Superbad quotes

View Quote Seth: I joined this class because I thought I was going to be cooking with a partner. But she's never here, and I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work.
Teacher: I didn't invent odd numbers, Seth.
Seth: I know, but look at Evan. Just look at him.
Evan: [His partner is tying on his apron] Hey, don't keep me waiting much longer, I'm getting impatient up here.
Seth: I'm over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire life, and it's B.S. - excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry; I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke - no offense - it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit - and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this shitty food - no offense - and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a ****in' break!...I'm sorry for cursing.
[Teacher is in disbelief of Seth's speech]
Teacher: All right, Jules' partner isn't here either, pair up with her, station four.
Seth: Jules? Alright I'll give it another shot - give home-ec another shot.

View Quote [After Slater and Michaels pretend to arrest Fogel in front of a crowd of teenagers]
Officer Slater: This is gonna get you so much ass.
Fogel: Really?

View Quote [Breaking up the party]
Slater: Oh no, it's the cops!
Michaels: Get the hell outta here right now...
Slater: Get outta here pal she's not interested...
Michaels: Drop the crantini and move it, sister...
Slater: See ya sugar tits!

View Quote [From trailer]
Officer Slater: McLovin?
Officer Michaels: That's such a cool name.
Officer Slater: I know.
Officer Michaels: It sounds like a sexy hamburger.

View Quote [Looking at an adult magazine]
Seth: Oh **** me...
Evan: Look at those nipples...
Seth: They look like little baby toes.
Evan: It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get.
Seth: Y'know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it and it feels awesome! I almost blew a load into my bellybutton.

View Quote [Walks by the kid Seth and pushes his notebook and his dick drawing off the desk, and it lands near kid Becca]
Kid: Pussy!

View Quote [Watching the police cruiser burn]
Fogell: Can we shoot it?
Officer Michaels: I dunno.
[Offers Fogell his gun]
Officer Michaels: Can you?
[Fogell shoots out a window]
Fogell:Break yo' self fool!
[Fogell empties the rest of the magazine at the car in a frenzy]
Fogel: Tight...

View Quote [after getting period blood on his pants and seeing it on the girl's fiance] Hey, we're blood brothers!

View Quote [After parking in staff parking lot] Quit being such a vagi! **** it, I'm about to graduate. They should be suckin' on my ballsack. That's the least they can do for stealing 3 years of my life.

View Quote [After shooting up the police car] Tight.

View Quote [Out of breath] That kid's a freak! He's a freak, he's the fastest kid alive!

View Quote [Sarcastically, when teen opens up door] Oh no, it's the cops.

View Quote [To Nicola on the dance floor] Fogel. Sup?

View Quote [While breaking up a party] Everyone prepare to be ****ed by the long dick of the law!

View Quote [While breaking up a party] I assume you all have guns and crack.