Transformers (2007) quotes

View Quote Sam Witwicky: What is Sector 7? Answer me!
Agent Simmons: I'm the one who asks questions around here. Not you, young man!
Mikaela Banes: How did you know about the aliens?
Sam Witwicky: Where did you take my parents?
Agent Simmons: I am not at liberty to discuss this. [Sam takes his ID] Hey, you touch me, that's a federal offense.
Sam Witwicky: "Do whatever you want and get away with it badge", right?
Agent Simmons: Great, brave now all of a sudden with all of your alien friends here.
Sam Witwicky: Where's Sector 7?!
Agent Simmons: [sneers] Wouldn't you like to know?
[Behind him, Bumblebee pops an oil filter and leaks lubricant on Simmons]
Agent Simmons: HEY!!
Optimus Prime: Bumblebee, stop lubricating the man!
Agent Simmons: Get that thing to stop, huh?!

View Quote Sam Witwicky: [about Bumblebee] I don't think it wants to hurt us. He would've done that already.
Mikaela Banes: Really? Well, do you speak robot? Because they just had, like, a giant droid death match.
Sam Witwicky: [gets closer to Bumblebee] I think it wants something from me.
Mikaela Banes: What?
Sam Witwicky: Well 'cause the other one was talking about my eBay page.
Mikaela Banes: You are the strangest boy I have ever met.
Sam Witwicky: [looking up at Bumblebee] Can you talk?
Bumblebee: [through his radio] XM Satellite Radio... Digital cable brings you... Columbia Broadcasting System.
Sam Witwicky: You can... you can talk through the radio?
Bumblebee: [clapping his hands] Thank you, you're beautiful. You're wonderful, you're wonderful.
Sam Witwicky: So, what was that last night? What was that?
Bumblebee: [pointing skywards] Message from Starfleet, Captain... Throughout the innate vastness of space... Angels rain down like visitors from heaven! Hallelujah!
Mikaela Banes: Visitors from heaven... What? What are you, like, an alien or something?
[Bumblebee points a finger at her and nods, and transforms into a 1976 Camero]
Bumblebee: [through his radio] Any more questions you want to ask?
Sam Witwicky: He wants us to get in the car.
Mikaela Banes: [laughing nervously] And go where?
Sam Witwicky: Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?

View Quote Sam Witwicky: [in a used car showroom] Okay, let me explain something to you. You ever seen The 40-Year-Old Virgin?
Ron Witwicky: Yeah...
Sam Witwicky: Well, that... [points to a car] is what it is, and this [points to another car] is the 50-year-old virgin. Do you want me to live that life?

View Quote Starscream: I live to serve you, Lord Megatron!
Megatron: Where is the Cube?
Starscream: The humans have taken it!
Megatron: [growls] You failed me yet again, Starscream. GET THEM!

View Quote Tech Sgt. Epps: [radioing to a lone F-22 flying overhead] Raptor, Raptor, do you copy? We have you visual. Green smoke is the mark, provide air cover and vector Black Hawks for extraction.
[The F-22, guided by the smoke, turns and head for them, but there's no answer]
Ironhide: [transforms] It's Starscream!
Tech Sgt. Epps: Please tell me you copy...
Ironhide: Back up, take cover! Bumblebee...!
[With Bumblebee's help, Ironhide grabs a truck and uses it as a shield as Starscream comes closer]
Capt. Lennox: Oh no, no, no, no, MOVE!
Ironhide: Back up! Back up! Incoming!
Capt. Lennox: Retreat, fall back!
[Starscream strafes the ground, blasting everyone to the ground]
Capt. Lennox: What the hell was that?
Tech Sgt. Epps: What are you talking about?
Capt. Lennox: What do you mean, what am I talking about? They shot at us!
Tech Sgt. Epps: F-22 pilots would never fly below buildings! That's alien! That ain't friendly!

View Quote Trent: So, what are you guys doing here?
Sam Witwkcky: [looking at the tree Miles climbing] We're here to climb this tree.
Trent: I can see, it looks... it looks fun. You know, I thought I recognized you. You tried out for the football team last year, right?
Sam Witwicky: Oh, no, no, that... That wasn't like a real try-out. I was researching a book I was writing?
Trent: Oh, yeah?
Sam Witwicky: Yeah!
Trent: Yeah? What's it about? Sucking at sports?
Sam Witwicky: [laughs a little] No, it's about the link between brain damage and football.
[Trent looks really angry, while Mikaela hides a smile]
Sam Witwicky: [nods head] No, it's a good book, your friends will love it. You know, it's got mazes in it, you know, little coloring areas, sections, pop-up pictures... it's a lot of fun.
Trent: That's funny.

View Quote [After his parents enter his bedroom, Sam is desperately protesting; the Autobots are secretly outside, and Mikaela is hiding in the room]
Judy Witwicky: Oh, for Pete's sakes! You are so defensive! Were you... masturbating?
Ron Witwicky: Judy.
Sam Witwicky: [frantic] Was I master... No, Mom!
Ron Witwicky: Zip it, okay?
Judy Witwicky: It's okay.
Sam Witwicky: No, I don't masturbate!
Ron Witwicky: That's not something for you to bring up.
Judy Witwicky: It's okay.
Ron Witwicky: That's a father-and-son thing, okay?
Sam Witwicky: [amazed] Father-and-son thing.
Judy Witwicky: I mean, you don't have to call it that word if it makes you uncomfortable. You can call it "Sam's happy time".
Sam Witwicky: Happy time?
Judy Witwicky: Or "My special alone time with myself".
Ron Witwicky: Judy, stop.
Sam Witwicky: [final plea] Mom, you can't come in and...
Judy Witwicky: I'm sorry, it's just been a weird night; I've had a little too much to drink.

View Quote [Agent Simmons is interrogating Sam and Mikaela in a car]
Agent Simmons: Hey, you see this? [shows them his badge] This is a "do whatever I want and get away with it" badge. I'm gonna lock you up forever.
Mikaela Banes: Oh God... you know what? Don't listen to him. He's just pissy because he's gotta get back to guarding the Mall.
Agent Simmons: You in the training bra. Do not test me, especially with your daddy's parole coming up.
Sam Witwicky: What? Parole?!
Mikaela Banes: It's nothing.
Agent Simmons: A grand theft auto? That ain't nothing?
Mikaela Banes: You know those cars my dad used to teach me to fix? Well, they... They weren't always his.
Sam Witwicky: You stole cars?!
Mikaela Banes: Well, we couldn't always afford a babysitter, so he'd sometimes had to bring me along.
Agent Simmons: She's got her own juvy record to prove it! She's a criminal. And criminals are hot! Now it'd be a real shame if he rots in jail for the rest of his natural life. It is time to talk!
[The car crashes into an unknown object and is suddenly lifted from the ground, then falls back down as the roof is ripped off]
Sam Witwicky: You A-holes are in trouble now. Gentlemen, I want to introduce you to my friend, Optimus Prime.
Optimus Prime: Taking the children was a bad move. Autobots relieve them of their weapons!
[The agents point their weapons at Prime, while the Autobots jump down from a nearby bridge and reveal their weapons]
Ironhide: [brandishing his cannons] Freeze!!
Agent Simmons: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Jazz: Give me those! [uses his magnetic hands to disarm the agents]
[Optimus Prime leans in to face Simmons and the agents]
Agent Simmons: [staring at Prime] Hi there.
Optimus Prime: You don't seem afraid. Are you not surprised to see us?
Agent Simmons: Look there are—S7 protocols, okay? I'm not authorized to communicate with you... except to tell you that I cannot communicate with—you
Optimus Prime: [sternly] Get out of the car.
Agent Simmons: Uh...me? You want me to...
Optimus Prime: NOW!!!
Agent Simmons: All right, I'm getting out.

View Quote [Barricade transforms right in front of Sam]
Sam Witwicky: Oh God, NO!!! [Barricade chases him] Oh shit, oh shit, oh God, OH SHIT!!! It's a bad dream!
Barricade: [quickly and ferociously] Are you username: LadiesMan217?!
Sam Witwicky: I don't know what you're talking about!
Barricade: ARE YOU USERNAME: LADIESMAN217?!!
Sam Witwicky: Yeah.
Barricade: Where is the eBay Item 21153?!
Sam Witwicky: What?
Barricade: WHERE ARE THE GLASSES?!!

View Quote [Bumblebee is driving Sam and Mikaela through a tunnel]
Mikaela Banes: This car's a pretty good driver.
Sam Witwicky: Why don't you go sit in that seat there? [motions to the driver's seat]
Mikaela Banes: I'm not gonna sit in that seat, he's driving.
Sam Witwicky: Yeah. You're right. You know, maybe you should sit on my lap.
Mikaela Banes: Why?
Sam Witwicky: Well-I-I have the only seatbelt here. You know, safety first.
Mikaela Banes: Yeah, alright. [climbs onto Sam's lap]
Sam Witwicky: See? That's better.
Mikaela Banes: You know, that seat belt thing was a pretty smooth move.

View Quote [Captain Lennox is trying to call the Pentagon while his men fight Scorponok]
Capt. Lennox: NO, I DON'T HAVE A CREDIT CARD!!
International Operator: [bored] Sir, the attitude isn't going to speed things up any bit at all. I'm going to ask you to speak into the mouthpiece very clearly.
Capt. Lennox: I'm in the middle of a WAR! This is friggin' ridiculous!! [Runs over to Epps] I need a credit card! Epps, where's your wallet?
Tech Sgt. Epps: Pocket!!
Capt. Lennox: Which pocket?!
Tech Sgt. Epps: MY BACK POCKET!!!
Capt. Lennox: You've got ten back pockets!!!
Tech Sgt. Epps: LEFT CHEEK!!! LEFT CHEEK!!! LEFT CHEEK!!!
. . .
Capt. Lennox: Okay, it's a Visa.
International Operator: Also, sir, have you heard about our Premium Plus full service call package?
Capt. Lennox: NO, I DON'T WANT A PREMIUM PACKAGE!!! Epps, Pentagon!

View Quote [Epps and Glen stare at the gashes in the Allspark chamber]
Tech Sgt. Epps: Whoa. Has Freddy Krueger been in here?
Glen Whitmann: Naw, man! Freddy Krueger's got four blades, that's only three! That's Wolverine! [growls and laughs] Right, that's Wolverine? [Epps looks very unimpressed]
Agent Simmons: That's very funny. [Glenn falls slient, offended] Does anyone have any mechanical devices? BlackBerry, key alarm, cell phone?
Glen Whitmann: I got a phone. [hands it to Simmons]
Agent Simmons: Nokias are real nasty. You gotta respect the Japanese; they know the way of the Samurai.
Maggie Madsen: Nokia's from Finland.
John Keller: Yes, but he's, uh... [quietly] you know, strange. He's a little strange.
[Simmons flips a switch, shooting electricity into the box; the cellphone transforms into a well-armed miniature robot that starts shooting at the box with a gatling gun]
Agent Simmons: We're able to harness the Cube's radiation and funnel it into that box. Mean little sucker, huh?
Maggie Madsen: That thing is freaky!
Agent Simmons: Kinda like the itty-bitty Energizer Bunny from Hell, huh?!

View Quote [Frenzy has infiltrated Sector 7's bunker where the Allspark is located - all are speaking in Cybertronian]
Frenzy: Allspark located.
Starscream: This is Starscream. All Decepticons, mobilize.
Barricade: Barricade en-route.
Devastator: Devastator reporting.
Bonecrusher: Bonecrusher rolling.
Blackout: Blackout incoming. All hail Megatron!

View Quote [Glen has just eaten a whole plateful of donuts]
Glen Whitmann: Ok, Maggie, look. Let me break it down to you how it's going to happen. They're going to come through that door, be good-cop, bad-cop. Don't fall for that, all right? That's why I ate their food. See, they put the plate of donuts out here to test your guilt. If you don't touch it, you're guilty. I ate the whole plate—the whole plate, okay? So me and you, they walk through that door, you don't say nothing. [door opens and agents come in and surround them; as soon an agent drops a folder of papers on the folder, Glen jumps up and points to Maggie] SHE DID IT!!! She did it, she's the one you want! I was just sitting at home, watching cartoons and playing video games with my cousin, then she came in there!
Maggie Madsen: [in anger] Glen, you freak!
Glen Whitmann: Hey, I am not going to jail for you, or anybody else! I have done nothing bad my entire life! Hey man, I’m still a virgin! Okay, so I downloaded a couple of thousand songs off the internet. Who hasn't? Who hasn't?!
Maggie Madsen: Glen, shut up!
Glen Whitmann: No, you shut up! Don't talk to me! Don't talk to me, criminal! [suddenly clutches his stomach] Ooh... sugar rush...

View Quote [Keller enters the FBI interrogation room]
Maggie Madsen: What's going on?
John Keller: You're coming with me. You're going to be my advisor.
Glen Whitmann: Me too?
John Keller: Who's this?
Maggie Madsen: He's... my advisor.
John Keller: He comes too.