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I hate this ****ing place sometimes, you know. Why the **** do we need four more people on at this time of day, man? Look at this place, it's ****ing dead! I swear, Dan needs to clean the *shit* out of his ****ing brain sometimes, man. ****ing asshole.[Sees Mitch for the first time] What are you looking at, ****-wad?
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I think I might name my daughter after chlamydia.
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I want a single shot of whisky, and a double shot of whisky, and she'll have water. You know, what the hell. It's our anniversary. Would you bring her a Pepsi?
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I'd do her (Amy). Hell I'd probably even pay. [chuckles] ...I would.
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If it's gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.
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It's good in a sense that I can take walks in my underwear; I can give small children the middle finger. But as long as I look happy while I'm doing it, people just assume I'm senile.... Well, sometimes I give small children the middle finger and don't realize I'm doing it until someone slaps me, so I really am going senile.
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It's like a horrible time paradox, where neither our wisdom, nor your virginity ever escape.
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It's okay, I understand how it works. Birds of a feather flock to vagina.
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Look at the bat-wing, bitch!
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Ma'am, I don't doubt the steak was overcooked, but did you have to eat it all BEFORE you complained about it?
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Mitch, you picked a ****ed-up night to start working here.
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Nothing worse than going to the back room for some condiments and ending up staring at a huge, steamy pile of ****. [Shudders]
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OH, WHAT-THE-****-EVER!
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Okay, Nicholas, Theodore. Boys. It doesn't take ten minutes to take out the trash. Now, if you don't get your asses out front and start doing some work, I'm going to fire you faster than you can say, "Yo, MTV Raps"!
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Oohh, it's so veiny!