Mystery Men quotes

View Quote (creepy, ominous dude at tryouts) "I...am BALLERINA MAN!" ~Ballerina Man

View Quote Blue Raja: I better get going. I've got a city to save.
Mom: Jeffrey? Do the accent.
Blue Raja: Uh, well... [shifts to British accent] Well, I'd love to stay and chit-chat, Mother, but I fear I must away with me — our metropolis is in the clutches of madmen!
Mom: Jeff?
Blue Raja: Yeah?
Mom: Cheerio.
Blue Raja: Thanks, Mom.

View Quote Blue Raja: Sphinx, what do we do?
Sphinx: Sometimes, the true hero is the one with the courage to run away.
Bowler: I like the way this man thinks!
Invisible Boy: Let's run.
Shoveler: We can't run.
Bowler: Oh, yes! Oh, yes — it's been established that we can run.

View Quote Bowler: Have you ever heard of Carmine the Bowler?
Shoveler: Have we ever heard...
Blue Raja: Cor blimey, miss, don't tell us you're the Bowler's daughter!
Mr. Furious: I seem to remember there being a little controversy around his death.
Bowler: That's right. The police said it was an accident. He'd come home late one night and fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
Blue Raja: You know, I've always suspected a bit of foul play.
Bowler: As have I.

View Quote Bowler: So you're a British man who converted to Islam, sort of like Cat Stevens?
Blue Raja: No. Until the early part of this century, India was in fact part of the British Empire, whose government there was called the British Raj after the Hindi word for "sovereignty". Furthermore —
Bowler: Wait — so sorry. [to her bowling ball] What? DAD! No, he's not a commie, nor a fruit. [to the Blue Raja] Sorry. His ignorance embarrasses me.
Blue Raja: Sorry, but am I to understand that you've inserted your father's skull inside of that... ball for bowling?
Bowler: No. The guy at the pro shop did it.

View Quote Captain Amazing: Listen, I really think we need to talk about your plans here.
Casanova Frankenstein: You know my plans, Lancie. Tomorrow night... I'm going to kill you.
Captain Amazing: Right. That's the part that really doesn't work for me.

View Quote Captain Amazing: Lookee here — a multi-frequency radio detonator! You really should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence.
Casanova Frankenstein: Oh, no, no, no, no. This is an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool.
Captain Amazing: Yeah? What is it? [the gizmo emits a spurt of vapor into his face] Yuck!
Casanova: It's a chloroform-deploying enticement snare.
Captain Amazing: Aw, DANG! [he collapses]
Casanova: Poor Lancie. You really are so predictable.

View Quote Captain Amazing: We've always been each other's greatest nemesises... uh, nemesee... wh-what's the plural on that?
Casanova Frankenstein: [Wearily] Nemeses.
Captain Amazing: Whatever. You're going to prison for life this time, Casanova. You see, here in Champion City we still do a fairly brisk trade... in justice.
Casanova: I thought it was all about publicity and keeping your sponsors happy.
Captain Amazing: See, it's that kind of cynicism that I truly feel is starting to poison society.

View Quote Casanova Frankenstein: Ah, the old Disco Room. Just as I left it.
Tony P: You been locked up for twenty years, Casanova. A lot of things have changed since then.
Casanova Frankenstein: It must have been hard for you, Tony, the way times and styles have changed... hearing the people say that disco is dead...
Tony P: [Snapping] Disco is not dead! Disco is LIFE!
Casanova Frankenstein: Yes, Tony! That is the passion I remember! Stick with me, Tony, and you will dance again... when I rule this town.

View Quote Casanova Frankenstein: Captain Amazing — what a surprise.
Captain Amazing: Really? I'm not so sure about that. Your first night of freedom and you blow up the asylum. Interesting choice. I knew you couldn't change.
Casanova: I knew you'd know that.
Captain Amazing: Oh, I know. And I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.
Casanova: But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know that?
Captain Amazing: ... Of course.

View Quote Invisible Boy: But I don't want to get frakulated!
The Bowler: Psycho-frakulated.
Invisible Boy: We still get frakulated!

View Quote Invisible Boy: So what's the name of this team? How about the Super Squad?
[Tony P and Tony C appear with gun-toting Disco Boys]
Tony P: How about the Six Dead Guys in Their Stupid Costumes? No, no, no — the Magnificent Dead Guys. How about that?
Tony C: How about the Legendary Superfreaks?
Tony P: Way too positive. They totalled our car.

View Quote Invisible Boy: So, this is basically a huge electromagnet.
Dr. Heller: Well, actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet. It's the next inevitable phase.

View Quote Monica: What's your name?
Mr. Furious: D-do you mean my secret identity? 'Cause I couldn't...
Monica: No, I just mean your name.
Mr. Furious: My name. Ummm... wow. Okay... It's...Phoenix... Phoenix Dark... Dirk... Phoenix... Dark Dirk. I was christened Dirk Steel and then I changed it to Phoenix...
Monica: Forget about it. It's okay.
Mr. Furious: It's Roy! That's... that's my name. My... my real name's Roy.
Monica: Just. Be. Roy.

View Quote Mr. Furious: Do you see what I see?
Shoveler: It's Tony C!
Blue Raja: And Tony P, leader of the Disco Boys! But what, pray tell, would he be doing back in town?
Mr. Furious: Maybe it's time to do some following to find out.