, you're my hero.