Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle quotes

View Quote Rosenberg: I think Kumar's a "fay-gele".
Goldstein: Oh, they're totally gay for each other.
Rosenberg: Hey, you wanna suck on this?
[offers Goldstein a marijuana smoking device]
Goldstein: Uh-huh. Mmm.

View Quote [cops left moments earlier to check out a shooting in Millbrook Park]
Kumar: [from inside a heating duct at the police station, where Harold is in jail] Rold? Is that you?
Harold: Kumar?
Kumar: Hey, are the cops still here?
Harold: What the hell are you doing?
Kumar: I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park.
Harold: Jesus Christ, what'd you do that for?!
Kumar: I'm ****ing starving! I figured I'd bust you out and we'd go get some burgers.

View Quote [Kumar is licking Harold to wake him up]
Harold: What the **** are you doing?! God!
Kumar: Well, you were out cold, I figured if I started doing some gay shit you'd wake up.
Harold: Didn't we come here on a cheetah? Where's the cheetah?
Kumar: It ran away. Listen, I got some bad news and some worse news.
Harold: Okay, give me the worse news first.
Kumar: I was looking at some of the roadsigns, and it looks like the cheetah took us in a completely different direction.
Harold: What's the bad news?
Kumar: Your laptop's completely destroyed.
Harold: [shouts] How is that not the worse news?
Kumar: [calmly] The laptop situation really only affects you, whereas the White Castle situation affects us both equally.

View Quote [about to ride cheetah] This is either a really smart move or by far the stupidest thing that we have ever tried.

View Quote [after falling on the ground, holding his head] Ow-w-w! My ass!

View Quote [in dream, spits at a bag of marijuana] Bitch! Learn how to ****in' make coffee, you ****ing whore!

View Quote [to Maria in elevator, after seeing luggage at her feet] Sure got a lotta baggage.

View Quote Congratu-****in'-lations!

View Quote Did Doogie Howser just steal my ****ing car?

View Quote Dude, am I going deaf or did he just say we could **** his wife?

View Quote Hello-o-o-o, New Brunswick!

View Quote Hey Randy! What? The devil! Whuh? The devil is everywhere...

View Quote Hey, asshole, why don't you leave that guy alone and go jerk off to some snowboarding videos or something?

View Quote Hey, move your ass!

View Quote I was goin down to Georgia, gonna get myself baptized, gon get myself baptized in the bussom of the Lord.