Few Good Men, A quotes

View Quote Kaffee: Were you able to speak to your friend in the N.I.S.?
Weinberg: Yeah. She said if Markinson doesn't want to be found, we're not gonna find him. She said I could be Markinson and you wouldn't know it.
Kaffee [eyeing Sam suspiciously]: Are you Markinson?
Weinberg: No.
Kaffee: I'm not Markinson. That's two down.

View Quote Kaffee: Why did Markinson go U.A.?
Ross: We'll never know.
Kaffee: You don't think I can subpoena Markinson?
Ross: You can try, but you won't find him. You know what Markinson did the first seventeen of his twenty-six years in the Corps? Counterintelligence. Markinson's gone. There is no Markinson.
...
Ross: Look, Danny, Jessep's star is on the rise. Division will give me a lot of room on this one to spare Jessep and the Corps any embarrassment.
Kaffee: How much room?
Ross: I'll knock it down to Involuntary Manslaughter--two years. They're home in six months.
Joanne Galloway: No deal. We're going to court.
Ross: No, you're not.
Galloway: Why not?
Ross: Because Danny knows that even though he's got me by the balls out here, in a courtroom, he loses this case.

View Quote Kaffee: You and Dawson, you both live in the same dreamworld. It doesn't matter what I believe. It only matters what I can prove! So please, don't tell me what I know, or don't know; I know the law.
Galloway: You know nothing about the law. You're a used-car salesman, Daniel. You're an ambulance chaser with a rank. You're nothing. Live with that.

View Quote Kaffee: You don't believe their story, do you? You think they ought to go to jail for the rest of their lives.
Weinberg: I believe every word of their story. And I think they ought to go to jail for the rest of their lives.

View Quote Kaffee: You got authorization from Aunt Ginny.
Galloway: Perfectly within my province.
Kaffee: Does Aunt Ginny have a barn? We could hold the trial there. I could sew the costumes, maybe his Uncle Goober could be the judge.

View Quote Ross: Airmen Cecil O'Malley and Anthony Rodriguez, what exactly were these guys going to testify to?
Kaffee: Unless 'm mistaken, they were going to testify under oath that they had absolutely no recollection of anything.
Ross: Strong witnesses.
Kaffee: And handsome too, dontcha think?
Ross: I'll see you around campus. I gotta go arrest Kendrick.
Kaffee: Tell him I say hi.
Ross: Will do.

View Quote Ross: I have here the Marine Corps Outline for Recruit Training. I'd like you to turn to the chapter on "code reds".
Barnes: Well, you see, sir, "code red" is a term we use, just down in Gitmo--
Ross: Oh, then, we're in luck. Marching Orders/Standard Operating Procedure, Rifle Security Company, Guatanamo Bay, Cuba. I'm sure we'll find it in there.
Barnes: You won't find it in there, either, sir.
Ross: Cpl. Barnes, I'm a Marine. You mean to tell me there's no manual, no set of instructions that tells me, as a Marine, one of my duties is to perform "code reds?"
Barnes: No, sir. No book, sir.
Ross: No further questions.
[As Ross returns to his seat, Kaffee gets up and snatches the Rifle Company SOP out of his hand]
Kaffee: Cpl. Barnes, turn to the page in this book that tells me how to get to the mess hall.
Barnes: Lt. Kaffee, that's not in the book, sir.
Kaffee: You mean the whole time you've been at Gitmo, you've never had a meal?
Barnes: No, sir. Three squares a day, sir.
Kaffee: Then how did you find the mess hall if it wasn't in this book?
Barnes: Well, sir, like everybody else, I just followed the crowd at chow time, sir.
Kaffee: No further questions.

View Quote Spradling: We were supposed to meet in your office 15 minutes ago to discuss the McDermott case. You're stalling on this thing! Now, either we get it done, and I mean now, or no kidding, Kaffee, I'm going to hang your boy from a ****ing yardarm!
Kaffee: Yardarm? [to guy playing 2nd base] Sherby, does the Navy still hang people from yardarms?
Sherby: I don't think so.
Kaffee: Dave, Sherby said he doesn't think the Navy hangs people from yardarms anymore.
Spradling: I'm going to charge him with possession and being under the influence while on duty. You plead guilty, I'll recommend thirty days in the brig with loss of rank and pay.
Kaffee: It was oregano, Dave. It was ten dollars' worth of oregano.
Spradling: Yeah, well, your client thought it was marijuana.
Kaffee: My client's a moron. That's not against the law.
Spradling: Kaffee, I've got people to answer to, just like you. I'm gonna charge him.
Kaffee: With what? Possession of a condiment?

View Quote Weinberg: Don't forget to wear the whites. It's very hot down there.
Kaffee: I don't like the whites.
Weinberg: Nobody likes the whites, but we're going to Cuba. You got Dramamine?
Kaffee: Dramamine keeps you cool?
Weinberg: No, Dramamine keeps you from throwing up. You get sick when you fly.
Kaffee: I get sick when I fly 'cause I'm afraid of crashing into a large mountain. I don't think Dramamine will help.
Weinberg: I got some oregano. I hear that works pretty good.

View Quote Weinberg: Why do you like them so much?
Galloway: Because they stand on a wall. And they say, "Nothing's gonna hurt you tonight, not on my watch."

View Quote Weinberg: You're my witness. The baby spoke. My daughter said a word.
Kaffee: Your daughter made a sound, Sam. I'm not sure it was a word.
Weinberg: Come on now, it was definitely a word.
Kaffee: Okay.
Weinberg: You heard her. The girl sat here, pointed, and said, "Pa". She did! She said, "Pa".
Kaffee: Sam,she was pointing at a mailbox.
Weinberg: That's right. Pointing as if to say, "Pa, look; a mailbox!"

View Quote We have softball games and marching bands. They work at a place where you have to wear camouflage or you might get shot!

View Quote [Imitating Jessep] He eats breakfast three hundred yards away from four thousand Cubans who are trained to kill him [in his own voice] and no one's going to tell him how to run his unit, least of all the Harvard mouth in his ****y white uniform.

View Quote [Making his opening statement] Lt. Kaffee is gonna try to put on a little magic act here. He's gonna try a little misdirection. He'll astound you with stories of rituals and dazzle you with official-sounding terms like Code Red. He might even try to cut into a few officers for you. He'll have no evidence, mind you, none . . . but it will be entertaining.

View Quote [Rehearsing her request to represent the Marines] I'd like to request that it be I am who assigned . . . that it be I who am assigned? That's great. That's confidence-inspiring. Good grammar there.