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[Derek sees his reflection in a puddle] Who am I? [the reflection speaks back] I don't know.
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[hypnotizing Derek] Hi Derek! My name's Little Cletus. I'm just a regular kid and want you to know the real truth about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated. Why, back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!
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[Talking about the files] They're in the computer?
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[to Derek] I friggin' worship you, man.
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A week? What, are you having a whack attack? I saw you this afternoon, dum-dum.
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As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become Derelicte!
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At the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really good looking.
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But why male models?
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Deal with that!
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Do as you are trained... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!
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Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your "do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way"?...
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Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
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I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.
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I felt like, "This guy's really hurting me." And it hurt.
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I hear words like "handsomeness" and "incredibly chiseled features" and for me that's like a vanity that I don't buy into.