Superbad quotes

View Quote Becca: Mmmm, I'm so wet!
Evan: Yeah... they told us that would happen in health class...

View Quote Becca: You have such a smooth ****!
Evan: Yeah, you would too... if you were a man.

View Quote Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
Seth: What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.
Evan: She had back problems, man. Anyway, it's like they made them better. They're more... symmetrical, supple, firm.
Seth: Alright, I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's make a move.

View Quote Evan: I still think you have a chance with Jules man. Really I mean she got incredibly hot over the summer and she obviously hasn't realized it yet cause she's still always talking to you and flirting with you and stuff.
Seth: Are you out of your mind! Look at Jules' dating record ok. She dated Dan Remick who's had a 6 pack since like kindergarten, Jason Stone who looks like ****ing Zack Morris, and Matt Muir, Matt Muir, he's the sweetest guy ever! Have you ever stared into his eyes? It was like the first time I ever heard the Beatles.

View Quote Evan: I'm just sick of all the amateur stuff, y'know? I mean, like, if I'm paying top dollar I want a little production value, y'know like some editing, transition, something, some music...
Seth: Yeah well y'know, I'm sorry, Evan, that the Coen Brothers don't direct the porn that I watch. They're hard to get a hold of, okay?

View Quote Fogel: I got a boner!
Nicola: Ha ha good. Do you have a condom?
Fogel: Yes...and lube!

View Quote Fogel: Wait for me Nicola! Wait for me on the outside!
Nicola: We were gonna go to Hawaii...

View Quote Fogell: Can I hold your gun?
Officer Slater: [Pauses for a moment] ...Yeah, sure, I don't see why not.
Officer Michaels: I think everyone should hold a gun at least twice.

View Quote Gym Teacher: Seth, get off the field
Seth: [kicks ball into the stands] GOAL!
Gym Teacher: You're getting that!
Seth: No, I'm not!

View Quote Jules: Seth, are you crying?
Seth: No I just have something in both my eyes...

View Quote McLovin: What's it like to have guns?
Officer Michaels: It's like having two ****s... if one of your ****s could kill someone!

View Quote Officer Slater: Alright now guys, check this out... probably the greatest move in donut-spinning history, you paying attention? Behold the upward spiraling pigtail!
Officer Michaels: Why is it called that?
Officer Slater: I don't know!
Officer Michaels: Make the badge proud, Slater! [to Fogell] He's not usually this drunk when he does this, but I think that could make it more cool.

View Quote Seth: [referring to Evan's mother] I am truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby.
Evan: Yeah, well, at least you got to suck on your dad's dick.

View Quote Seth: Enjoy your remaining years!
Old Lady: I will. Enjoy ****ing Jules!
Seth: I will!

View Quote Seth: I can get you guys alcohol.
Jules: Really? Seriously?
Seth: Yes, for sure.
Jules: That would be awesome. Thank you. You know, because we're worried about that. That would be great. Plus, you know, you scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well, Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my ****.