Shrek 2 quotes

View Quote Donkey: It's kind of a long story, but, you see, Shrek and I took some magic potion, and now... we're sexy!
Fiona: [sees Puss] Shrek?
Puss: For you baby... I could be.
Donkey: Yeah, you wish.

View Quote Donkey: LEMME OUTTA HERE! YOU CAN'T LOCK US UP LIKE THIS! LEMME GO! HEY, WHAT ABOUT MY MIRANDA RIGHTS?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!!!
Shrek: Donkey! You have the right to remain silent! What you lack is the capacity.
Puss: I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.
Pinocchio: Shrek? Donkey?
Puss: [sees all the fairytale creatures above him] Too late!

View Quote Donkey: Pray for mercy from Puss...
Puss: ...and Donkey!

View Quote Donkey: Royal ball? Can I come?
Shrek: We're not going.
Fiona and Donkey: What?
Shrek: I mean, don't you think they might be a bit shocked to see you like this?
Fiona: Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too.
Shrek: Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.
Fiona: Stop it. They're not like that.
Shrek: How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?

View Quote Fairy Godmother: A drop of desire... Oohoohoo, naughty! A pinch of passion... And just a hint of... Lust!
Shrek: Excuse me. Sorry to barge in like this, but---
Fairy Godmother: What in Grimm's name are you doing here?
Shrek: It seems that Fiona isn't exactly happy.
Fairy Godmother: And there's some question as to why that is? Let's explore that shall we? Princess Cinderella, lived happily ever after... Oh. No ogres.

View Quote Fairy Godmother: No, no, no, no.... You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.
Shrek: [points at her] All right, look, lady!
Fairy Godmother: Don't you point those dirty, green sausages at me!

View Quote Fiona: [about the Fairy Godmother] She's just trying to help--
Shrek: Good! She can help pack the bags! We're leaving.
Fiona: Leaving?! When did you decide this?
Shrek: Shortly after arriving!

View Quote Fiona: [lets out a loud belch that interrupts a conversation] Oh! Excuse me.
Shrek: Better out than in, I always say.

View Quote Gingy: Oh, I hate these ball shows, they bore me to tears! Flip over to Wheel of Torture.
Pinocchio: I'm not flipping anywhere, sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona.
Gingy: Aw, whizzes on you guys.

View Quote King: Charming! Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When did you get back?
Prince Charming: Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. [yelling] After I endured blistering winds and scorching desert, climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower---
Fairy Godmother: Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. [yelling] He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find?! Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married!

View Quote King: You see, I need to have someone taken care of.
Doris: Who's the guy?
King: Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um... he's... an ogre!

View Quote Muffin Man: Gingy!
Gingy: Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We've got a big order to fill! [lightning flashes and an evil laugh is heard] It's alive!

View Quote Prince Charming: Mother!
Fairy Godmother: Charming, sweetheart! This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working.
Prince Charming: Whoa, what happened here?
Fairy Godmother: The ogre, that's what!
Prince Charming: What? Where is he, Mum? [draws his sword] I shall rend his head from his shoulders! I will smite him where he stands! He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me!
Fairy Godmother: Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still gonna be king.

View Quote Prince Charming: Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming. It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the dragon's keep. For he was the bravest—and most handsome—in all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to the princess' chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to reveal her...
Big Bad Wolf: What?
Prince Charming: Princess... Fiona?
Big Bad Wolf: No!
Prince Charming: Oh, thank heavens.
Big Bad Wolf: She's on her honeymoon.
Prince Charming: ... Honeymoon?! With whom?!

View Quote Puss: Go! Your lady needs you. Go! Today, I repay my debt.
[puts on cute face in front of knights]
Knights: Awwwwwwww...
Puss: [draws sword] En garde!