Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby quotes

View Quote Ricky: Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, in your golden, fleece diapers, with your curled-up, fat, balled-up little fists pawin' at the air...
Chip: He was a man! He had a beard!
Ricky: I like the baby version the best, do you hear me?! I win the races and I get the money! I work too hard for your bull, Chip.

View Quote Ricky: Dear Tiny, Infant, Jesus...
Carley: Um, sweetie, Jesus did grow up. You don't always have to call him baby. It's a bit odd and off-puttin' to pray to a baby.
Ricky: Look, I like the Christmas Jesus best, and I'm sayin' grace. When you say grace, you can say it to Grownup Jesus or Teenage Jesus or Bearded Jesus or whoever you want.

View Quote Ricky: I'm really gonna open it up now! Whoo! I missed you, Mama Speed! Ricky Bobby's back!
Mr. Dennit: Wait, h--how fast is he going?
Lucius: Uh, 26 miles an hour.
Ricky: What were those things? Were those the other cars?!

View Quote Ricky: No one plays jazz here at The Pit Stop!
Jean: Then why is the song on the jukebox?
Bartender: We keep it on there for profiling purposes. We also got the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.

View Quote Susan: [telling Ricky why he should get back into racing] It's because it's what you love to do. It's who you were born to be. And here you sit--thinking! Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years! And it is good! And you use it! And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky! You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?!
Ricky: Susan, I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.

View Quote Susan: Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan. I painted the car, I...we had sex.
Reese: You did?
Susan & Ricky: Yeah.
Reese: Well, I wish I coulda been there for that.

View Quote Susan: How does one get thrown out of an Applebee's?
Ricky: You're about to find out.

View Quote Texas Ranger: [complaining about doing community service] I gotta tell ya Granny, this blows!
Walker: How much more of this?
Lucy: Well, I don't know. When are you boys going to stop tossing me the radio in the bathtub?

View Quote Texas Ranger: Well, if it isn't our old mangy, transient grandfather.
Reese: Well said, grandson. I'll take that as a compliment.

View Quote Texas Ranger: What are you lookin at popeye?
Reese: Shut up you little potlicker, I'll put you in the microwave

View Quote Walker: Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy!
Texas Ranger: I don't even know what that means, but I love it!

View Quote Walker: Shut up in here, I'm tryin' to sleep!
Texas Ranger: One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth!

View Quote [about being a pit crew member] Sorry, Lucius, but it's a hard habit to break, like stalking an ex-girlfriend.

View Quote [about holding hands with Ricky] It is a sign of friendship in many cultures, it is not sexual at all. Do not be bothered by the fact I have an erection right now. It has nothing to do with you.

View Quote [After breaking Ricky's arm] Your injury is one of ignorance and pride!