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Thor: Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were going to fight side-by-side forever, but at the end of the day, you're you and I'm me. I don't know, maybe there's still some good in you. But let's be honest: our paths diverged a long time ago.
Loki: [Sighs] Yeah. It's probably for the best that we never see each other again.
Thor: Its what you always wanted. [He claps Loki on the shoulder.
Loki: [Sighs] Yeah. It's probably for the best that we never see each other again.
Thor: Its what you always wanted. [He claps Loki on the shoulder.
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Thor: Miek, where are you from?
Korg: Oh, Miek's dead. Yeah, no. I accidentally stomped on the bridge, I've just felt so guilty, I've been carrying him around all day. [Miek then moves] Oh, Miek! You're alive. He's alive, guys. What was your question again, bro?
Thor: ... Earth it is.
Korg: Oh, Miek's dead. Yeah, no. I accidentally stomped on the bridge, I've just felt so guilty, I've been carrying him around all day. [Miek then moves] Oh, Miek! You're alive. He's alive, guys. What was your question again, bro?
Thor: ... Earth it is.
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Thor: [Aboard the Commodore] Where are the weapons on this thing?!
Valkyrie: THERE AREN'T ANY! IT'S A LEISURE VESSEL!
Thor: Say what?!
Valkyrie: THE GRANDMASTER USES IT FOR HIS GOOD TIMES! ORGIES AND STUFF!
Bruce Banner: DID SHE JUST SAY THE GRANDMASTER USES IT FOR ORGIES?!
Thor: [To Banner] Yeah. Better not touch anything.
Valkyrie: THERE AREN'T ANY! IT'S A LEISURE VESSEL!
Thor: Say what?!
Valkyrie: THE GRANDMASTER USES IT FOR HIS GOOD TIMES! ORGIES AND STUFF!
Bruce Banner: DID SHE JUST SAY THE GRANDMASTER USES IT FOR ORGIES?!
Thor: [To Banner] Yeah. Better not touch anything.
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Thor: [The Hulk takes on Surtur] Hulk, stop, you moron!
[Sutur picks Hulk up his crown and flicks Hulk onto the Bifrost]
Hulk: [Growls and starts getting back up]
Thor" Hulk, stop! Just for once in your life: Don't. Smash.
Hulk: [Whiny] Big monster!
Valkyrie: Let's go!
Hulk: [Annoyed, he looks at Surtur, then turns back to Thor and Valkyrie] Fine. [Goes with Thor and Valkyrie, leaving Surtur behind]
[Sutur picks Hulk up his crown and flicks Hulk onto the Bifrost]
Hulk: [Growls and starts getting back up]
Thor" Hulk, stop! Just for once in your life: Don't. Smash.
Hulk: [Whiny] Big monster!
Valkyrie: Let's go!
Hulk: [Annoyed, he looks at Surtur, then turns back to Thor and Valkyrie] Fine. [Goes with Thor and Valkyrie, leaving Surtur behind]
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Valkyrie: Look. I've spent years, in a haze, trying to forget my past. Sakaar seemed like the best place to drink, and forget and to die, one day.
Thor: Well, I was thinking that you drink too much and that was probably going to kill you.
Valkyrie: I don't plan to stop drinking...but I don't want to forget. I can't turn away anymore. So, if I'm going to die, well...it may as well be driving my sword through the heart of that murderous hag.
Thor: Well, I was thinking that you drink too much and that was probably going to kill you.
Valkyrie: I don't plan to stop drinking...but I don't want to forget. I can't turn away anymore. So, if I'm going to die, well...it may as well be driving my sword through the heart of that murderous hag.
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[after knocking down the Hulk, Thor approaches him]
Thor: [Copying Black Widow] Hey, big guy. Sun's getting real low. I don't want to hurt you anymore...there –
[The Hulk grabs Thor and flattens him with repeated smashes into the floor]
Loki: [Cheers] YES! That's how it feels! [To the Grandmaster] I'm just a huge fan of the sport.
Thor: [Copying Black Widow] Hey, big guy. Sun's getting real low. I don't want to hurt you anymore...there –
[The Hulk grabs Thor and flattens him with repeated smashes into the floor]
Loki: [Cheers] YES! That's how it feels! [To the Grandmaster] I'm just a huge fan of the sport.
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[First lines: Thor is thrown into Muspelheim in chains]
Thor: Now, I know what you're thinking: "Oh, no. Thor's in a cage. How did this happen?" Well, sometimes you have to get captured just to get a straight answer out of something. It's a long story, basically...I'm a bit of a hero. See, I've spent some time on Earth, fought some robots, saved the planet a couple of times. Then I went searching through the cosmos for some magic colorful Infinity Stone things...didn't find any. That's when I came across a path of death and destruction. Which led me all the way here into this cage...where I met you. [Camera shows a skeleton. Its jaw ever so conveniently falls off] How much longer do you think we'll be in here?
[Thor, chained up, falls and briefly hangs to see Surtur sitting in his throne]
Surtur: Thor, son of Odin.
Thor: Surtur, son of ... a bitch! You're still alive? I thought my father killed you, like....half a billion years ago.
Surtur: I cannot die. Not until I fulfill my destiny, and lay waste to your home.
Thor: You know, it's funny you should mention that. Because I've been having these terrible dreams of late! Asgard up in flames. Falling to ruins. And you, Surtur, are the centre of all of them.
Surtur: Then you have seen Ragnarök: The fall of Asgard, the great prophecy–
Thor: [Rotating away from Surtur's direction] Hang on... Hang on... I'll be... back around shortly. You know, I really feel like we were connecting there. [Thor has now rotated to face Surtur] Okay, so, Ragnarök. Tell me about that. Walk me through it.
Surtur: My time has come. When my crown is reunited with the Eternal Flame, I shall be restored to my full might! I will tower over the mountains, and bury my sword deep in Asgard!
Thor: [Rotating away from Surtur's direction again] Whoop, hang on! Give it a second... I swear, I'm not even moving, it's just doing this on its own! I'm really sorry. [Thor has again rotated to face Surtur] Okay, so let me get this straight. You're going to put your crown into the Eternal Flame, and you'll suddenly grow big as a house?
Surtur: A MOUNTAIN!!!
Thor: The Eternal Flame that Odin keeps locked away in Asgard?
Surtur: Odin is not on Asgard. And your absence has left the throne defenseless.
Thor: Okay, so... where is this crown?
Surtur: [Taps the structure on his head] This is my crown. The source of my power!...
Thor: Oh, that's a crown? I thought it was a big eyebrow.
Surtur: [Annoyed] It's a crown!
Thor: Anyway, it sounds like all I have to do to stop Ragnarök is rip that thing off your head.
Surtur: [Laughs] But Ragnarök has already begun! You cannot stop it! I am Asgard's doom, and so are you! All will suffer! All. Will. BURN.
Thor: Oh, that's intense. You know to be honest, seeing you grow really big and set fire to a planet would be quite the spectacle. But it looks like, I'm gonna have to choose "Option B", where I bust out of these chains, knock that tiara off your head, and stash you away in Asgard's vault. [He has a smug little smirk at the end of this mini-tirade]
Surtur: You cannot stop Ragnarök. Why fight it?
Thor: [Motions his hand out] Because. That's what heroes do! [Smiles dramatically, but after a moment, nothing occurs] Wait, sorry...I didn't time that right. And. Now!
[His hammer, Mjolnir, flies in. Thor grabs the hammer and battles Surtur as the "Immigrant Song" theme by Led Zeppelin plays]
Surtur: [Chuckling evilly] You have made a grave mistake, Odinson!
Thor: Oho, I make grave mistakes all the time. [Sees an army of Surtur's minions charging towards him] Everything seems to work out.
Thor: Now, I know what you're thinking: "Oh, no. Thor's in a cage. How did this happen?" Well, sometimes you have to get captured just to get a straight answer out of something. It's a long story, basically...I'm a bit of a hero. See, I've spent some time on Earth, fought some robots, saved the planet a couple of times. Then I went searching through the cosmos for some magic colorful Infinity Stone things...didn't find any. That's when I came across a path of death and destruction. Which led me all the way here into this cage...where I met you. [Camera shows a skeleton. Its jaw ever so conveniently falls off] How much longer do you think we'll be in here?
[Thor, chained up, falls and briefly hangs to see Surtur sitting in his throne]
Surtur: Thor, son of Odin.
Thor: Surtur, son of ... a bitch! You're still alive? I thought my father killed you, like....half a billion years ago.
Surtur: I cannot die. Not until I fulfill my destiny, and lay waste to your home.
Thor: You know, it's funny you should mention that. Because I've been having these terrible dreams of late! Asgard up in flames. Falling to ruins. And you, Surtur, are the centre of all of them.
Surtur: Then you have seen Ragnarök: The fall of Asgard, the great prophecy–
Thor: [Rotating away from Surtur's direction] Hang on... Hang on... I'll be... back around shortly. You know, I really feel like we were connecting there. [Thor has now rotated to face Surtur] Okay, so, Ragnarök. Tell me about that. Walk me through it.
Surtur: My time has come. When my crown is reunited with the Eternal Flame, I shall be restored to my full might! I will tower over the mountains, and bury my sword deep in Asgard!
Thor: [Rotating away from Surtur's direction again] Whoop, hang on! Give it a second... I swear, I'm not even moving, it's just doing this on its own! I'm really sorry. [Thor has again rotated to face Surtur] Okay, so let me get this straight. You're going to put your crown into the Eternal Flame, and you'll suddenly grow big as a house?
Surtur: A MOUNTAIN!!!
Thor: The Eternal Flame that Odin keeps locked away in Asgard?
Surtur: Odin is not on Asgard. And your absence has left the throne defenseless.
Thor: Okay, so... where is this crown?
Surtur: [Taps the structure on his head] This is my crown. The source of my power!...
Thor: Oh, that's a crown? I thought it was a big eyebrow.
Surtur: [Annoyed] It's a crown!
Thor: Anyway, it sounds like all I have to do to stop Ragnarök is rip that thing off your head.
Surtur: [Laughs] But Ragnarök has already begun! You cannot stop it! I am Asgard's doom, and so are you! All will suffer! All. Will. BURN.
Thor: Oh, that's intense. You know to be honest, seeing you grow really big and set fire to a planet would be quite the spectacle. But it looks like, I'm gonna have to choose "Option B", where I bust out of these chains, knock that tiara off your head, and stash you away in Asgard's vault. [He has a smug little smirk at the end of this mini-tirade]
Surtur: You cannot stop Ragnarök. Why fight it?
Thor: [Motions his hand out] Because. That's what heroes do! [Smiles dramatically, but after a moment, nothing occurs] Wait, sorry...I didn't time that right. And. Now!
[His hammer, Mjolnir, flies in. Thor grabs the hammer and battles Surtur as the "Immigrant Song" theme by Led Zeppelin plays]
Surtur: [Chuckling evilly] You have made a grave mistake, Odinson!
Thor: Oho, I make grave mistakes all the time. [Sees an army of Surtur's minions charging towards him] Everything seems to work out.
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[Hela approaches to Thor, who is sitting in Odin's throne]
Thor: Sister.
Hela: [Smiling evilly] You're still alive.
Thor: I love what you've done with the place. Redecorating, I see.
Hela: It seems our father's solution to every problem was to cover it up.
Thor: Or to cast it out. [Hela's mouth twists in fury] He told you you were worthy. He said the same thing to me.
Hela: You see, you never knew him, not at his best. [Nostalgic sighs] Odin and I drowned entire civilisations in blood and tears. Where do you think all this gold came from? [Dismissive] And then one day he decided to become a benevolent king. To foster peace, to protect life. [Venomously] To have you.
Thor: I understand why you're angry. And you are my sister, and technically have a claim to the throne. And believe me, I would love for someone else to rule. But it can't be you. You're just the worst.
Hela: Okay. Get up. You're in my seat. [Puts on her headdress]
Thor: [Stands up] You know, Father once told me that a wise king never seeks out war.
Hela: But must always be ready for it!
[The two charge and fight]
Thor: Sister.
Hela: [Smiling evilly] You're still alive.
Thor: I love what you've done with the place. Redecorating, I see.
Hela: It seems our father's solution to every problem was to cover it up.
Thor: Or to cast it out. [Hela's mouth twists in fury] He told you you were worthy. He said the same thing to me.
Hela: You see, you never knew him, not at his best. [Nostalgic sighs] Odin and I drowned entire civilisations in blood and tears. Where do you think all this gold came from? [Dismissive] And then one day he decided to become a benevolent king. To foster peace, to protect life. [Venomously] To have you.
Thor: I understand why you're angry. And you are my sister, and technically have a claim to the throne. And believe me, I would love for someone else to rule. But it can't be you. You're just the worst.
Hela: Okay. Get up. You're in my seat. [Puts on her headdress]
Thor: [Stands up] You know, Father once told me that a wise king never seeks out war.
Hela: But must always be ready for it!
[The two charge and fight]
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[Hela emerges from a portal, having been freed by Odin's passing]
Hela: So he's gone. That's a shame, I would have liked to have seen that.
Thor: You must be Hela. I'm Thor, son of Odin.
Hela: [Disbelieving] Really? You don't look like him.
Loki: [Clearly uneasy] Perhaps we can come to an arrangement?
Hela: [Snarling] You sound like him. Kneel.
Loki: [Affronted] Beg your pardon?
[Hela produces a sword from her arm]
Hela: Kneel, before your Queen.
Thor: Oho, I don't think so. [Thor hurls Mjölnir at her, only for Hela to catch it in one hand] It's not possible!
Hela: [Smiling cruelly] Darling, you have no idea what's possible!
[Hela easily crushes Mjölnir's head]
Hela: So he's gone. That's a shame, I would have liked to have seen that.
Thor: You must be Hela. I'm Thor, son of Odin.
Hela: [Disbelieving] Really? You don't look like him.
Loki: [Clearly uneasy] Perhaps we can come to an arrangement?
Hela: [Snarling] You sound like him. Kneel.
Loki: [Affronted] Beg your pardon?
[Hela produces a sword from her arm]
Hela: Kneel, before your Queen.
Thor: Oho, I don't think so. [Thor hurls Mjölnir at her, only for Hela to catch it in one hand] It's not possible!
Hela: [Smiling cruelly] Darling, you have no idea what's possible!
[Hela easily crushes Mjölnir's head]
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[Post-credits scene: the Grandmaster comes out of a crash-landed ship at Sakaarians]
Grandmaster: Oh. Oh. I... I just... I got to say, I'm proud of you all. This revolution has been a huge success. Yay, us! Pat... pat on the back. Pat on the back. Come on. No? Me too. Because I've been a... a big part of it. Can't have a revolution without somebody to overthrow. So, uh, you're welcome. And, uh, it's a tie.
Grandmaster: Oh. Oh. I... I just... I got to say, I'm proud of you all. This revolution has been a huge success. Yay, us! Pat... pat on the back. Pat on the back. Come on. No? Me too. Because I've been a... a big part of it. Can't have a revolution without somebody to overthrow. So, uh, you're welcome. And, uh, it's a tie.
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[Thor arrives at the Asgardian Palace to see a giant statue of Loki and the crowd watching a play re-enactment of Loki's death]
Loki Actor: Oh, Brother. This is it. I take my leave.
Thor Actor: You fool, you didn't listen!
Loki Actor: I'm sorry.
Thor Actor: Lady Sif, get help!
Sif Actress: [Runs] Somebody, help!
Loki Actor: Sorry for all I've done.
Thor Actor: Shh. It's all right. Hold on.
Loki Actor: I'm sorry I tried to rule Earth.
Thor Actor: [Sobbing] They'd be lucky to have you!
Loki Actor: I'm sorry about that thing with the Tesseract. I just couldn't help myself.
Thor Actor: I know.
Loki Actor: I'm a trickster!
Thor Actor: [Smiles proudly] Yes, so mischievous!
Loki Actor: Sorry about that time I turned you into a frog.
Thor Actor: It was a wonderful joke.
"Odin": [Loki is disguised as Odin, watching the play with immense glee] 'Twas indeed hilarious.
Thor Actor: You are the savior of Asgard.
Loki Actor: Tell my story.
Thor Actor: I will.
Loki Actor: Build a statue for me.
Thor Actor: We will build a big statue for you.
Loki Actor: With my helmet on, with the big bendy horns.
Thor Actor: [Sobbing] I will tell Father what you did here today.
"Odin": [Whispering] I didn't do it for him.
Loki Actor: I didn't do it...for him.
[Loki Actor "dies" as the choir sings chorus]
Thor Actor: [As hammy as humanly possible...for an Asgardian, anyway] NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Odin Actor: And so, Loki died of his wounds, giving his life for ours. He fought back those disgusting elves, he brought peace to the realm. [a blue boy appears on stage] Loki, my boy. 'Twas many moons ago I found you on that frostbitten battlefield. On that day, I did not yet see in you, Asgard's savior. No. You were merely a little blue baby icicle... that melted this old fool's heart.
Loki Actor: Oh, Brother. This is it. I take my leave.
Thor Actor: You fool, you didn't listen!
Loki Actor: I'm sorry.
Thor Actor: Lady Sif, get help!
Sif Actress: [Runs] Somebody, help!
Loki Actor: Sorry for all I've done.
Thor Actor: Shh. It's all right. Hold on.
Loki Actor: I'm sorry I tried to rule Earth.
Thor Actor: [Sobbing] They'd be lucky to have you!
Loki Actor: I'm sorry about that thing with the Tesseract. I just couldn't help myself.
Thor Actor: I know.
Loki Actor: I'm a trickster!
Thor Actor: [Smiles proudly] Yes, so mischievous!
Loki Actor: Sorry about that time I turned you into a frog.
Thor Actor: It was a wonderful joke.
"Odin": [Loki is disguised as Odin, watching the play with immense glee] 'Twas indeed hilarious.
Thor Actor: You are the savior of Asgard.
Loki Actor: Tell my story.
Thor Actor: I will.
Loki Actor: Build a statue for me.
Thor Actor: We will build a big statue for you.
Loki Actor: With my helmet on, with the big bendy horns.
Thor Actor: [Sobbing] I will tell Father what you did here today.
"Odin": [Whispering] I didn't do it for him.
Loki Actor: I didn't do it...for him.
[Loki Actor "dies" as the choir sings chorus]
Thor Actor: [As hammy as humanly possible...for an Asgardian, anyway] NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Odin Actor: And so, Loki died of his wounds, giving his life for ours. He fought back those disgusting elves, he brought peace to the realm. [a blue boy appears on stage] Loki, my boy. 'Twas many moons ago I found you on that frostbitten battlefield. On that day, I did not yet see in you, Asgard's savior. No. You were merely a little blue baby icicle... that melted this old fool's heart.
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[Thor turns on the Quinjet's computer and places his hand on the handprint scanner]
Quinjet Computer: Voice activation required.
Thor: Thor.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Thor, son of Odin.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: God of Thunder.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
[Pause]
Thor: Strongest Avenger.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Strongest. Avenger.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Ugh. Damn you, Stark. "Point Break".
Quinjet Computer: Welcome, Point Break.
Quinjet Computer: Voice activation required.
Thor: Thor.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Thor, son of Odin.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: God of Thunder.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
[Pause]
Thor: Strongest Avenger.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Strongest. Avenger.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Ugh. Damn you, Stark. "Point Break".
Quinjet Computer: Welcome, Point Break.
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[Thor, strapped to the chair, suddenly finds himself slowly moving forward. After a beat...the walls light up. He struggles against his restraints.]
Soothing Voice: Fear not, for you are found. You are home... and there is no going back. No one leaves this place. But what is this place? The answer in Sakaar. [The tunnel walls show images of Sakaar's place in the Cosmos.] Surrounded by cosmic gateways, Sakaar lives on the edge of the known and unknown. [Images of the wormholes that cover Sakaar's atmosphere.] It is the collection point for all lost and unloved things. Like you. But here on Sakaar, you are significant. You are valuable. Here, you are loved, and no one loves you more than the Grandmaster. Grandmaster. [Grandmaster, in silhouette, arrives on Sakaar.] He is the original. The first lost, and the first found. The creator of Sakaar and the father of the Contest of Champions. [Aliens in the arena battle to the death.] Where once you were nothing, now you are something. You are the property of the Grandmaster. Congratulations! You will meet the Grandmaster in five seconds. [Images around the tunnel begin speeding up. Chaos, violence, and confusion mixed in with Grandmaster's face. Thor, already bewildered, looks on the verge of panic.] Prepare yourself. Prepare yourself. You are now meeting... The Grandmaster!
Thor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Soothing Voice: Fear not, for you are found. You are home... and there is no going back. No one leaves this place. But what is this place? The answer in Sakaar. [The tunnel walls show images of Sakaar's place in the Cosmos.] Surrounded by cosmic gateways, Sakaar lives on the edge of the known and unknown. [Images of the wormholes that cover Sakaar's atmosphere.] It is the collection point for all lost and unloved things. Like you. But here on Sakaar, you are significant. You are valuable. Here, you are loved, and no one loves you more than the Grandmaster. Grandmaster. [Grandmaster, in silhouette, arrives on Sakaar.] He is the original. The first lost, and the first found. The creator of Sakaar and the father of the Contest of Champions. [Aliens in the arena battle to the death.] Where once you were nothing, now you are something. You are the property of the Grandmaster. Congratulations! You will meet the Grandmaster in five seconds. [Images around the tunnel begin speeding up. Chaos, violence, and confusion mixed in with Grandmaster's face. Thor, already bewildered, looks on the verge of panic.] Prepare yourself. Prepare yourself. You are now meeting... The Grandmaster!
Thor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
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[Beating Thor in their duel] So simple, even a blind man could see it! [She slashes her sword across Thor's face, cutting out his right eye, then winces] Ooh. Now you remind me of Dad.
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[Duelling to the death with Thor] To be honest, I expected more! [...] Here's the difference between us. I'm Odin's firstborn, the rightful heir, the saviour of Asgard...and you're nothing!