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Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man: Oh. This'd be a good time to turn invisible.
Miles Morales: Yep.
Peter B. Parker: Okay, not gonna turn invisible. Selecting a bagel. Act super normal.
Scientist #1: Spider-Man?
Peter B. Parker: You know, that's funny, – I get that a lot.
Miles Morales: Hey.
Scientist #2: Spider-Man?
Scientist #3: Hey! Hands up!
Peter B. Parker: Now we do a switchy-switchy.
Scientist #3: Get back here!
Scientist #4: Where do you think you're going?
Scientist #5: He took a bagel!
Peter B. Parker: Time to swing, just like I taught ya.
Miles Morales: When did you teach me that?
Peter B. Parker: I didn't. It's a little joke for team-building.
Miles Morales: Hey!
Peter B. Parker: All right, you ready?
Miles Morales: Of course I'm not ready! I can't do this yet!
Peter B. Parker: Everybody knows that the best way to learn is under intense life-threatening pressure.
Miles Morales: Come on, come on, come on. Uh-oh.
Peter B. Parker: What are you doing down there?
Miles Morales: I run better than I swing.
Peter B. Parker: You gotta swing or they'll catch you. This is what you wanted. Uh-oh.
Dr. Olivia Octavius / Doctor Octopus: Come back, little boy.
Peter B. Parker: Aim with your hips! Look where you want it to hit. Square your shoulders. Don't forget to follow through! Don't shoot off your back foot.
Miles Morales: That's too many things!
Peter B. Parker: Then stop listening to me!
Miles Morales: That's the best idea you've had all day!
Peter B. Parker: Nice, Miles! Good. You're doin' it. Double tap to release and thwip it out again. Thwip and release. – And thwip. Release. Thwip.
Miles Morales: And release.
Peter B. Parker: You're a natural.
Miles and Peter B.: Thwip. Release.
Peter B. Parker: Feel the rhythm?
Miles and Peter B.: Thwip. And release!
Peter B. Parker: Good, Miles.
Miles Morales: I gotta say, you're amazing, man.
Peter B. Parker: We're a little team! Me as the teacher who could still do it. You as the student who can do it, just not as good. I'm proud of us. Is there something you want to say to me?
Miles Morales: Peter!
Peter B. Parker: What the–? – Who did that?
Gwanda: Hey, guys.
Miles Morales: Gwanda?
Gwanda: It's Gwen, actually.
Peter B. Parker: Oh, you know her. Very cool.
Gwen: I'm from another dimension. I mean, another-another dimension. All right, people. Let's start at the beginning one last time. My name is Gwen Stacy. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for the last two years, I've been the one and only Spider-Woman. You guys know the rest. I joined a band. Saved my dad. I couldn't save my best friend, Peter Parker, so now I save everyone else. And I don't do friends anymore, just to avoid any distractions. And one day this weird thing happened. And I mean, like, really weird. I was blown into last week. Literally. I landed in New York, but not my New York. Lucky for these folks, Spider-Man was there to save the day. My Spider-sense told me to head to Visions Academy. Wasn't sure why until – I met you.
Miles Morales: (nervously) I like your haircut.
Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman: You don't get to like my haircut. Let's go.
Miles Morales: How many more Spider-people are there?
Peter B. Parker: Save it for Comic-Con.
Miles Morales: What's Comic-Con?
Miles Morales: Yep.
Peter B. Parker: Okay, not gonna turn invisible. Selecting a bagel. Act super normal.
Scientist #1: Spider-Man?
Peter B. Parker: You know, that's funny, – I get that a lot.
Miles Morales: Hey.
Scientist #2: Spider-Man?
Scientist #3: Hey! Hands up!
Peter B. Parker: Now we do a switchy-switchy.
Scientist #3: Get back here!
Scientist #4: Where do you think you're going?
Scientist #5: He took a bagel!
Peter B. Parker: Time to swing, just like I taught ya.
Miles Morales: When did you teach me that?
Peter B. Parker: I didn't. It's a little joke for team-building.
Miles Morales: Hey!
Peter B. Parker: All right, you ready?
Miles Morales: Of course I'm not ready! I can't do this yet!
Peter B. Parker: Everybody knows that the best way to learn is under intense life-threatening pressure.
Miles Morales: Come on, come on, come on. Uh-oh.
Peter B. Parker: What are you doing down there?
Miles Morales: I run better than I swing.
Peter B. Parker: You gotta swing or they'll catch you. This is what you wanted. Uh-oh.
Dr. Olivia Octavius / Doctor Octopus: Come back, little boy.
Peter B. Parker: Aim with your hips! Look where you want it to hit. Square your shoulders. Don't forget to follow through! Don't shoot off your back foot.
Miles Morales: That's too many things!
Peter B. Parker: Then stop listening to me!
Miles Morales: That's the best idea you've had all day!
Peter B. Parker: Nice, Miles! Good. You're doin' it. Double tap to release and thwip it out again. Thwip and release. – And thwip. Release. Thwip.
Miles Morales: And release.
Peter B. Parker: You're a natural.
Miles and Peter B.: Thwip. Release.
Peter B. Parker: Feel the rhythm?
Miles and Peter B.: Thwip. And release!
Peter B. Parker: Good, Miles.
Miles Morales: I gotta say, you're amazing, man.
Peter B. Parker: We're a little team! Me as the teacher who could still do it. You as the student who can do it, just not as good. I'm proud of us. Is there something you want to say to me?
Miles Morales: Peter!
Peter B. Parker: What the–? – Who did that?
Gwanda: Hey, guys.
Miles Morales: Gwanda?
Gwanda: It's Gwen, actually.
Peter B. Parker: Oh, you know her. Very cool.
Gwen: I'm from another dimension. I mean, another-another dimension. All right, people. Let's start at the beginning one last time. My name is Gwen Stacy. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for the last two years, I've been the one and only Spider-Woman. You guys know the rest. I joined a band. Saved my dad. I couldn't save my best friend, Peter Parker, so now I save everyone else. And I don't do friends anymore, just to avoid any distractions. And one day this weird thing happened. And I mean, like, really weird. I was blown into last week. Literally. I landed in New York, but not my New York. Lucky for these folks, Spider-Man was there to save the day. My Spider-sense told me to head to Visions Academy. Wasn't sure why until – I met you.
Miles Morales: (nervously) I like your haircut.
Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman: You don't get to like my haircut. Let's go.
Miles Morales: How many more Spider-people are there?
Peter B. Parker: Save it for Comic-Con.
Miles Morales: What's Comic-Con?
View Quote
Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man: We should probably go. (Somewhere in Queens…)
Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman: Peter, we're literally on the doorstep.
Peter B. Parker: Bad idea. This is a bad idea.
Gwen Stacy: Just relax.
Aunt May: You guys are all very sweet, but no more fans today, please.
Peter B. Parker: I'm not ready for this.
Aunt May: Peter?
Peter B. Parker: Hey, Aunt May. So this is gonna sound crazy, but I'm pretty sure that I'm from an…
Aunt May: An alternate dimension.
Peter B. Parker: Yeah.
Aunt May: You look tired, Peter.
Peter B. Parker: Well, I am tired.
Aunt May: And older. And thicker.
Peter B. Parker: Yeah. I've heard that already.
Aunt May: Oh, jeez. Are those sweatpants?
Gwen Stacy: Yup, that's what they are.
Miles Morales: I was there, when it all happened. I am so sorry.
Aunt May: And what dimension are you from?
Miles Morales: Brooklyn. Did Peter have a place where we could make another one of these?
Aunt May: A goober. Follow me.
Peter B. Parker: Oh, yeah, I got one of these, too. A little, old shed where I keep my Spider-gear. (May unlocks the door, opening the elevator.) I mean, this place is pretentious.
(In the subfloor it revealed to be the Spider-Cave.)
Miles Morales: Whoa. Dude. Was yours anything like this?
Peter B. Parker: Mine was like this, but take away the jeep, the plane. Imagine it way smaller. Imagine a futon. I feel sad for this guy.
Miles Morales: Hey, Peter. I think this is a cape.
Gwen Stacy / Spider-Woman: Peter, we're literally on the doorstep.
Peter B. Parker: Bad idea. This is a bad idea.
Gwen Stacy: Just relax.
Aunt May: You guys are all very sweet, but no more fans today, please.
Peter B. Parker: I'm not ready for this.
Aunt May: Peter?
Peter B. Parker: Hey, Aunt May. So this is gonna sound crazy, but I'm pretty sure that I'm from an…
Aunt May: An alternate dimension.
Peter B. Parker: Yeah.
Aunt May: You look tired, Peter.
Peter B. Parker: Well, I am tired.
Aunt May: And older. And thicker.
Peter B. Parker: Yeah. I've heard that already.
Aunt May: Oh, jeez. Are those sweatpants?
Gwen Stacy: Yup, that's what they are.
Miles Morales: I was there, when it all happened. I am so sorry.
Aunt May: And what dimension are you from?
Miles Morales: Brooklyn. Did Peter have a place where we could make another one of these?
Aunt May: A goober. Follow me.
Peter B. Parker: Oh, yeah, I got one of these, too. A little, old shed where I keep my Spider-gear. (May unlocks the door, opening the elevator.) I mean, this place is pretentious.
(In the subfloor it revealed to be the Spider-Cave.)
Miles Morales: Whoa. Dude. Was yours anything like this?
Peter B. Parker: Mine was like this, but take away the jeep, the plane. Imagine it way smaller. Imagine a futon. I feel sad for this guy.
Miles Morales: Hey, Peter. I think this is a cape.
View Quote
Peter B. Parker / Spider-Man: What was that? Kid electrocuted me– with his hands. [Spider-Man tingling] You're like me.
Miles Morales: I got some questions.
[Peter B. struggles to break free]
Miles Morales: Why do you look like Peter Parker?
Peter B. Parker: Because I am Peter Parker.
Miles Morales: Then why aren't you dead? And why is your hair different? Why are you older? And why is your body– a different shape?
Peter B. Parker: Pretty sure you just called me fat.
Miles Morales: No. No, just–
Peter B. Parker: You don't look so hot either, kid. Most superheroes don't wear their own merch.
Miles Morales: Are you a ghost?
Peter B. Parker: No.
Miles Morales: Are you a zombie?
Peter B. Parker: Stop it.
Miles Morales: Am I a zombie?
Peter B. Parker: You're not even close.
Miles Morales: Are you from another dimension? Like a parallel universe where things are like this universe but different? And you're Spider-Man in that universe? But somehow traveled to this universe, but you don't know how?
Peter B. Parker: Wow. That was really just a guess?
Miles Morales: Well– we learned about it in physics.
Peter B. Parker: Quantum theory.
Miles Morales: This is amazing! You can teach me like Peter said he would.
Peter B. Parker: Before he died.
Miles Morales: Yeah. Exactly.
Peter B. Parker: Yeah, right.
Miles Morales: Look, I made a promise to him.
Peter B. Parker: Here's lesson number one, kid. Don't watch the mouth. Watch the hands.
Miles Morales: Peter, seriously– [Thwips Miles' mouth shut]
Peter B. Parker: Trust me, kid. This'll all make you a better Spider-Man. [Yells as he starts to glitch]
Miles Morales: Hey, are you okay?
Peter B. Parker: No, I'm not.
Miles Morales: What's going on with your body?
Peter B. Parker: I don't think my atoms are real jazzed about being in the wrong dimension. [Glitches] [Peter B. groans] Look, I'm not looking for a side gig as a Spider-Man coach. I got a lot going on in my dimension. Like a lot–
Miles Morales: "With great power comes great–"
Peter B. Parker: Don't you dare finish that sentence. Don't do it! I'm sick of it. [Glitches] Want my advice? Go back to being a regular kid.
Miles Morales: I don't have a choice! Kingpin's got a supercollider. He's tryin' to kill me.
Peter B. Parker: Wait a second. What did you just say?
Miles Morales: Kingpin's tryin' to kill me.
Peter B. Parker: Who cares about that. Where's the collider?
Miles Morales: Brooklyn. Under Fisk Tower.
Peter B. Parker: Goodbye.
Miles Morales: Where you going?
Peter B. Parker: When it runs again, I'll jump in and get back to my life.
Miles Morales: You can't let them run it. I'm supposed to destroy it so it never runs again or everyone's gonna die.
Peter B. Parker: "Or everyone's gonna die." That is what they always say. But there's always a little bit of time before everybody dies– and that's when I do my best work.
Miles Morales: Aren't you gonna need this?
Peter B. Parker: Aw, you have a goober. Give it.
Miles Morales: Whoa, whoa. Wait, no. Not so fast. He called it an override key.
Peter B. Parker: There's always a bypass key, a virus key, a who-cares key. I can never remember, so I always call it a goober. Give it.
Miles Morales: I need it to destroy the collider.
Peter B. Parker: I need it to go home.
Miles Morales: No or I'll swallow it. Don't play with me.
Peter B. Parker: What?
Miles Morales: I said– [Thwip the goober out of his mouth] Hey!
Peter B. Parker: The collider created a portal that brought me here. And I have to get– Did you break this?
Miles Morales: No, it broke. I don't remember what happened.
Peter B. Parker: See, this is why I never had kids. This is why I never did kids.
Miles Morales: Can't we make another one?
Peter B. Parker: No. We can't do anything. Thanks to you, I have to re-steal what your guy stole from Alchemax… and make another one of these.
Miles Morales: If I don't turn off the collider after you leave– everyone in this city, my parents, my uncle and millions of others, will die. And you're just gonna go home and leave me here to figure this out for myself? You good with that, Spider-Man?
Peter B. Parker: Yeah. [Miles sighs] What are you doing?
Miles Morales: Making you feel guilty. Is it working?
Peter B. Parker: How could it–? No. No. Look at me. Does it look like it's working? No. No, it's not– [chuckles] Ahh! No! No! No,no,no! Do not let him win! All right, kid. You win. Come on, we don't have a second to lose.
Miles Morales: I got some questions.
[Peter B. struggles to break free]
Miles Morales: Why do you look like Peter Parker?
Peter B. Parker: Because I am Peter Parker.
Miles Morales: Then why aren't you dead? And why is your hair different? Why are you older? And why is your body– a different shape?
Peter B. Parker: Pretty sure you just called me fat.
Miles Morales: No. No, just–
Peter B. Parker: You don't look so hot either, kid. Most superheroes don't wear their own merch.
Miles Morales: Are you a ghost?
Peter B. Parker: No.
Miles Morales: Are you a zombie?
Peter B. Parker: Stop it.
Miles Morales: Am I a zombie?
Peter B. Parker: You're not even close.
Miles Morales: Are you from another dimension? Like a parallel universe where things are like this universe but different? And you're Spider-Man in that universe? But somehow traveled to this universe, but you don't know how?
Peter B. Parker: Wow. That was really just a guess?
Miles Morales: Well– we learned about it in physics.
Peter B. Parker: Quantum theory.
Miles Morales: This is amazing! You can teach me like Peter said he would.
Peter B. Parker: Before he died.
Miles Morales: Yeah. Exactly.
Peter B. Parker: Yeah, right.
Miles Morales: Look, I made a promise to him.
Peter B. Parker: Here's lesson number one, kid. Don't watch the mouth. Watch the hands.
Miles Morales: Peter, seriously– [Thwips Miles' mouth shut]
Peter B. Parker: Trust me, kid. This'll all make you a better Spider-Man. [Yells as he starts to glitch]
Miles Morales: Hey, are you okay?
Peter B. Parker: No, I'm not.
Miles Morales: What's going on with your body?
Peter B. Parker: I don't think my atoms are real jazzed about being in the wrong dimension. [Glitches] [Peter B. groans] Look, I'm not looking for a side gig as a Spider-Man coach. I got a lot going on in my dimension. Like a lot–
Miles Morales: "With great power comes great–"
Peter B. Parker: Don't you dare finish that sentence. Don't do it! I'm sick of it. [Glitches] Want my advice? Go back to being a regular kid.
Miles Morales: I don't have a choice! Kingpin's got a supercollider. He's tryin' to kill me.
Peter B. Parker: Wait a second. What did you just say?
Miles Morales: Kingpin's tryin' to kill me.
Peter B. Parker: Who cares about that. Where's the collider?
Miles Morales: Brooklyn. Under Fisk Tower.
Peter B. Parker: Goodbye.
Miles Morales: Where you going?
Peter B. Parker: When it runs again, I'll jump in and get back to my life.
Miles Morales: You can't let them run it. I'm supposed to destroy it so it never runs again or everyone's gonna die.
Peter B. Parker: "Or everyone's gonna die." That is what they always say. But there's always a little bit of time before everybody dies– and that's when I do my best work.
Miles Morales: Aren't you gonna need this?
Peter B. Parker: Aw, you have a goober. Give it.
Miles Morales: Whoa, whoa. Wait, no. Not so fast. He called it an override key.
Peter B. Parker: There's always a bypass key, a virus key, a who-cares key. I can never remember, so I always call it a goober. Give it.
Miles Morales: I need it to destroy the collider.
Peter B. Parker: I need it to go home.
Miles Morales: No or I'll swallow it. Don't play with me.
Peter B. Parker: What?
Miles Morales: I said– [Thwip the goober out of his mouth] Hey!
Peter B. Parker: The collider created a portal that brought me here. And I have to get– Did you break this?
Miles Morales: No, it broke. I don't remember what happened.
Peter B. Parker: See, this is why I never had kids. This is why I never did kids.
Miles Morales: Can't we make another one?
Peter B. Parker: No. We can't do anything. Thanks to you, I have to re-steal what your guy stole from Alchemax… and make another one of these.
Miles Morales: If I don't turn off the collider after you leave– everyone in this city, my parents, my uncle and millions of others, will die. And you're just gonna go home and leave me here to figure this out for myself? You good with that, Spider-Man?
Peter B. Parker: Yeah. [Miles sighs] What are you doing?
Miles Morales: Making you feel guilty. Is it working?
Peter B. Parker: How could it–? No. No. Look at me. Does it look like it's working? No. No, it's not– [chuckles] Ahh! No! No! No,no,no! Do not let him win! All right, kid. You win. Come on, we don't have a second to lose.
View Quote
Peter Parker / Spider-Man: Did you know your shoes are untied?
Miles Morales: Uh-huh.
Peter Parker: This is a onesie, so I don't really have to worry about it. [Spider-Senses are aligning with each other.] I thought I was the only one. You're like me.
Miles Morales: I don't wanna be.
Peter Parker: I don't think you have a choice, kiddo. Got a lot going through your head, I'm sure.
Miles Morales: Yeah.
Peter Parker: You're gonna be fine. I can help you. If you stick around, I can show you the ropes.
Miles Morales: Yeah.
[Rumbling]
Peter Parker: I just need to destroy this big machine real quick... before the space-time continuum collapses. Don't move. See you in a bit.
Miles Morales: Uh-huh.
Peter Parker: This is a onesie, so I don't really have to worry about it. [Spider-Senses are aligning with each other.] I thought I was the only one. You're like me.
Miles Morales: I don't wanna be.
Peter Parker: I don't think you have a choice, kiddo. Got a lot going through your head, I'm sure.
Miles Morales: Yeah.
Peter Parker: You're gonna be fine. I can help you. If you stick around, I can show you the ropes.
Miles Morales: Yeah.
[Rumbling]
Peter Parker: I just need to destroy this big machine real quick... before the space-time continuum collapses. Don't move. See you in a bit.
View Quote
[first lines]
Peter Parker / Spider-Man [narrating]: Alright, let's do this one last time. My name is Peter Parker. I was bitten by radioactive spider. And for ten years, I've been the one– and only– Spider-Man. I’m pretty sure you know the rest.
Ben Parker: With great power, comes great responsibility.
Peter Parker [narrating]: I saved a bunch of people, fell in love, saved the city. And then I saved the city again. And again and again and again. And I did, uh– I did this. [cuts to Peter doing the infamous dance from Spider-Man 3, except this time in his Spider-Man outfit] We don’t really talk about this. Look, I'm a comic book. I'm a cereal. Did a Christmas album. I have an excellent theme song.
TV show: Spider-Man, Spider-Man–
Peter Parker [narrating]: And a so-so popsicle. I mean, I've looked worse. But after everything... AH! [narrating] –I still love being Spider-Man. I mean, who wouldn't? So no matter how many hits I take– I always find a way to come back. Because the only thing standing between this city and oblivion– is me. There's only one Spider-Man. And you're looking at him.
Peter Parker / Spider-Man [narrating]: Alright, let's do this one last time. My name is Peter Parker. I was bitten by radioactive spider. And for ten years, I've been the one– and only– Spider-Man. I’m pretty sure you know the rest.
Ben Parker: With great power, comes great responsibility.
Peter Parker [narrating]: I saved a bunch of people, fell in love, saved the city. And then I saved the city again. And again and again and again. And I did, uh– I did this. [cuts to Peter doing the infamous dance from Spider-Man 3, except this time in his Spider-Man outfit] We don’t really talk about this. Look, I'm a comic book. I'm a cereal. Did a Christmas album. I have an excellent theme song.
TV show: Spider-Man, Spider-Man–
Peter Parker [narrating]: And a so-so popsicle. I mean, I've looked worse. But after everything... AH! [narrating] –I still love being Spider-Man. I mean, who wouldn't? So no matter how many hits I take– I always find a way to come back. Because the only thing standing between this city and oblivion– is me. There's only one Spider-Man. And you're looking at him.
View Quote
[John Part – St. Emma's Fire]: I can see a new horizon Underneath the blazing sky I'll be where the eagle's Flying higher–
Peter B. Parker: And it's a no on the cape.
Miles Morales: I think it's cool.
Peter B. Parker: Take that off. It's disrespectful. Spider-Man doesn't wear a cape.
Peter B. Parker: And it's a no on the cape.
Miles Morales: I think it's cool.
Peter B. Parker: Take that off. It's disrespectful. Spider-Man doesn't wear a cape.
View Quote
[Post-credit scene – a caption reads "Meanwhile, in Nueva York..." and a hologram woman appears in a darkly-lit spacious hallway]
Lyla: You're a bit late.
Miguel O'Hara / Spider-Man 2099: [offscreen] We can't all be everywhere at once.
Lyla: A little text might have been nice.
Miguel O'Hara: I was gone for less than two hours. What happened?
Lyla: Okay, okay, okay. I know what it looks like, but– here's the good news.
Miguel: Oh, here we go.
Lyla: The multiverse didn't collapse.
O'Hara: Oh, cool!
Lyla: A little touch and go. But it worked out.
O'Hara: Great story. Hey, did you finish the goober?
Lyla: It's not a goober. It's a gizmo.
O'Hara: Do you always have to call me out? It's just really frustrating and it bums me out.
Lyla: Don't get too excited, Miguel. It's just a prototype.
O'Hara: Not excited. [the watch attaches itself to his wrist] Ow!
Lyla: But you could be the first person to make an autonomous multiverse jump, or the last.
O'Hara: Okay, so we're just– gonna roll the dice on this?
Lyla: So what do you say, pal? Where do you want to go first?
Spider-Man: 2099: Let's start at the beginning, one last time. Earth-67. [jumps into Earth-67]
1967: Whoa! What the–?
2099: I'm Spider-Man. I need you to come with me.
1967: [pointing at Miguel] Who the heck are you?
2099: [pointing back] I–I just told you. Now listen, listen. I'm from the future.
1967: [pointing back] How dare you point at me!
2099: [pointing back] You–you were pointing first.
1967: It's rude to point.
2099: You're being very rude! You're not even believing what I'm saying! You're saying I'm not who I say I am!
[scene focuses on J. Jonah Jameson and a NYPD officer]
Police officer: Which one pointed first?
J. Jonah Jameson: Spider-Man pointed first. Obviously!
Spider-Man: [continuing to point at each other] 2099: You're pointing at me right now as you say that! Look at you! Look at your finger! Look at your finger right now!
1967: I'm not pointing, you're pointing. I'm just pointing out your pointing. Which is different from normal pointing.
2099: What is it doing?! You are pointing...
1967: You haven't seen pointing until I'm through with you, and then you'll know–
2099: YOU'RE accusing ME of pointing when you're–!!
[scene cuts suddenly to a title card reading "THE END"]
Lyla: You're a bit late.
Miguel O'Hara / Spider-Man 2099: [offscreen] We can't all be everywhere at once.
Lyla: A little text might have been nice.
Miguel O'Hara: I was gone for less than two hours. What happened?
Lyla: Okay, okay, okay. I know what it looks like, but– here's the good news.
Miguel: Oh, here we go.
Lyla: The multiverse didn't collapse.
O'Hara: Oh, cool!
Lyla: A little touch and go. But it worked out.
O'Hara: Great story. Hey, did you finish the goober?
Lyla: It's not a goober. It's a gizmo.
O'Hara: Do you always have to call me out? It's just really frustrating and it bums me out.
Lyla: Don't get too excited, Miguel. It's just a prototype.
O'Hara: Not excited. [the watch attaches itself to his wrist] Ow!
Lyla: But you could be the first person to make an autonomous multiverse jump, or the last.
O'Hara: Okay, so we're just– gonna roll the dice on this?
Lyla: So what do you say, pal? Where do you want to go first?
Spider-Man: 2099: Let's start at the beginning, one last time. Earth-67. [jumps into Earth-67]
1967: Whoa! What the–?
2099: I'm Spider-Man. I need you to come with me.
1967: [pointing at Miguel] Who the heck are you?
2099: [pointing back] I–I just told you. Now listen, listen. I'm from the future.
1967: [pointing back] How dare you point at me!
2099: [pointing back] You–you were pointing first.
1967: It's rude to point.
2099: You're being very rude! You're not even believing what I'm saying! You're saying I'm not who I say I am!
[scene focuses on J. Jonah Jameson and a NYPD officer]
Police officer: Which one pointed first?
J. Jonah Jameson: Spider-Man pointed first. Obviously!
Spider-Man: [continuing to point at each other] 2099: You're pointing at me right now as you say that! Look at you! Look at your finger! Look at your finger right now!
1967: I'm not pointing, you're pointing. I'm just pointing out your pointing. Which is different from normal pointing.
2099: What is it doing?! You are pointing...
1967: You haven't seen pointing until I'm through with you, and then you'll know–
2099: YOU'RE accusing ME of pointing when you're–!!
[scene cuts suddenly to a title card reading "THE END"]
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[Peter B. Parker: This could literately not get any weirder.] It can get weirder. I just washed my hands, that’s why they’re wet. No other reason.
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[after Aunt May tells them to take the impending fight outside] We don't pick the ballroom, we just dance.
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[final words to Kingpin before his death] I know what you're trying to do– and it won't work. They're gone.
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[last words before returning to her universe] Thank you, Miles. From both of us.
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[last words before returning to his universe] I love you all. I'm taking this cube thing with me. I don't understand it. But I will.
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[last words to Miles before returning to his universe] I want you to have this. It'll fit in your pocket. That's all folks.
[against scorpion]you got a problem with cartoons?
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[narrating] Alright, people, let’s do this one last time. My name is Peter B. Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for the last 22 years– I thought I was the one and only Spider-Man. What a day. [narrating] I'm pretty sure you know the rest. You see, I saved the city, fell in love, I got married– saved the city some more, maybe too much. My marriage got testy, made some dicey money choices. Don’t invest in a spider-themed restaurant. Then like 15 years passed. Blah, blah, blah. Super boring. I broke my back, a drone flew into my face, I buried Aunt May. My wife and I– split up. But I handled it like a champion. [crying in the shower] 'Cause, you know what, no matter how many times I get hit, I always get back up. And I got a lot of time to reflect and work on myself. Did you know that seahorses, that they mate for life? Could you imagine? A seahorse seeing another seahorse– and then making it work? [line ringing as he trys to call MJ] She wanted kids and– And it scared me. [Hangs up] I'm pretty sure I broke her heart. Flash-forward: I'm in my apartment doing push-ups– doing ab crunches, getting strong– when this weird thing happened. And I gotta say, weird things happen to me a lot. But this was real weird. [Yells as he getting sucked into the wormhole] [screaming as he's heralding downtown] [Grunting as he hits everything] Ow! [narrating] You see, I was in New York, but the things were different. Also, I was dead. And blonde. I was kind of perfect. It was like looking in a mirror. (Well, in a– different way.) I have a feeling that the thing that brought me here was the thing that got him killed. You wanna know what happened next? Me too.
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[to the tune of the Spider-Man theme] Doo-be do. Doo-be do. Yub-yub, doo-bee do, doo-bee-do. Watch out! Here comes the Spider-Man! You like my new toy? Cost me a fortune, but hey, can't take it with you, right? You came all this way. Watch the test. It's a hell of a frickin' light show, you're gonna love this.